So many questions about this sweet ride: Did he buy all the stickers first, and carefully lay them out on graph paper to make sure not a square inch went unused? Or did he make a grid based on the most popular sticker sizes on StickerGuy.com, overlay it on a drawing of his 1990 Dodge Ramcharger and meticulously comb the B9 webstore to find just the right ones to fill it? Does he have a specific number of slots allocated to each subgenre (eg, 20% to tr00 pop punk, 30% to pre-2005 B9 bands, 5% to vegan sxe metalcore, and 1.5% to ‘potpourri’), or does he choose bands in semi-real time based on their current popularity on Absolute Punk?
But seriously, who am I kidding, the joke is clearly on me– as soon as this kid pulls up to the club in this whip flossing like he has never given a fuck in his life, his biggest problem is choosing which piece of top-shelf pussy to get up in first.
Fuck; that last paragraph
ryan_gosling_clapping.gif
Surprised they don’t have one of those gay Sea Shepherd stickers so u know they’re vegan, or an Odd Future sticker so u know they’re down with the blacks
At least there’s an Against Me! sticker so we all know they’re down with the trannies and queers
hot water music?? b9???
my IMN brain can only recognize n tell the faggyness of jawbreaker, the tr0o0oness of bane… other then that me no noes n me no carez….
in be4 i make another En-Jay joke on people/ the state of NJ!!
Lets be real, these kids don’t own cars. You know how many NJ kids I’ve seen getting dropped off at shows by their parents in cars like this?
Their teacher/social worker parents let them put stickers all over their cars to encourage self expression and outspokenness.
so glad I don’t like any of these bands, feels good man.
I can just see that trunk being used to stack trays of vegan cupcakes back from an event where the dude only gave out four and ate three out of boredom.
ded @ this entire comment, nailed it
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This guy takes his sticker collection seriously. Maybe hes bro’s with the dude I posted on your wall a couple of weeks ago
top shelf pussy
like top shelf records
huehuehue
Whenever I see something like this the phrase that immediately snaps into my mind is ‘misplaced priorities’
Kid could have saved money and just got a custom sticker that says I HATE SPORTS done at the kiosk next to Cinnabon.
+1
vegan cinnabon rofl yes
Just went to Cinnaholics in Berkley last night after the American Nightmare show in Oakland. Shit was delicious
Whoa there bro, you were in Cinnaholics? Ain’t that shit the greatest? Went there for the first time on a date, loved the fuck out of it.
Thanks for reminding me to go back there (srs)
*went there last week for the first time
NP! Vegan junk food rules, don’t see why people care about its lack of dairy
If it’s one thing that vegans can make the eff out of, it’s desserts via eating their feelings/being depressed. 4real doe vegan desserts are yoos good as eff.
LMAO they’re vegan??? I was too busy trying to set myself up with this bish to notice much of the surroundings. No wonder you mentioned them. Idk, tasted like a regular cinnabon, even better than usual, so I didn’t suspect it.
Then again, after a year @ berkeley, I should suspect all food is vegan unless stated otherwise.
It’s a minivan. Don’t even give him the credit of having something as cool as a Ramcharger.
I don’t recognize any vegan sxe metalcore but I do recognize two of my friends’ bands stickers which is how I knew this car was from NJ before I even looked at the plate haha
Bottom Line (one of the NJHC bands on this van) just posted this on their Facebook so we might soon know whose car this is…
I know pop punk band Bottom Line, is it the same band?
Nah, it’s this band (http://bottomlinehc.bandcamp.com)
what happens when he eventually needs to sell this vehicle? oh, the hours he’ll waste and the curses he’ll toss about when he needs to scrape that shit off by hand because no one wants to buy it as is.
RARE OOP DODGE MOMVAN #001/001 ON GRAY CONVERGE SXE VEGAN JAKE BANNON
A+++++
lololololol
Gold trophy comment award for this post awarded 2 u
But srs who are we kidding? This guy won’t buy another car, this one will break and he won’t be able to afford a replacement. Besides, who needs cars when you live in the hipster part of whatever big city and ride your fixie/vespa around anyways?
looks like my car. my car is also covered in drippy ass mop tags too…
“I want everyone who passes me on the freeway to know how interesting I am.”
His parents are probably annoyed that he stickered up their van without asking first…
I’m sure he won’t regret this in 2 years. I mean would you? He obviously fucks 3-11 bishes on a daily basis with a bangin’ streetmachine like that.
by 3 – 11 do you mean 3 to 11 bishes, or bishes who are 3/11? Because the latter option seems more likely (although rating them out of 11 is a bit odd)
it is hard to choose just one 311 album but if i had to i would say Transistor is my favorite
I’m particular to the blue one (don’t care to google it’s actual name, prdy sure it’s called ‘the blue one’ in my itunes”.
