For any of the older people reading this who are not familiar with them, ASKING ALEXANDRIA is one of the most important Tumblrcore bands of the last 3 years. They are popular because girls love the singer, who is named Danny Worsnop and is apparently writing a book about himself and what makes him such a unique and interesting person.
I found out about this book through his Tumblr, which is a blog about himself. It is a place for him to post pictures of himself, his friends, himself, what he does offstage, himself, and other stuff– basically, he can post about anything and it is relevant because he is posting it.
In the header for his Tumblr, he manages to use the word ‘I’ twice in a three-word title. Then he refers to himself in the third person, which is always one of my favorite moves, like when athletes are ’trying to sound rly professional’ in a press conference and say stuff like ‘myself feels that this is the best Terrell Owens that Terrell Owens has ever been.’
This is a photo of Danny sitting in a chair. It looks like he has a lot on his mind. Also, he has on the same kind of little boots like The Beatles wore.
Danny also posts a lot of his photography on his Tumblr. It is not very good though. Fortunately, as a popular musician he is surrounded by many talented photographers- he can just ask the nearest chunky girl with a photo pass around her neck for tips.
This is the cover of the book, which has the word ‘I’ in the title, a picture of his face, and ‘by Danny Worsnop’ at the bottom. It is about Danny Worsnop. Here is the introduction to the book, or as he calls it an ‘exert’:
Dear whoever the hell stumbled across my innate scribblings; [I think he meant to type 'inane' here]
My name is Danny Worsnop. I was born on September 4th, 1990 in Beverly, England. I entered this world kicking and screaming, knowing nothing of how fucking important my being alive was going to be to so many people. I grew up as unimportant and insignificant as most in the small village of Gilberdyke (as far north of ‘middle-of- nowhere’ as you can go whilst still being a little south of ‘you’ve- never-heard-of-it’) by my forever supportive parents Philip and Sharon along with my younger sister, Kelly.
Now, at the age of 21, I have toured the world and sang my songs to enough people to populate a small country. I’ve overcome a cocaine addiction that should’ve killed me and alcoholism that almost did. I’ve loved, lost and loved again. In fact, I’ve fallen in love with almost as many women as I’ve fallen into bed with and we will for now, just file that under the category of “HOW MANY?!”
At this point you may at this point be wondering what the hell I am doing here. Am I lost? Did I take a wrong turn? Surely I must be in the wrong place… Well, you are as wrong as wrong could be and then some. I knew what I was getting myself into and still, with a tip of my hat and a tap of my cowboy booted heels, cannonballed right into the deep end of the volatile, unstable ocean of insanity known as Asking Alexandria…
I am sure he will still be relevant in the next 3 years or so, definitely.
He is a rockstar who is creating timeless works of art. He will be relevant when the world ends and beyond.
The Jim Morrisson of tumblr imo
idk mayne, he doesn’t seem to be into poetry and his writing is p entry level. I kinda think to be a Jim Morrison character you have to use big, pompous words in a real lulzy way.
Innate writings was p funny doe.
Innate writings was p funny doe
I am glad you enjoyed this short exert of his book
lmaoo sarge have you seen this?
http://youtu.be/F4LajSyRojE
I wrote an article about this months ago. So glad they released the full episode, will never get tired of seeing Warrior screaming at these weenies.
i keep waiting for them to release the full episode for the i see stars one but they never do :( i swear its just been the “preview” for like over half a year haha
I wanna see that guy struggle to squat 10 reps with the bar, dammit!
ha ha weenies. Brb going to Monster Weenie Monday.
There should be a srs trigger-warning for this post:
☠ DANGER ☢ * Pretentious, narcissistic, delusional english faggot who neither invented or revolutionized anything faps all over himself in book form * ☠ ☣PELIGRO ☢ PENDEJO ☠
Glad I’m not the only one who’s butt is legit hurting over this.
I mean, it’s good for him that he’s become so succesful in a day and age where that is harder than ever and all that, well done bro, but really… This really has the vibe of a dude who’s waaaay too far up his own ass. It’s perfectly fine to be proud of your achievements if you’ve gone anywhere, but srs….
Also, I’m not sure “innate” can be used in that context. Also mirin how a dude who can’t spell “excerpt” is actually writing a book.
dear god… i think glenn danzig, brett michaels, dave mustaine, n lars ulrich have sum competition for the biggest douche/asshole whose head is stuck way up his own culo award!!!!!
