I joke on here about crushing on girls all the time but the truth is that I am completely in love with my azn and I want to make babies and spend the rest of our lives together. She is absolutely the most important thing to me in the world. But nobody wants to read about me fawning over my azn and the details of our grocery list or the first time I fingerblasted her.
If you are a dude who is ready to be done smashing randoms and wants a waifu, this is post is for you: here’s how I did it, and how you can too. Apologies in advance if this post is super gay and corny, but a bunch of people expressed interest in this topic and after all, I am only here to give the people what they want!
If you are not sure how to act to attract wifeable girls, just imagine that Taylor Swift is watching your every move (don’t worry, she will turn away when you go #2 bc ewwww), and don’t do anything that would make Tay sad ♥
Be looking for a waifu, not hookups
While there are always exceptions to every rule, you basically aren’t going to find a wifeable girl if you are still banging randoms. This is because decent girls think that lifestyle is gross and immature, and are not into guys who live that way. If your head isn’t in the right place, they’ll be able to tell and will shoot you down with the quickness (via having healthy self-esteem and respecting themselves).
I had been banging random crazy girls for the past year and was sick of basically being a huge slut with an empty, shallow life. I was fucking exhausted from dealing with insane young bishes and all the bullshit that goes with them, and made the conscious decision that I would rather be alone than keep hooking up with randoms. It was not easy (because I really really really hate being alone), but I started turning down any girl that seemed like crazytown, and was only checking for sweet, respectable girls who had their shit together.
Wanna meet a kyut OTW who smells good? Forget about shows and dive bars, try the pet store (srs)
Meeting your waifu
This is NOT easy, especially if you aren’t in college anymore. The fact of the matter is that it’s way, way harder to meet wifeable girls than it is crazy bishes. This is because crazy girls’ primary interest is going out and getting fucked up as often as possible, whereas wifeable girls have better things to do than put 5000 city miles on their soul every weekend.
I met my azn at work- we worked in the same department but on different teams. I thought she was cute the first time I saw her, but I was a little hesitant because she has tattoos and that is obviously a bit of a red flag. But one day we all went out to lunch, I ended up sitting next to her and we kind of hit it off- when she told me she was from the West Covina/Alhambra it was pretty much game over (via having a massive boner for OTWs from the SGV/909). Still, she thought I was kind of a shithead at first because I was still flirting with some of the crazy sluts at work a little bit, and she didn’t really let herself like me until I specifically said that I was done talking to those girls.
Think about what kind of girl you want to be with, where they spend their time, and find a reason to be there. It probably won’t be anywhere ‘cool’ or exciting, because normal people aren’t into that shit. The dog park, a bookstore, or Trader Joe’s are where you will find wifeable girls, not shows. Asking your friends to introduce you to people is also a great idea, provided your friends aren’t all fuckups. And don’t be too proud to do the internet dating thing; remember that wifeable girls have just as hard of a time meeting decent guys, so they’re on there too. Just stick to the paid ones like Match.com, the free ones are full of damaged fucking goods and only useful for stabbing randoms. Point being, if you aren’t meeting the right girls, you need to change your lifestyle.
I won’t post a picture of her here for obvious reasons, but my azn looks a lot like this except with giant tits and a scar on her face from when she flipped her car on the 405 (via being an azn woman driver)
Shared interests = the worst criterion for liking a bish
I’ve said this before, but I really can’t say it enough: being into a girl because she likes the same stuff as you do is PURE FAIL. Think about it– if you are reading this site, you’re into some fucked up weird shit, and what kind of decent girl would like that stuff?? Moreover, having your own lives is a critical part of a healthy relationship, so I think it’s actually better if you aren’t into the same stuff for the most part.
My azn listens to indie rock, shops at Madewell, drives a Volkswagen and spends her free time shopping for designer furniture, watching HGTV/Food Network and maintaining her Pinterest (srs). Obviously we are not exactly on the same page when it comes to our interests, but it’s a complete non-issue because who fucking gives a shit what music your girlfriend listens to? That said, we obviously have something in common because her little brothers are into skateboarding, hardcore, video games, and all the other shit I like to an almost spooky degree (her brother’s friend filmed the Xibalba ‘Cold’ video for example).
idk I couldn’t think of anything else to put here so I’ll just include my favorite Jess Bowen video. I’ve never admitted this to anyone before but I think her chunky upper arms are really hot (srs) :( What’s wrong with me??
What DOES matter? Priorities and perspective
The important part is that you both see the world the same way, and value the same things. After like 3 dates you won’t care whether she likes the same TV shows as you, because that’s just a stupid detail. What makes or breaks a relationship is whether you want the same lifestyle– stuff like how often you like to go out, whether you like doing your own thing on Saturdays or expect to spend every second together, if you think about money the same way, and of course bigger stuff like if you want kids or not.
For example, I remember the specific moment when I really fell in heart with my azn. It was the first time we actually hung out, which was walking around and looking at Christmas decorations in our neighborhood (btw, these are the kind of things that wifeable girls are into so get used to it). It was about 9:00 PM- she was yawning a bunch and said “I’m sorry I’m so tired, it’s just that I usually go to bed at like 9:30.” One of the biggest reasons I wasn’t into all the crazy girls I had been dating is because I also go to bed early (when I’m not on an Adderall binge) and was fucking sick of staying up late all the time and hearing them call me boring when I wanted to go to bed at 10:00 because I had to work at 8:00 the next morning. Meeting a girl who went to bed early was literally a dream come true.
More importantly, we just generally see the world the same way, because we grew up the same way: poor kids raised by fucked up immigrant parents in trashy parts of the West Coast. She also used to be a huge fuckup/slut, so if I text her and say “I’m not coming home for a while we got some blow and #yolo” it’s not a big deal because she’s been there too, and has really strong mothering instincts (which is a big deal to me). These are the things that matter, not what’s on her fucking iPod.
Sorry if TL;DR but it’s hard to cover something this complicated in less words. How did you meet ur waifu? Or are you still looking for her?? What is the hardest part of acquiring a waifu for you??? Do you also suffer from chronic brown fever???