I played an assload of chrono trigger listening to Music, Grassroots, and the blue one. Felt good man.
that feel when I had to look up 311 to find out that they were a band
You need to re-consider what you’ve been doing with your life if you don’t know 311 (srs)
literally the only band i’ve heard of on there is bane and that’s only because they’re a well known hoodie store and because i saw them open for terror and they weren’t really my thing.
they aren’t really anybody’s “thing” they just make crucial merch so hardcore kids jock them
lololol I see an Against Me! sticker
I’d buy that car for the sole purpose of removing each and everyone one of those stickers in front of him and declaring that he is welcome.
ded
all my lols
Would defs take a shit on this windscreen.
Looks like a sticker was removed from the middle left. I wonder why.
I guess one of these bands accidentally had some fun. that kind of thing can seriously piss off their core fanbase.
they were excommunicated from the scene.
Shouts to Jersey
that is clearly a plymouth voyager. much more beta than a ramcharger
i stand corrected
None of those stickers look faded. They all actually look to have the same amount of decay which means he either went to a festival, saved them over time to put them on at the same time, or bought them all from an internet store. If the last is true, he is a tr00 poser and will get no pussy. The scene has spoken. Also, no earth crisis=not Tr00 minivan
The scene has spoken.
untr00-mobile
http://goo.gl/Y5OU2
I’m glad all of this happened.
Oh look Bane!! OMG!!! I JOKER IMO
Oh look Bane!! OMG!!! I LOVE THE DARK KNIGHT RISES!! BANE > JOKER IMO
ya blew it
“BANE > JOKER”
Dude don’t fucking say things like that.
x-D fucking ded
One of the best things my dad has ever told me that I really took to heart was to try to avoid putting bumper stickers on any vehicle I owned.
Also, not sure if you did it on purpose or will pretend you did when like 80 guys call you out on it, but a Ramcharger is much more likely to be lifted, primer black, covered in Pantera, Slayer, Black Flag, Pennywise, Sublime, Mopar and Monster Energy Drink stickers and driven by a Bakersfield trailerparkbro who is probably a little more intimidating in person than the paunchy posicore instagramming neckbeard who drives this van.
No I just mis-identified it– in hindsight it is obviously was a Voyager. I stand corrected!
y u no have exhaustive knowledge of the driving habits of every sub-sub-sub-subculture?
You’re a marketing major, god damnit! Such mistakes are NOT acceptable!
Your dad had to tell you that? Was common sense not in town that day?
Not much I guess, I was about six or seven when I remember him saying that. Around the same time he told me that only fruits buttoned every button on a shirt.
New Jersey plates. Makes sense.
aside from newark, trenton and camden that state really is infested with self-pitying beta fggts (eg Saves The Gay)
Which is ironic, because if anyone had a reason to pity themselves, it’d be the residents of newark, trenton, and camden.
no love for edison??
only reason i know about dat small township is cuz of the book report i had to do on edison and his fucken light bulb in middle school =/
I was born in Jersey and I’m a self-pitying beta, even though I got out of there. Love Jersey bands.
Amaze!
Regular Show stickers. Bitches love Regular Show.
Based on some of the stickers I’m guessing it belongs to an older dude
Olde Tigers sticker threw me off
my guess is some ghey little kid who wants you to think he is an older dude (via ‘being into a lot of rly significant older bands’)
Or older brother who is a sellout and has a real job/gf now hand me down
aww yes the ol’ ” ay lil bro want sum cure, morissey, EB40, rappin’ 4tay, unplugged eric clapton, green day, tom petty and the heartbreakers, vanilla ice, michael jackson and a shitload more of cd’s i don’t use anymore? i also found a beeper if you want it.”
i had this lameness happen to me when he moved out.. i thought i was cool with retro cd’s that arent in print anymore =/
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Holy shit, mirin the accuracy of that 90′s CD dump.
Whenever I see cars like this, which is all the time where I live, I feel like their brain just threw up all their thoughts onto their car.
well you DO live in the epicenter of white foolishness, so special snowflake syndrome must be at epidemic levels there– so many whites all trying simultaneously to conspicuously display their taste in music must be brutal
Yeah, you got to have a sense of humor about it otherwise you will die of ass pain very quickly.
Someone should put some Emmure stickers on there
brb buying various sizes and keeping them in my glove box so i can add them to the sticker grid of the next betamobile i see
You might actually entice more rage from a PETA2 sticker. Now, this may seem counter-intuitive, but most tr00 vegan warriorz I encounter actually profess dislike for PETA for not being radical enough (the real reason, of course, is because PETA is too widely known and therefore entry level).
The trick here is that Emmure stickers would be an obvious troll/prank or possibly even an ironic joke on his part, but the PETA sticker will put him at the bottom of the tr00 totem poll, and will be impossible for him to play off.