Exactly. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be enraged, impressed, or both.
Because let’s face it, if you want to beat those guys and their own game, you seriously need to put in some Olympic-Gold-Medal-grade effort and training.
I don’t think I’ve felt butt hurt rage before. It’s like you get cut off in traffic all the time, but then one day someone makes you want to stop the car and pull them out of theirs. This is that day for me.
TRIGGER WARNING: PINCHES GEUROS/CULEROS CON SUS CABESAS EN SUS NALGAS
Is “TRIGGER WARNING” pronounced with the same cute inflections as when announcers in Spanish commercials say English product names?
“TREEGAIR WHAHRNEEENG”
Can this fggt from AA get his own version of rock of love with a house full of tumblrsluts !?!?
Pretty sure that’s already a Stickam channel, and has been for months..
my butt hurts so bad. i hate pretentious assholes, and this dude is quite possibly the king of them.
This is so mindbendingly ludicrous it seems like a troll, but no one smart enough to execute something this masterful would have gotten into the music business. The mixture of utter self-absorption, self-importance and stupidity seems like a parody. Did he really not bother to spellcheck his own biography? Does he really think that he is this important? Too many questions.
Asking Alexandria are such master troll haha
this. danny worsnop = advanced level troll.
I interviewed him once. He was nice, if a bit confused about what direction to take his personal brand.
IMO he is in the same category as Alex Bigman from FIGHT FAIR: a troll so high-level that he trolls himself from time to time.
This explains a lot about this book thing. Or maybe it doesn’t.
Idk, a lot of people think they can write and try to get book deals. That’s fine and dandy, but just cuz you think you can write doesn’t mean anyone should give you a book deal. imo the person who gave him the book deal is the troll. Either that, or he is just as dumb as Danny. Also, who would believe this dude could write? Has no one ever listened to an Asking Alexandria album? His go to lyric is “Oh my God!” I swear I can point it out in almost every song
I’m 21 and i know full well that writing a book documenting my life up to this point would be nothing short of completely silly via nobody wanting to hear the inane ramblings of someone who can barely drink legally.
*innate ramblings imo
I recall some time back that Serg made a joke in the comments of some post about Whitechapel calling themselves “heavy metal” in response to the srs/true trend. Well, if you read more of the bio, Danny refers to Asking Alexandria as a “heavy metal band”. Once again mirin your ability to see in the future.
(Ultimate Warrior voice) I’LL SHOW YOU SOME HEAVY FUCKING METAL, EVERYONE TAKE A CHAIN!
He’s the real life Dennis Reynolds
D.A.N.N.Y. method?
Danny Worsnop: An erotic life
strong carles vibe in this post
I only steal from the best.
Unbelievable that this faggot is not even a year older than me.
glad I haven’t wasted my life on drugs and touring with a lame band. still got a year to do it thoo
Yeah, srsly, when he said 1990 I cried at how old that makes me feel (born in 89).
I am exactly one year older than this guy, that being my birthday is sept. 4th….. brb getting an addiction to get over so i can keep up with the times.
lol yeah it sux getting old now that the new generation of bands are all younger than me (i was born in 88). im a big i see stars fan and i found out after i met them that im older than all the members. lolz oh well
I started going to shows in 89 :(
lol wouldnt you have been 11? cause if you started going to shows when you were 11 thats fucking hardcore
My brother took me to my first show when I was 10. It happens
Sarge is an old dude.
HOW MANY?!
“I AM I”
oh.
why do brits get so anal about themselves once they get a little recognition?
It’s not even funny
That’s not really a tendency I’ve observed anywhere. Sure, the less clever ones do exhibit that, but rarely the ones that do anything worthwhile. People like Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry and Tony Iommi and God knows how many others seem very humble, at least in the public forum.
But of course Big Brother contestants, Footballers and other brainless amoebae tend to get a bit self-congratulatory.
Had a chat with Iommi during the gods of metal 09 (via knowing a few people in the comune of monza who gave me the opportunity to “work” in the stadio brianteo) and have to admit that he’s pretty chill.
And I guess it’s pretty obvious that you can’t tar everyone with the same brush, but in my experience the few of them I talked with were quit full of themselves and their “britishness” (i.e. bringing out how powerful the british empire was while having a chat about football), this being said, I hold no grudge against them
Getting nostalgic about an empire built on slavery and being obsessed with a sport full of diving pussies is a awful personality trait in Britain. And it’s fucking everywhere.
