L-R: nerd, weirdo, fattie, beta
THE DESCENDENTS were one of my very favorite bands for years, and I thought I would listen to them for the rest of my life like I will BLACK FLAG, THE VANDALS, and 311. But one of the sad parts about growing old is that we fall out of love with things we used to adore when you grow up a bit and realize that the thing isn’t so great after all. For example, I’m afraid I may have fallen out of love with THE DESCENDENTS the moment I realized they were the inventors of FRIENDZONECORE.
IDK maybe back in the 80s these were valid lyrics, it’s hard for me to say (I’m not a history major). But I do know that we’ve come a long way in terms of pop-punk lyric technology– it’s hard for me to take this shit seriously after hearing advanced stuff like FIGHT FAIR’s ‘I know you’re single, cuz I saw it on your newsfeed.’ Check out a few examples and tell me if there is any way I can still be a fan of this band:
This is the ‘patient zero’ of friendzonecore, the blueprint for every song in which a poor asshole who’s been rejected rubs salt in the wound by publicly declaring his love for some girl who is not interested in him. “When he starts to lie / When he makes you cry / You know I’ll be there / My day will come” = cringing with vicarious embarrassment/10
This song is about wanting to save a crazy bish who is out of control and into self-destructive shit. I personally cannot think of any ways this plan could go wrong– she just needs someone who will save her from herself!
“Sour Grapes” is a portrait of a guy with no game who strikes out with some bish at a party, then when she rejects him he gets butthurt and talks shit about her. I feel like this is the musical version of some tumblrbro’s text posts that I screencap and mock on SYWH.
As if their old songs weren’t embarrassing enough, they had to literally write a song about being friendzoned, which even uses the line ‘nice guys finish last.’ And the punch line is, it’s their most popular song :/
Wat do u think?? Do these guys get a pass for inventing FRIENDZONECORE, or is the social cost of their creation simply too much to ignore?? Are you still a fan of DESCENDENTS? Is ‘can I score your test press’ the most advanced pop-punk lyric of all time???
My favorite record of theirs is All. I had no idea that the band evolved into ALL after that until your post about proto-easycore.
I definitely prefer ALL.
Never listened to the Descendents even when I was in my “take-note-and-listen-to-the-bands-that-punk-kids-I-inexplicably-look-up-to-wear-on-their-shirts-and-jackets” phase.
I haven’t clicked any of the youtube videos yet. Is there anything redeeming about these guys that would explain how popular they are?
Well, their songs are pretty fucking great aside from the lyrics. Easily among the best punk songwriters of all time from a purely aesthetic perspective.
I can feel the song writing, but same goes for the lyrics. Is it wrong of me to get super butthurt (mildly annoyed) when I hear something superbeta?!
no it’s not wrong at all– you are just experiencing the same feels I had when i wrote this :/
I honestly feel like the lyrics on the newest album are exceptional. Really honest and at times crushingly sad (here’s looking at you, Motion City Soundtrack), but at the same time funny as hell. Just look at Dry Spell: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dqR-qMLaDk
His voice is gone, just flat, nothing anthemic anymore, same goes for live, super-bummed.
100% of the people i have seen jocking descendants have receding hairlines. Are these guys proto-Ikeacore, or just angrynerdcore (aka SteveAlbinicore)?
brb. stealing SteveAlbinicore
No fucks about lyrical content, great band, great songs. They’re just fun to listen to and they make me giggle about what a loser I was when I was 16 and gives me perspective when I’m feeling like a loser/fuck-up that reminds me that at least I don’t write songs like these (and also that I’m not 16 anymore #tybg). Somehow this combination of factors has made them my favorite band…well that and the fact that their songs are fucking ill. First two LPs are literally perfect.
I always think it’s weird when guys that aren’t in high school anymore get hung up on girls that don’t like them. Like, in school I can kind of understand it because you might be forced to see the girl every day or something, but afterward, don’t you have better shit to worry about?
Not if you’re in a band : /
This is an important caveat– remember, if you are in a band you are still mentally 19 regardless of your actual age
I was about to be like “Hey I’m in a band and I’m not mentally 19,” but then I remembered “Wait, I’m still in a band.”
feels immature man
Dude honestly this is true of me on so many levels its ridiculous, and I’ve known it since way before this comment.
