Joke t-shirt slogan is accurate description of reality
When I look back at my teenage years, I feel like I’m watching a movie about someone who attempted to do every embarrassing thing possible in a quest to alienate himself from any of his normal peers. From denim shorts to fur protests to being vegan, I hopped on every 90s hardcore bandwagon there was to be hopped on, and the results were always regrettable and embarrassing. As you would expect, that includes being straightedge for many years (although thankfully I did sell out at 21). With 90s faggotry becoming more popular every day, I figured I should discuss how dumb sxe is– if I can save even one kid from wasting their youth on being an edgefag, I’ve made a difference!
SXE = just another flavor of Special Snowflake Syndrome
First of all, let me be clear: I’m not saying ‘IF U DONT CHUG 40s, POP PILLS AND BLOW RAILS UR LAME AND U HATE FUN DRINK BEER U FUCKIN PUSSY!!!!’ There are lots of good reasons not to drink or do drugs, especially when you are a kid. I happen to think its a better idea if you DO want to drink and do drugs (in moderation of course), but either choice is cool. What’s not cool is making a huge deal out of it, because making a big deal out of stuff is weird, and being weird is bad. It’s even more weird when your whole identity is wrapped around NOT doing something– “hey man, I don’t fuckin eat macaroni and cheese OK?? Fuck you!!”
Nobody who bought this t-shirt ever stepped to a drug dealer, or even intended to. They just bought it because they wanted everybody to look at them and be like ‘omg u have such excessively strong opinions u must be a rly unique and interesting person’
I’m into plain bishes with no tits and no hips (srs), but the edge is a dealbreaker for me so wood not/10. Also what is up with her disgusting knee.
You see, the truth is that people are not sxe because they want to be drug-free. If that was the case they would simply say “Nah, I’m good” if someone offered them a drink. Like I said in my post about being vegan, the real reason people are sxe is because they are insecure and need some sort of specialness to create an identity around– in other words, they suffer from Special Snowflake Syndrome.
Old ppl who are still sxe = the worst
Like I said, there’s a reasonable argument to be made for not drinking or doing drugs when you are a kid. But when you’re an adult? Staying sxe is a one-way ticket to being a socially retarded weirdo. As someone in a recent comment thread brilliantly observed, “people who are sxe over the age of 25 are always making status updates about $10 an hour jobs, buying records/comics, and other embarrassing crap.” This is because sxe is something that appeals primarily to teenagers, and if you are a grown-ass man who is still sxe that means you are a manchild whose social development stopped at 16.
Wood wear this/10, backed super hard (via the fact that hippies do fucking suck)
This is because if you are sxe, you miss out on many of the experiences that are an integral prt of growing up and social development in this country: going to bars, clubs, parties, and so forth. Usually edgefags will have kind of canned response for this like ‘I don’t like being out of control, man’ but that is all bullshit. The bottom line is that getting wasted, acting like an idiot and having sex with random people is fucking awesome, and you will be missing out on that if you’re sxe. Hardcore shows are fun and all, but not nearly as fun as doing blow off the cover of a Necro CD, fucking some girl you met 10 minutes ago in the bathroom at a party then finding yourself in the middle of the street with no shoes on for some reason.
Don’t let this be you (srs). Put down the HAVE HEART lyric sheet and go hang out at the bar with everybody else. It’s not going to fucking kill you– in fact, you will have a great time. There’s a reason why 90% of the world thinks that being at the bar with their friends is a good way to spend the weekend!
SXE really does mean you have no friends
It only gets worse as you get older. The bottom line is that you will be the weirdo who isn’t doing what everyone else is doing, which is compounded over time. You’ll be the only 30 year old at the office that doesn’t have a story to tell about how ‘I drank so much [x] that I did [y] lol it was like American Pie but IRL’, which means you’ll basically be Steve Carrell’s character in “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” Feelsbadman.
The whole deal with sxe comes down to this: being different from everybody else is not fun, it sucks. Being the odd man out is sad and lonely, not cool. Why make life harder on yourself by deliberately excluding yourself from all the shit that your peers are doing? Why choose to be a weirdo? Why not just go with the flow? Especially since getting wasted is really fucking fun.