ON PACE TO BREAK WORLD RECORD FOR BUTT PAIN
It could only be more perfect if he listed someone that all her fans should listen to. Dude’s butt must be ODing on painkillers constantly for him to not pass out from the pain. i’d be surprised if he ever sat down again, but he’ll probably kill himself next time someone makes a popular song so we’ll never know if it is possible to comeback from a butt this devastated. If you’re reading this Tristan (holy shit at that terrible name, I’d be mad too if my parents always hated me since birth), come receive your award.
Silver in the Butthurtlympics goes to this guy
Bronze goes to this guy, point deduction for trying too hard and being really bad at it
I was on her page for like fifteen seconds, so let me know if you find any more worthy posts from pathetic butt hurt losers that deserve our admiration. and try to remember the golden rule: “fuck hatin, get money” – Jesus and Buddha
praying 4 these bros :(
The road to recovery will be long and hard, and I fear they may not have the ability :(
I don’t think so either Christian :(
Sad to say, but some may never know what it is to have the ability or even be good and lovely.
When I read this, his buttpain shot through me like a lightning bolt from my computer screen. I don’t want people to live like this anymore. There is help waiting for you if you want it, Tristan. Praying4u
Saw Nikki minaj for free 2 days ago and it was so so so good.
i bet his favourite band is queen
Queen is the one old loser band I legit still love.
Backed hard.
Regardless who shouts about them and how disgusting they may be, they still had some legit classic material, and lots of it.
I have always loved Queen, enen though it’s hard to count myself among the trash that consider themselves fans.
Bet his favourite song is Bohemian Rhapsody
The human body is amazingly resilient. But even it has its limits. In my medical opinion, butt trauma of this magnitude is simply too much to recover from. Factor in the level of “edginess” present, and I have no choice but to fear the worst. :(
Stay on target, Porkins.
We must hold on to hope.
Oh and lol when I saw his facebook page and he makes a post about In Living Color as good music :/
In Living Color or Living Colour? Not sure which is funnier
I am NOT taking the bait, u trolling racist, Because I am a good person.
living color is a talented group of studio musicians working in the heavy metal milleu you fagort
The kind of guy that refuses to dance or sing along to popular songs at parties because it’s not “real music”. The kind of guy that surely sweated over this for hours, breathing heavily as he leans towards his screen, proof-reading and checking paragraph structure, shielding his laptop from the glare of the outside sun. His friends are at the mall having fun be he has a point to make with the help of the writing skills he learnt in school this year.
Dat hyperbole.
THIS. back when i was a butthurt young lad who hate the world i did this many a time on stupid forums. sucks2suck.jpg i hope this young man comes to stuff you will hate and loses his butthurt as i did.
I’m… confused by this Tristan fellow. He strikes me as the fellow who thought he was “the funny friend” in high school, but was actually the guy who tried way to hard to be funny and just made everybody uncomfortable. The kind of guy who’s not REALLY buttmad over nicki manaj but just pretends to be because he watched one too many Bill Hicks (the undisputed king of buttpain) routines and figured that was the formula for hilarity.
Proto-zanybro. I bet he sends out like 50 FB invites a month to his improv show.
I bet he tells his bored coworkers about how he “really burned Nicki Minaj on fb” the other day
good call. Bill Hicks and George Carlin are like the legendairy founding fathers of exhausting oldfag anus-sensitivity
ugh truth. carlin is of course loved by betas everywhere too…
He’s really funny when he’s not an angry old man preaching.
So he’s never funny, then?
You just described me when I was 14-16 :((
me too:(
I don’t understand. Y u no like bill hicks/george carlin, how are they butthurt? Srs question plz respond
not sure about carlin- he was angry about things but he wasn’t butthurt. there’s a difference
bill hicks said rick astley and billy ray cyrus were bad music compared to hendrix and the beetles, that constitutes colorectal pain
Oooooh ok, so he was butthurt about music stuff. Seems like pretty standard oldfaggotry tho, like my uncle from that era might say the same shit yknow? Not saying it doesn’t count, just doesnt seem particularly noteworthy.
On other subjects I found Bill Hicks hilarious
I still laugh at Hick’s stuff, but his comedy was just chalk full of butt frustration. But he was legit funny, so minimal fux given.