Shudder
Have been thinking the same thing for a long time now. In fact, the only record of theirs I ever really got into was “Everything sucks” because it was relatively new when I was new and the old recordings weren’t as good. I really love the song “Everything Sucks” its a great jam for when you are on your way to school/work and somehow the day is already shitty, but other than that I get kinda bored.
I also feel like this was one of the bands tragically swept up in the modern wave of srs, like when I was in high school they were a fun punk band that “punk” girls liked along with blink 182/etc (see also: no use for a name), but now people treat them like Morrissey.
Even if I really liked them, would not be able to jock/10
Why is there a song on Cool To Be You about getting bullied in high school? If they’re trying to appeal to the awkward-teens-that-get-bullied demographic I guess that’s cool, but I just can’t take a bunch of 40 year olds whinging about bullies srsly :/
Other than that I rly like that album, along with most other stuff by Descendents. Lyrics I can deal with I guess, can’t have everything right?
i fucking HATE Cool To Be You–even when i was young that song was just too whiny and passive-aggressive, and I can’t get past the lyrics. so i understand how someone might not like I’m The One even though it’s a ripper.
YES 100% correct :/
another band i loved(still do) that has pathetic lyrics are the ataris, although some songs are about his ex wife(i think).
so weird how i was just listing to them like literally 6 minutes ago i go on fb and the black flag page post the descendants then i go on stuffyouwillhate and their is a post about them this is getting really creepy
never woulda discovered these friendzonecore kings if it wasn’t for sublime and their cover of hope … I still bump Milo goes to college just to hear “let’s buttfuck u don’t belong here u fucken gay I’m not a loser” that n ” I’d liked to be stereotyped I want to be classified!”… dat riffage(teehee)
wood go to one of their shows/10
they’re playin here in dallas saturday, and i’m so stoked i’ve never seen em before.
I’m Not A Loser always seemed out of place to me, since all their other songs clearly illustrate they ARE losers
Never listened to this band before but they have some serious sand in their vaginas :/
they’re acceptable to like since they had a lot more songs that weren’t “girl problem” related. sadly, all my favorite descendents songs were the ones posted. :(
Poop is a better topic.
don’t care, will jock til the day I die. One of the first non-Rancid punk bands I got really into. Just too damn catchy and fun. Should have included Marriage (prob my fave descendents song): “I don’t want to have sex with you.
I want to be your friend.
I want to be with you.
I want you to marry me.”
But they also have songs about being a pervert and trying to snatch that puss all day every day.
Also, they’re so good that they can get away with homophobic lyrics with the new day social justice crowd and no one cares. Everyone is screaming mr buttfuck you don’t belong here at a Descendents show. At least I hope they still say it and play it live :(
I’ve heard they don’t play it any more due to the homophobic lyrics. To be honest, I don’t blame them, but it’s still a good jam.
This gives me a sad.
All played it back in ’99 (opening for Pennywise I believe? Sick show). I was pretty pumped.
Actually, I’m probably wrong: http://www.purevolume.com/festivals/milo-aukerman-descendents-riot-fest-coffee-new-album/
Milo suggests this song as a definitive Descendents song. Perhaps this part of the song is meant to be sung from the jocks’ point of view?
Now I see why their fans are super betas that are still punk at 30.
I was just listening to Hope on Friday and thinking about how maybe the Descendants needed some SYWH treatment.
I love this band, but as a 30+ professional with a wife and a kid, I can’t really relate to them any more, and when I actually get some time to myself that time is much too precious to waste on whiny bullshit.
I’m sitting here drinking coffee out of a mug (which I just recently started doing), listening to “i’m the one”, and deciding if i want to go back to college. Ouch. At least I’m not in the “friendzone”.
friendzone should not have been in quotes.
its okay brah… here i found a van halen vinyl along with another dad-rock shirt of rush…
;-P
1984?
of course my whorse…. the rush shirt is the tro0o0ness of 2112…we all have to be mnstream together in this!!
To be honest, I think some of their lyrics might have been sarcastic, or at least tongue-in-cheek. This would especially be the case for Hope. I got the sense that the lyrics reflect a guy that has no chance with the chick referenced and he knows it, but he pokes fun at knowing “my day will come.” This seemed more self-deprecating than promoting the friendzone.