What’s worse is that they’re defensive about something they wern’t born into… link skramz. Defend tr00 Empires.
a trait italians share too, as a friend of mine (who’s sadly quite fascist) replied to him that the Serie A was better than the Premier League and the roman empire was better than the british empire, and it was by far the most ignorant debate ever, ahahahah
I had a roommate do this. Went on and on with how Italians are great for completely insane. Turns out only his grandpa was Italian so it only takes 1/4th to make someone an asshole
my guess is that his grandpa was/is a “nostalgic” and filled his son with nationalist bullshit and then he did the same with your roommate
worst kind of italians imo, right after neapolitans
He has an ask box. Asked him if he likes to finger his butthole while jerking off and how many times a day he slams the gorebong. Eagerly awaiting his response.
how many times a day he slams the gorebong
lol
I think what I loved also is that Oli Sykes took the piss out of the whole blog. http://theadventuresofoliversykes.com/post/28554504358/so-today-i-spent-a-good-few-hours-ont-bog-surfing
I am officially gay for Oli Sykes now. Fucking A+ work.
very advanced work, would read biting commentary again/10
am not a fan of BMTH or Oli Sykes but this is fucking excellent.
Brutal– Oli Sykes is a legit dummy, so getting clowned like that by him of all people has to sting
I bet danny was hurt to think one of their influence’s thought he was a joke. Like when NFG told ALT to fuck off when they wanted them to tour with them.
[i]Oli Sykes is a legit dummy[/i]
Haven’t seen any interviews with him and know practically nothing about him or his band, so with this being the only thing I’ve read from him, this comes as a bit of a surprise. To me at least, this is enormously clever writing, and with more nasty little stings than you can shake a stick at.
If he’s a dummy, then by god, the boy’s done good on this.
I watched him in interviews and he’s just really quite and says the bare minimum. On written interviews he seems more articulated than his accent gives him off to be.
I am basing that on what a few people have told me who actually are friends with/know him
Maybe he got somebody else to write it and credited it to himself? Via BMTH quickly losing their status as scene kings to AA and needing someway to remain in the public consciousness.
I cried a little. If this was a real book I would probably read it.
Holy shit, they absolutely finished him.
that was too advanced level British for me to really dig it. But I’m proud of him still.
Same feels: Commendable work which, by the nature of the authorship, shows how low-hanging the fruit that is Danny Worsnop truly is, but reading that was sort of like when I try to read Yiddish: I think I kind of understand every few words, but then again, maybe not.
I see what you mean. If you haven’t been either pretty much raised on british TV, humour and culture or are an limey urself, 90% of the gags in that post will just not be that funny.
However, if you do get it, it’s legit 120% condensed brilliance. I’m still lol’ing my ass off hours after reading it.
Not gonna lie, I’m drawing blanks at that piece of writing. I take your word for granted that it’s a stinging piece of satire doe #faith
10/10 work,
Danny Worsnop Status:
not told [ ]
slightly told [ ]
told [ ]
knights of the TOLD republic [x]
Stone TOLD Steve Austin [x]
No country for TOLD men [x]
Christ, I can’t even hardly read this shit because of how he types. I can hear his yorkshire accent in my head while reading this and I’ve never heard his voice before.
I fucking love told puns
Leo TOLDstoy
TOLD Fusion reaction
Batman the brave and the TOLD
Yo seriously nigger real talk you just got TOLD
Excellent. BMTH may have milked the whole scene explosion, and make shitty music, but theyre legit metal fans. AA blatantly ripped their image.
would be confused by reigonal dialect again/10 … srs doe, that was pretty funny to me
would misspell regional/10
Q on dat music vid: Was the pornstar poisened or wha? Since when does kissing a pornstar=death randomly?
she was an ~evil succubus~ out to get him duuuuuuh
she put a poisonous peppermint in his vodka tonic. duh.
