I literally remember the exact moment when I realized I was a loser who was taking my life in the wrong direction (I think I was 22 and making like $11 an hour working in printing): it was a sickening, horrible feeling to realize that I’d wasted the last 4-5 years on going to shows, getting tattoos and other bullshit instead of going to college and getting my career on track. I always thought I was smarter than everybody else, that I had it all figured out- so it was a bitter pill to swallow when I realized *I* was the idiot all along.
If you find yourself coming to that same realization, you have two choices: give up and become a junkie/drunk/career criminal like most of my family, or you can man up, admit that you fucked up, and commit yourself to turning your life around. I am not saying that I’m the portrait of success, but I’ll say this much: 10 years ago I set goals for myself about where I wanted to be in life, and I did it. It was definitely not easy to fix all my fucking stupid mistakes and dig myself out of the hole I put myself in, but I did it. Here’s how:
This band = the soundtrack for getting your shit together. I seriously listened to this song so so so many times when I felt like I couldn’t handle it any more and I would get a tattoo of the lyrics to this song if I didn’t already have two Hatebreed tattoos
Surround yourself with good people & copy them
Cut any ties to other fucked up losers and start hanging out with people who have their shit together– and don’t worry about if they are ‘cool’ or not, just focus on finding supportive people who make good decisions that want to be your friend. In fact, they probably shouldn’t be ‘cool’: if someone knows who Gehenna and Death Threat are, that’s a pretty good sign they are a fuckup and that you should not hang out with them. Once you have a good circle of friends, do whatever they do: if they are majoring in finance, you should too; if they hang out at college bars and are in the campus ski club, you should be too. The point is that you obviously have no fucking idea what’s best for yourself, so until you get your head straight your best move is to follow in the footsteps of those who do.
Ironically, this song has some very very bad advice in it (“don’t get stuck on the money-making”), but the basic idea is still valid
Set your goals
Set a long-term goal, then work back from there to set the short-term goals that will get you there. Mine was something like “in 10 years I want to be married, have a kid and own a home,” which meant I had to make up quite a bit of ground. I knew I would need to finish going to college, then get an entry-level job in my field, which I would use to parlay into a senior-level job, which is where I’m at now. I want babies, so I had to acquire a bish who was wifeable and wanted kids– that took a few years but I did that too. There is still plenty of time for me to fuck it all up and ruin my life, but so far I am on track- the key is to always keep those goals in mind, and ask yourself if what you’re doing right now (and I mean NOW- every minute is precious because you can’t get them back) is getting you closer to your goals or not.
Decide where you want to be in X years, figure out what things need to happen in between in order for you to get there, and STICK TO THE GAMEPLAN. Reaching your goals is 90% perseverance. Most people fail because they give up too soon.
It’s important to remind yourself that this is not going to happen overnight. We are talking about years of stupid choices that got you here, so it’s probably also going to years to fix them. Also, don’t bum yourself about by dwelling on your mistakes too much- focus your energy on the future and how you’re going to reach your goals.
Brenda Song = the kind of bish you should be going after (srs, girls like her are way more attainable than you might think)
This is actually a very critical piece of the puzzle, because as you know dudes will do all kinds of retarded shit for bishes. If you’re hanging out with the wrong ones, they’ll constantly pull you in the wrong direction: staying out all night partying when you have a test the next day that you should be studying for, wasting your energy dealing with their dramatic bullshit, etc etc. So, it is very very very important that you get your bish situation in order– mission critical!
But like you said, girls will definitely care about your socioeconomic status. And why shouldn’t they? Why should girls want to date broke-ass losers?? If you haven’t achieved career success yet but want to date decent girls, I’ve found that the trick is to find mainstream bishes who like it that you are a little bit of a ‘bad boy’ but are still sweet. I’m talking about normal girls whose idea of a crazy night is going to the local college bar and doing shots with risque names (‘Give me a double Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, with a lime’) while they sing top 40 songs with their friends, but think it’s cool that you have done shit they haven’t. Look for a girl who likes Fall Out Boy, but only knows their singles. For example, of the highest-quality bishes I ever dated was a Mexi girl like this who listened to Lady Gaga and wore a lot of Roxy stuff– she thought it was cool that I had a bunch of tattoos (lucky for me she doesn’t actually know anything about tattoos so she couldn’t tell how shitty they are). She was a finance major and works for the commodities exchange in Chicago now </3
Important: DO NOT DATE ART SCHOOL GIRLS. AT ALL. EVER. They are a cancer and will do nothing but get between you and happiness (100% srs).
Have you ever had that ‘fuck I think I’m a loser wat do now’ moment? Have you or someone you knew turned their life around?? How should anon start surrounding himself with good people? What are your life goals???