And I wouldn’t even necessarily say that the lyrics are the viewpoint of Milo, there’s a few songs where he seems to be taking on the perspective of other people — Suburban Home and Catalina for example. Well, at least I hope he didn’t actually listen to The Beatles and The Doors on his boat…
uhhh.. yeah Catalina was def from his point of view. Jocking old classic rock is a pretty elite hipster play. And yeah, The Doors might be the worst band who still gets recognized as important ever. Just puke.
I figured hipsters (even back then) would choose a more obscure classic rock band, maybe Velvet Underground, The Stooges, or MC5 [insert proto-punk band no one really cared about here]. I could be wrong, but I find it weird that in the height of first-wave hardcore, they would name drop those two obviously terrible bands.
Beatles are fine. Lot of great songs.
I dig some of their early stuff, before they got too srs. However, I don’t think the Beatles have any place in punk. The Stones would be a stretch, but I think even they would be a more valid band to reference.
Beatles definitely absolutely have no place in punk, lol. Good band tho, I only really like Sgt Peppers and select songs from other records. Was raised on this band from birth so can’t help liking them
“To be honest, I think some of their lyrics might have been sarcastic, or at least tongue-in-cheek”
this has always been my running theory, especially for all of milo goes to college. i mean, how could ‘parents’ possibly be srs??
perhaps the idea of “progress” in pop-punk-lyric-technology is a confusion #heavythoughts
Everything Sux/ This Place/ When I Get Old resonates as I am a wannabe adult commuting to 9-5 while my ghey friends are still bike couriers, unemployed, part time Co-op, vegetarians, etc. Becuz I am still ~transforming I donut have a huz, guys r still terrible & I need faqqy pop punk songs about no 2 liking me
they also wrote everything sucks, which if it had a breakdown could probably be the lyrics to a mosh metal band
That is a dope SnapBack do want! Eh as long as there will be even more hot chicks at deathcore shows i back it
lol wrong post breeeeeeh
I have ALL on vinyl. Lyrically they are the hugest pussies ever put to paper. it’s like Milo is in the friendzone so hard he’s there 30x.
maybe being beta is punx?
I feel like that might be part of the whole ascetic.
and, i mean, what band hasn’t put out a few bad songs?
they have a pretty high par to meet every single time.
Also, isn’t milo like a chemist or something?
It’s like the main guy from the big bang theory is in a band
Maybe Descedents, Lifetime, Touche Amore and Title Fight should do a package tour. “Tumblr presents: Defend Chubby Girls Tour 2012. All the best music, you’re not getting laid to.”
lol
headlined by morrissey tho
Never jocked this band too hard, but they are still pretty cool. I can agree the friendzone is a pretty big lyrical theme, but its not their only shtick and they also have songs like “No FB” which go against it pretty hard.
Also, I like that Greg Anderson is visible at :40 in the “I’m the One” video via FriendZoneDrone.
The Descendents will always be one of my favourite punk bands of all times. They definitely were the fathers of friendzonecore, debatably the fathers of pop-punk, and have remained a great band throughout their existence. It is cool how if you listen to their entire discography you will notice how Milo goes from an awkward, nerdy dude who complains about his troubles with girls and high school life, and eventually becomes a successful dude who has to deal with real life issues such as family members dying, and having to raise a family. Things that most people have/will have to deal with in their lifetimes. Back tard.
sargey i think ur 4ghettin that descendents have a very good sense of humor. when they say explicitly a cliche like “nice guys finish last” or whatever they are probably joking
also this is only like 3 songs so who cares\
also “hope” is like blink182′s fav song so defend pap panks
LOL, Top Youtube comment, 50 likes. “My dad used to hangout with these guys. They’re great. I wish I was my dad sometimes.”
the night before they played in Sydney i was at a party and a drunk guy was going on about how much they meant to me and he sang either Hope or I’m the One ’cause he related to it so much
i like this band ok (accidental lifetime ref lol). on a semi-related note, i LOVE jawbreaker and that has, unbelievably, gotten me laid with a non-groce girl or 2.
Descendents are a great band which I will always love. I don’t care at all if they inadvertently invented betacore, friendzonecore, fartrock, Blink182core, easycore, or nerdcore. That has no impact on my love for them. The first tape I ever wore out was an SST sampler that had a live version of “Clean Sheets” on it.
>tfw my my tumblr ask inspired a SYWH article
You’re pretty much spot-on here, can’t really stomach any of their catalogue anymore except ‘Coolidge’ which has ‘you-cant-bring-me-down vibe. Also the drums are great.
Am still astonished they had any sort of post-80′s career.