I wouldn’t consider Carlin to have been a particularly ass-pained individual, personally.
i mean, all the people who listened to them and totally missed the point, they’re definitely part of the anal injury crew
Mirin’ that A7X tag. Buttrock ala A7X, Nickelback, Creed, Seether, and Halestorm are all pretty much the music for the asspained individual.
I am actually confused by the A7x tag. I thought people hated them for not being tr00 metalz?
i dunno, I thought it’d be a funny band for him to like. My old band made fun out drummer for liking Avenged Sevenfold so much that he stopped listening to them. It was beautiful, we don’t even dislike them. It was just funny.
Yeah, but people who go out of their way to hate on people like Niki Minaj are extremely entry level and probably think of A7X as being “real music”, because it’s not quite as popular in their school/has guitars in it.
BOOM that right there, pretty much everyone i’ve encountered that likes them likes them because it’s “reall muszikc mayde bi reel musishuns”. Idk how anybody puts up with M. Shadow’s derpy nose-singing.
That quote in orange almost gave me severe butt pain bcuz its so dumb but I just remember what the fresh prince says”Ain’t even mad tho”
Jesus Christo! LOL@ him threatening things he will never in “29 Queen of the Damned” (trademark) lifetimes do. Punching a cat? Burning down hospitals? I need Matt Damon to help keep away this tremendous ass pain, Its like a goddamn contagion.
A+ Matt Damon reference. He has all the abilities.
So Tru. Just ask Hawkeye…
As soon as I get the vaccine I’m plowing Damon’s daughter at the living room prom.
I didn’t think it was physically possible to NOT want to grind butthole to “Beez in the Trap.” Prayin’ 4 ur ability to have fun Tristan :(
I prefer “Stupid Hoe” DAT BEAT
THIS THIS THIS. THAT TRACK IS BANGIN’. Such a sick beat. And she looks crazy hot in the video.
I could do without the 2 chainz part, tbh.
While OP is treating his buttboils, I beez in da trap beez beez in da trap.
“i could do without the 2 chainz part” is like the most uttered sentence of 2012 so far.
Back in high school, when my buddies played DMB I was all like “DMB SUCKS FUGAZI’S BETTER.” I knew I had made a full recovery the other day when I tried listening to Fugazi, shuddered at how no fun club it was, and then put on some Michael McDonald.
Dude, DMB is pretty tight! 90s college hippie rock at it’s finest (also see: that one Blues Travelers record). Fagazi sux!
Crash by DMB is one of my favorite songs ever, no shame. Only Fugazi I enjoyed was mashed up with Wu Tang.
This, 13 chambers was awesome but the only actual Fugazi album I like is Intrument Soundtrack because it’s not actually a Fugazi album
oddly enough everyone i knew who jocked dmb were the most uptight butthurt fggts around. right next to the drama kids who just discovered pocky horror picture show and came down with a terminal case of special snowflake syndrome
DMB was the like the last holdout from me being a hater on music. Feels good to be able to chillax and listen to Crash or whatevs without caring.
literally JUST talking about this. her page has been spammed by losers trying to sound profound and funny, but ita just embarrassing.
I winced the first time I read this. Not only is hating nicki minaj an ultra entry level opinion, but you can feel the fedora shaking ever so slightly on top of his head as he writes this.
I definitely pictured the dude in a fedora haha
i watched one of his vids, he actually ends it saying “please respond” (srs)
Couldn’t he just not listen to Nicki?
Carlin had a point about these whitebread, god-awful suburb names…”Tristan,” holy shit, yes.
woops, didn’t mean to comment on yers :( sry bro. anyways yea the fag could just choose not to listen to music that doesn’t appeal to him but being scorched earth butthurt is a lifestyle
TODDDDD
hi, my name is kyyyyyle
HAI TODD AM TUCKER
“According to one of your songs, starships were meant to fly. Unfortunately for you, I know a thing or two about engineering and will remove those wings.”
Come on man, at least try to be witty. I remember that I actually spent a whole summer writing comments like this towards BC13 doe. If anything, it shows that recovery can occur! All you need is a healthy dose of SYWH and humor.
Probably the most cringe-worthy sentence I’ve come across on the internet so far. Had to give him bronze cause that trainwreck can’t be silver.
