For any of the older people reading this who are not familiar with them, ASKING ALEXANDRIA is one of the most important Tumblrcore bands of the last 3 years. They are popular because girls love the singer, who is named Danny Worsnop and is apparently writing a book about himself and what makes him such a unique and interesting person.
I found out about this book through his Tumblr, which is a blog about himself. It is a place for him to post pictures of himself, his friends, himself, what he does offstage, himself, and other stuff– basically, he can post about anything and it is relevant because he is posting it.
In the header for his Tumblr, he manages to use the word ‘I’ twice in a three-word title. Then he refers to himself in the third person, which is always one of my favorite moves, like when athletes are ’trying to sound rly professional’ in a press conference and say stuff like ‘myself feels that this is the best Terrell Owens that Terrell Owens has ever been.’
This is a photo of Danny sitting in a chair. It looks like he has a lot on his mind. Also, he has on the same kind of little boots like The Beatles wore.
Danny also posts a lot of his photography on his Tumblr. It is not very good though. Fortunately, as a popular musician he is surrounded by many talented photographers- he can just ask the nearest chunky girl with a photo pass around her neck for tips.
This is the cover of the book, which has the word ‘I’ in the title, a picture of his face, and ‘by Danny Worsnop’ at the bottom. It is about Danny Worsnop. Here is the introduction to the book, or as he calls it an ‘exert’:
Dear whoever the hell stumbled across my innate scribblings; [I think he meant to type 'inane' here]
My name is Danny Worsnop. I was born on September 4th, 1990 in Beverly, England. I entered this world kicking and screaming, knowing nothing of how fucking important my being alive was going to be to so many people. I grew up as unimportant and insignificant as most in the small village of Gilberdyke (as far north of ‘middle-of- nowhere’ as you can go whilst still being a little south of ‘you’ve- never-heard-of-it’) by my forever supportive parents Philip and Sharon along with my younger sister, Kelly.
Now, at the age of 21, I have toured the world and sang my songs to enough people to populate a small country. I’ve overcome a cocaine addiction that should’ve killed me and alcoholism that almost did. I’ve loved, lost and loved again. In fact, I’ve fallen in love with almost as many women as I’ve fallen into bed with and we will for now, just file that under the category of “HOW MANY?!”
At this point you may at this point be wondering what the hell I am doing here. Am I lost? Did I take a wrong turn? Surely I must be in the wrong place… Well, you are as wrong as wrong could be and then some. I knew what I was getting myself into and still, with a tip of my hat and a tap of my cowboy booted heels, cannonballed right into the deep end of the volatile, unstable ocean of insanity known as Asking Alexandria…