I just envision a skinnyfat beardo escorting a 4/10, short haired, armpit haired womynist off to his mobile lair with the intent of digging through her unkempt bush for a gut stabbing session to the background of a Morissey mixTAPE (on acual tape deck via car being old as fuk), only to sink with dismay as she fumes at the PETA sticker, loudly exclaiming “OMG U SUPPORT PETA??? THEY HAVE A COMPLETE EUTHANASIA POLICY ON PITBULLS, I CAN’T BELIEVE I ALMOST GOT IN THE CAR WITH A CISGENDERED SPECIESIST!!!”
Betabeardo smolders with rage, vowing revenge as his potential lay storms off to tell the scene (20 kids at 7generations reunion).
wood do this if still young and motivated by spite
oh dear god no!!
must get… special snowflake.. syndrome repellant…
*grabs nearest benchpress/slayer cd*
yes!!
I’m vegetarian (heading towards vegan), and I hate Peta coz they shamelessly promote the holier than thou attitude that almost makes me ashamed to call myself a vegetarian.
But steak is so fucking good
Vegan here, I don’t remember what steak tastes like but recall it being excellent
Maybe, but not nearly enough for the scene warriors. They aren’t promoting it obnoxiously ENOUGH, and have non hardline stances on certain things, plus tons of rumors that aren’t true about them.
The point is, its entry level and betas dont like that
I bet his mom was pissed when she first saw what he did to the van she gave him when he went away to community college.
wow adventure time or whatever stickers super cool young hip guy
They’re Regular Show stickers, actually, but the differences are superficial. Both shows have two T0t4lly zAnY!!1 main characters and have a fanbase consisting mainly of fedorafags
No CONVERGE or Deathwish sticker?
That was 08-10 from my observation.
Serious lol at the coupe de grace being the new jersey liscense plate
u must be smart!
Fuck. I just noticed this dude has an “Olde Tigers” sticker! They’re from my city! Aaaaaaand they’re like 4/4 gutter-ish punk. lololol. Some of them are nice dudes, though. This dude (and it has to be a dude) has some branding issues with this punk rock sCARap book (tee hee!). I cite his logic being based on the fact that he is from New Jersey. It seems that most kids from that state have an almost super hero-ish ability to just mish mash all the lulziest of music interests.
Also, I’m not a betting man, but I would bet the fucking farm that this car will end up in Gainesville around the end of October for Cut-Off Jeans Convention 2K12.
Also, my friend had a late 80′s Chevy Celebrity station wagon when we were in high school. The back of that beast was sponsored by Epitaph and Asian Man Records. So was my ’87 Cherokee. It is a white suburban male rite of passage.
all im picturing is dem farms in that one movie martha marcy may marlene.
dem wagons n beardo-ness!!!
For some reason I just remembered this GMC Jimmy that I see all the time around Lincoln. Like I saw it parked in front of my band’s old building and I’ve seen it at a lot of parties and parked in downtown, always the same one, that just has this massive Winds of Plague sticker covering the entire back window. I want to know where they got that sticker so I can get one for my truck. I bet I actually know the person who drives it but have never seen them get in/out of it.
tl;dr Winds of Plague is sick and you should stick their logo everywhere
I just can’t imagine ever being so low in life that I’d ever be driving a car like that full of irrelevant bands nobody gives a fuck about and are super-embarrassing to like. Like come on man, you’re driving that piece of shit car, why are you drinking your own piss after everyone else saw you swallow your vomit??
‘Mirin dat NO WARNING sticker though.
Ill Blood goes hard as fuck, and I have a funny feeling many SYWHers would love Suffer Survive (it literally sounds like Linkin Park)
I love and as Sarge said it sounds like hardcore sum 41
Also, would embarrass myself by riding in this and put up with excessive white foolishness for a free ride to Sound and Fury/10
Would sit there awkwardly and not say anything on the way back while some 19 year old beta edgebro lectures me on how abstinence from promiscuity is a fundamental part of the straight edge lifestyle, both of us knowing full well I stabbed the guts of some random that weekend/10
Haha that is pretty funny, if he actually put time into putting those on his van.
Sarge, srs question here. You tagged this “people who will be into indie rock in 1.5 years.” Have you found that a lot of these types ditch punk/hardcore at a certain point then move onto indie rock? Because where I am from (Portland) people listen to all these bands AND indie rock and like both scenes.
There are definitely dudes who pride themselves on putting Sufjan Stevens and Deadguy on the same playlist and pretending it makes them super interesting.
I am not talking about that. I am talking about the fact that most people I know like multiple types of music. Not to be cool or relevant or troo, but when they get into indie they don’t ditch hardcore and whatnot
Obviously there is some crossover between the two genres and some people do listen to both, but yeah– the usual progression is crappy punk/metal -> hardcore -> indie/americana/etc, with their hardcore phase only lasting 2-5 years.
If anyone still has this picture or a link to it could use asap!! Will love you long time!