It’s also dead wrong from an engineering standpoint. Starships are rocket powered. Wings don’t mean shit.
Classic butthurt move is to cleverly dissect the lyrics of pop songs and pretend they have the same importance as in other types of music.
“Run the World (Girls)” 6 writers, 4 producers
“Bohemian Rhapsody” 1 writer, 1 producer
“Starships” 1 wank, 0 fucks
hmmm.. this post reads more like something intended to troll her fans/followers and not the actual expression of a butt scorned. his online persona seems to be that of a ‘zany tr0ll.’ i think the reaction here is a bit overboard.
that said, i would still appreciate it if his license to internet were revoked.
Nicki is like crazy talented. wtf is dis bro talkin about.
I can relate to OP kinda. We’ve all been there. I was actually in that awkward in-between a rock and a hard place. I was into punk and hardcore, went to shows and shit, but did not hang out with “the kids”. No tats. No piercings. Normal hair. Normal clothes that fit. LOL’d at the cliques and remarked about the irony of a subculture supposedly about nonconformity being filled entirely of young white males who all dressed exactly the same.
Yet I also hated all current mainstream music. never danced. Never rocked out to Britney or whatever. The only “fun” music I liked was oldies.. like the Shirelles and shit like that. Still love that stuff. But I’d always be blastin’ music that “meant” something sneering at all the SHEEP blastin’ top 40s shit.
Then one day, I came home and my roommate was listening to Justin Timberlake’s first solo album. And I’ll be fucking damned. It was awesome. Truly buttshakin’ awesome. From then on it’s been a slow recovery away from the butthurt and towards havin’ some fun. It’s actually been pretty amusing when I try to listen to some old album that I used to pretend to like.. say real early Piebald when they were a screamo band, and then quickly realizing how fucking awful it is. Like.. really fucking awful. And then I turn to jammin’ 94.5 and boom it’s Nicki Minaj bringin it. Just bringin it.
I guess what I’m saying is, thank god facebook wasn’t around when I was 16. And there’s hope for those that are truly buttdevastated.
A+. I know that feel bro.
i remember seeing mike patton and dillinger escape plan covering “like i love you” when it was still all over the radio and it was like a zany butthurt event horizon
While this may not technically be your best post, it was probably your funniest. Hashtags were A+ ignorance, back tard
“fuck hatin, get money” – Jesus and BuddhaDying
Brb listening to nicki manaj, who I’d never heard of and would never have listened to, if it weren’t for this extracted sample of pure concentrated butthurt.
<3 <3 <3
“this kid is what’s wrong with america let’s kick him to lame ass canada”
Please god no we have enough a7x fans who hate “fake music” as it is :((
“pass dat fatass blunt nigga” – the virgin mary
well he’s right about one thing, drake does suck
tbh its not like the people he listed dont suck, but thats no excuse for being butthert
whys everyo1 hating on nikki minaj? her music is pretty good yo!
in ne case doe, dat ass has got to be photoshopped yes? http://youtu.be/SeIJmciN8mo (53secs)
She’s got fake tittays and a fake booty. I heard they’re fueled by the butthurt of tr00 fagz.
ultimate guitar is pretty much the pinnacle of butthurt, just check out this article’s comments: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/news/wtf/ed_sheeran_fans_mistake_pink_floyd_hit_for_new_song.html
Now i’m going to get shot in the face for this but here goes:
They assumed this as Pink Floyd isn’t in their music catalogue, which is easily understood.
For example, I watched Manic Street Preachers a few years ago (supporting Foo’s) and they played a cover of Rhinna’s Umbrella, I had no idea this was a cover until they said afterwards as Rhinna is not within my back catalogue, my sister called me a retard for not knowing that it was a Rhinna song until I explained to her that I listen to good music and not shit, thus i didnt know that song.
All i’m saying is let’s be realistic and think about it before jumping on the hate wagon, that’s the same as people assuming that if you listen to metal you worship the devil and want to sacrifice small children to your cause.
dyin
HA! Hahaha!!! Those people are so overly obsessed with the musical tastes of 12 year old girls, it’s actually a little scary.
