The internet is so often accurate.
Earlier today I went to youtube and typed in ‘easycore music video’ then went to most recently added, and stumbled upon some internet gold. There is this band ‘Escape Plan’ from Michigan, who from their facebook seem like the standard band-of-high-school-kids-who-always-play-talent-shows-and-bug-you-to-buy-tickets-to-the-show-they’re-opening-this-week, and that’s fine and uninteresting. But this song is like the ultimate White Knight anthem, so perfectly executed that it blurs the line between legitimate experience and ingenious satire that took years of study. And luckily there’s a lyric video!
We got everything here, including a couple forced nautical lines like in half of all pop punk songs, non-ironic use of the word “tool”, and the singer dude being friendzoned hard while telling the girl he likes that the other dude he hates is good for her. Ouch dude, come on. I guess they met years ago too, which is supposed to highlight that “they have something special and meaningful”. If the picture at the beginning wasn’t of clearly high school kids, I would think this is such a well done parody of people with the ‘Nice Guy’ complex. And the chorus is so A+ white knight that I have to type it out in case you’re not watching the video and just skimming the page:
“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,
She’s got everything, but a guy to tell her that she’s
PERFECT
Without her already in his bed”
Amazing. Could not be more exact in hitting all the points of a standard White Knight, including bitterness and not being able to see what’s right in front of them. Maybe you shouldn’t tell her she’s perfect until after you seal the deal bro, your answer is right there in the chorus. You’re even like repeating it to yourself. But hey, they’ll learn all of this in college, or potentially far after college if the beta-ness has grown too far deep. Or potentially now if they smarten up and learn from all of these great SYWH resources!
Jenny Marbling on why their song title is bullshit
Why The Friendzone is Bullshit
How to Get Out of the FriendZone
Hopefully they can still get some get some good high school years out of this, maybe become scenecore bros or rappers or dubstep producers and find some nice scene girls or half black girls or rave chicks respectively. Best of luck ‘Escape Plan’! We’re always here to talk and offer advice in the forums <3
Tell em they are good and lovely on Facebook
Be their 20th twitter follower?
BONUS:
Is this the saddest youtube caption ever??
I can imagine him frightened at the thought of moving this video to another channel after it had already blown up, getting a whopping 56 likes. That’s like 27% of its total view count months later, serious stufff. #praying4u
Virginity: The Band
That explains why I really liked the song. :|
So your handle, that’s what, supposed to be ironing or something?
OH MY GOD, A+ lyrics, so glad this is actually a thing. Idk, do most guys in HS go through this awkward WK phase to get girls? It seems like that to me, but idk b/c I was uber-beta back then. HAD to read the lyrics to my roommates too because this shit needs to be spread.
Side-note:
I fuckin’ love that meme, praying4u but where did it originate from?? Pls respond.
I don’t know where it came from all I know is that I got it from Workaholics.
It’s from the wk chronicles somewhere, look it up
sad thing is this is pretty catchy
like when i got into Man Overboard but realized all their lyrics were friendzonecore
Yeah, sounds like a worse version of NFG but still kinda good.
Horrible guitar tone tho
but I feel like if this band kept at it they could be really good in 2 years, especially with a lyrics change
THAT LYRIC VIDEO DOE
Let’s just put it on the table, this is the anti get crazy amounts of pussy while on tour or anywhere band.
goddamn.. look at these granola-faggy looking betas…. i have an urge to beat the crap out of all of em’ on principle alone!!
speshally tyler with his quasi-scene-hair n tiny tim over hya….
im sorry my butt got devastated when i saw the lyric video…
bless this post… i will pray for these future 40 year old virgins =/
Lol @ Non threatening genitalia.
How are penises threatening? They look alittle like a meaty sword I guess.
Something about “rape culture”….whatever the fuck that means
Probably referencing absence of bulge or some such shit I don’t fucking know. Either way, I luled.
ken doll style.
I think it means they have small penises?
These all look like the the kids what would sit next to you on the bus to school and be really friendly but you just want them to go away cause they kind smell a bit damp and only talk about gamecube.
“they kind smell a bit damp and only talk about gamecube”
I’ve come across someone like this, he only talks about Kamen Rider and Kamen Rider fanfictions. Damp smell’s there tho
would have loved this song in hs, cause i sucked.
mirin that manga scanlation font in the lyric video. It’s details like that which really sell that these guys, even if they get laid, will still be virgins.