Call me krazy, but are scenecore and Danny Worsnop really still huge and relevant on tumblr? I thought the big “thing” was The Wonder Yurs and The Story So Fart, I barely see any chicks stuck in ’09 worship. Or am I just following/observing the wrong majority? Respond, pot favor
AA are much bigger than those bands at the moment, but you are certainly right that the kids have moved on from scenecore in general. The bands have too, which is why you have awkward, lulzy things like Of Mice & Men calling themselves ‘hard rock’
lol, though I would srsly consider AA to be a stone’s throw from hard rock nowadays :/
fair enough, this is true. but my mind is still bottled by anyone using the term ‘hard rock’ non-ironically
Believe it or not, in Sweden “hard rock” is the generally accepted term for anything with distorted guitars, and can be applied to anything from Bon Jovi to Impetuous Ritual. Swedes are weird like that.
That feel when you have the same tumblr theme as Danny Worsnop’s self-masturbatory blog :C
+1
So skinny-fat beardo lives it up before his set, hooks up with a transexual, and ODs on something (life?). How could that narrative not harden the nips of every scene slut around the tumblrsphere?
It should probably just be retitled “How I Made Scene Girl Panties Wet”.
SWAG: The Danny Worsnop Story
Usually when people younger than me explain their ‘unique perspective on life,’ they’re art school pot dealers, so this is kind of refreshing.
Was expectIng some self absorbed ass-hattery you’d come to expect from fags In theIr mId-30s, and that have been playIng shows sInce forever In a bIg-name band. My butt pulsated so hard when I found out thIs shIt head Is two years younger than me. What the faulk?
everyone’s comments here are so on point there’s like nothing to say except obviously this whole project is a little premature (like DW’s many professed ejaculations) so he will probably make it 25 pages, feel like he wrote his life thesis and send it to print #secondhandembarrassment
on point (srs)
My thoughts exactly– feel like he shot his wad with this and said everything he has to say to the world. Will be shocked if ever writes another word of this ‘book.’
in b4 someone else points out the irony of this blog criticizing homeboy 4 spelling stuff wrong.
mis spelling is meant 2 b ironc (we lyk 2 make fun of dumb teenagrs l0l), unlike Worsnop, who likes to come across as a “serious musician” with “a message for the world.”
But srs who cares about spelling everything right 100% of the time anyway?
The funny part isn’t that he spelled them wrong, its that he used the wrong fucking words that do not mean what he is trying to say.
‘put THAT exert in your pipe and smoke it!
Also, call me out if this was already implied/stated directly, but does anyone get the feeling that the introduction reads like it IS the entire book, almost as if that’s pretty much everything in a nutshell, and going into further detail would be frivolous and contrived? Like, “cool bro, you’re in a band, you do drugs, you drink alcohol, and you band groupie sluts. like we didn’t already figure that”?! Am I just crazy or…? It just feels like this is the first step of an inevitable crash and burn, when DW realizes that he doesn’t actually have enough to say for anything more than a medium-length blog post? /feelsbadbr0
i think this part hurt my butt the most
“My family was a completely ordinary one. Average money, average house, average cars, average grades, average life… Average… If there’s one thing I’ve grown to detest more than anything else on this celestial orb we call home, it’s ‘average.’ Don’t get me wrong, I wish not for a past riddled with poverty, but there is nothing more dull and uninspiring than ‘average’ and anyone who has experienced it in large doses will verify that in a heartbeat.”
like boohoo you grew up in a perfectly fine home you fucking wuss
That makes him come off as the biggest douche ever, cool story bro you came from an average home, I grew up with a mom younger than you living with her parents. What the fuck does this aesthetic-less wanker have to say about life? Hey Danny come fight me you giant wuss, I’ll kick your ass into poverty bitch.
i feel like he should have manager to tell him he needs to proof read his shit before he posts it on the interwebz. \m/
Okay so none of this surprises me except for the fact that I had NO idea that he’s just under 22 years old. I cannot fathom the idiot that thinks he knows so much about life at 22 fucking years old. That’s all.
He looks like he’s over 30 though, which is not a good look, since he’ll probably look like Keith Richards does now, when he reaches 35.
please repost when the softcover drops
I have nothing to add, other than that I need a fucking bucket of salve, because this caused me an unprecedented level of buttpain.
I saw these these dudes maybe 1-2 years ago and remember thinking the singer was pretty overweight and he had one of those little hats that drama students are always wearing, plus he seemed out of breath a lot. This was especially glaring as they were on just before the extremely on-trend BMTH.
Anyway I’m glad to hear he’s got his personal brand together.
SceneFaggish.
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