“Hurr durr Pink Floyd is the only band people are allowed to like herpy derp”
i think it’s more “how dare this person not be intimately familiar with the entire recorded output of this band which quit making music 30 years before she was born”
but yeah, a grown ass adult giving a shit what some 7th grader thinks in really awful
i dont even like nikki minaj but ouch. i hope they took their gaming chairs to the drycleaner to get all the period juice out
ace
yeah, but…they’re right.
MISSING THA POINT 101 WILL NOW BEGIN. PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS.
His buttpain is giving me anal fissures :/
No word on Frank Turner’s feud with Nicki Minaj?
http://www.punknews.org/article/48013
Well, if it’s about her pulling an Axl Rose and being rude to people she’s supposed to work with, then I can’t see anything wrong with him calling her out for it.
I read a headline about that and totally thought he was gonna be an old many yelling at a cloud about her music. Then it turned out to be a reasonable angry observation about treating people like shit that he saw firsthand. Booooring.
AYO FUCK DEEZ WHACKASS HONKEYS THEY DONT KNOW SHJIT ABOUT THAT HOT FIRE JAMS COMIN OUT YA HOT 97 NICKI IS CRAZY LIKE A FEMALE BUSTA RHYMES GOT JAMS FOR DAYS AND DAT ASSSSS FOR WEEKS YO I BET I PROLLY SEEN NICKI BACK BEFORE SHE BLEW UP BUYIN PRASTAMI SANDWICHES AT THE AYRAB CORNER STORE ON GUY BREWER AND I AINT EVEN KNOW IT YO BIGGUP TO JAMAICA QUEENS BLAM BLAM 40 PROJECTS FUCK WHAT YA HEARD YOU BITCH ASS NIGGAZ IF YOU AINTDOWN GIT AT ME DAWG ARF ARF ONE SHALOM PEACE
NIGGAS WILL ASSASSINATE YOUR WHOLE EVERYTHING FOR AN IPHONE
is it bad that when i first saw this i was expecting it to be an apocalypse of minaj’s massive butt, and not just everyday butthurtdom?
search ‘ASSPOCALYPSE’
Uh I listened to that “Stupid Hoe” song to see what they were talking about and it just gave me a boner and I kinda dug the song… Can’t help but think that these people are just choosing mainstream artists to hate based on unconscious racism that’s acceptable because it’s against people with money (hating a sassy black woman, hating a little metrosexual kid, hating big black rappers who have sex)
DEFEND TR00 POP MUZIK
POP, POP, POP MUZIK
EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT
POP MUZIK
haha, that’s not butthurt. He’s just a massive troll down here in australia.
lrn2search
no, just a dweed
“massive troll”
lol @ you guys complaining about his butthurt, whilst simultaneously being butthurt about him.
There’s a difference between making fun of someone and being butthurt about them
but now you’ve got me butthurt about being accused of butthurting :(( this vicious cycle.
Butthurt has no definitions!
Need judge D to sort this out.
I think this kid trolled the entire site. lol
tbh not even a good troll
Nothing makes me more butthurt than this guy though. He’s a supremely unfunny FB troll who hates on popular music because…..it is popular. His YouTube channel is full of self-satisfied rants about how One Direction is terrible and also how ppl who liek Kony are fggts. Mirin ur pinyun brah.
Also there’s one video where he rubs a bible on his crotch. EDGY!
My theory on white dudes who get analpained over her is because she’s so associated with white girls who are yolo as fuck and who won’t let people like the OP stab guts.
On the real tho, I don’t think this dude has ever listened to her. imo she’s pretty awesome at what she does. Also Lil Kim oldfagged out on her and Nicki was just like “lol u just a jelly has-been” in response, and I can back that hard.
LOL at Lil Kim tryin’ to be relevant. sorry girl, your time passed.
Not a fan of Nicki, but don’t feel the need to express it on facebook. Just let people like what they like, no need to call someone out as “untalented” when they’re touring the world and you’re working some entry level job because you decided to be an Art major in college.
To be fair, N Minaj is p shit (Stupid Hoe is p good as prev discussed, and her content w David Guetta is quite enjoyable*)
So far as fem rappers go, all about I Azalea these days, slight misstep w Pu$$y and associated pretension but all other tracks legit
* words I did not think went together before v recently
dat booty smell good doe