“youngsters”
assuming these dudes are in high school, this song and others like it will lead to infinite amounts of tail. tr00 punk chicks will be lining up to S some D for these guys. This could be an elite play be them.
It’s like the pubescent corollary to when bands like Dashboard Confessional “really put their heart out there and show how sensitive they are” and then slay teenage tail and get BJs in the parking lot all tour long.
they’ll never get their Ds Sd though because they don’t want to disrespect their female fans with such a degrading act as oral sex! #YourBodyIsATemple
legit had a friend in college who was against BJs cuz he thought it was weird and his explanation was “you’re just fucking a head.” THAT’S THE POINT.
I don’t remember what post it was on, but Sarge used the example of kids who are in your AP English class, like Monty Python, and think its quirky and cleaver to yell out words like “monkey!” or “Cheese!”
I think that is a pretty accurate description for these kids.
+1 pulling a half-black girl
trying to follow my own advice on that one.
Did anyone remember that Adventure Time episode that the Ice King got chicks when he changed into Nice King?
I’m under 6′, have a kid’s face, and I like gray shirts. I even drive a gray truck. Fuck. I don’t THINK I’m a nice guy. Need to work harder at raining on peoples’ parades.
Heh, I think you do just fine pissing in peoples cheerios, at least around here.
Thanks bud. Ruining fun for sappy, overly enthusiastic and sincere people is one of my favorite things.
Needz moar SLAMZ.
These guys aren’t good looking or popular enough to be writing WK songs of this calibre. These guys need to get on a lifting and SYWH reading program ASAP.
the biggest wk i ever met, my ex, killed himself last weekend. i guess he finished first.
……threadkill.
i actually didn’t mean to sound quite so morose. disregard depressing overshare, acquire lololols over “non threatening genitalia”.
RIP WKbro
It really is a serious problem and I hope these young kids get the help they need before worst comes to worst :((((
true biz. no bish (or lack thereof) is worth swallowing a bottle of pills then taking a forever lie-down for. he should have started lifting instead (srs).
That is most definitely a lesson worth sharing, also srs.
Woof @ this dramatic comment twist. F’realz though.
Strong lol @ “be there 20th twitter follower”
no one has yet :/
i’m not doin it tho
I knew Dillinger Escape Plan were totally WKs!
*Dillinger’s escape plans
anxiously awaiting for these bros to show up and start commenting about how they have vodka not even mixed
hopefully that day comes <4
this song speaks 2 me. brb cryin4eva
what about the red jumpsuit apparitions?? they brought friendzonexc to the populars, do u feel like a man?
Although most of us here at SYWH are likely at least 20 or so, in the defense of these kids I just googled them and they’re like 14-15 so they don’t really know any better. Praying they soon will realize the days of straight out of high school > (non-tr00) pop punk glory ended like 7 years ago with All Time Low and these dudes will either A) realize that for 15 year olds they aren’t terrible and pursue a goal of becoming Disney records ghost-writers or B) become dubstep DJ’s, rappers, finance bros, or the worlds first completely mysognyst tr00 pop punk band and troll thousands of 17-19 old tumblr sluts in training across the country by being ‘rough yet accessible’. think if The Story So Far somehow had blatant lyrics like Attilla and only listened to Juicy J.
I feel like we need icons or something for all of us oldfgtz that are 30-40 :(
Ha ha, as I read all of these comments about these four guys, I have realized that most of you have serious issues. Since I know them all, you cannot be more wrong about them. Just four guys (17) having a freakin’ blast in high school. They have plenty of friends, they don’t bully or insult people, they just love writing and playing music. It is that simple.
You guys all have serious problems. I know them and they are the coolest bunch of dudes I’ve ever met. They are literally nothing like any of you described. They also don’t smell “damp” at all, in case you were wondering.
This makes me laugh so hard. The fact that someone took the time to make this is great. Check out our new song! EP comes out soon XD http://www.reverbnation.com/escapeplan2/song/15606563-the-little-things?utm_campaign=opengraph&utm_content=song&utm_medium=link&utm_source=facebook
love the lack of butthurt, good look son.