Welcome to the fall ’12 SYWH Newsletter! As we all know, fall is a time to don your favorite sweater, snuggle up with your partner, and shove pumpkin into every edible item with the fervor of a porn star with a bad meth habit who is getting paid by the dick.
Some of us may be breaking out our favorite seasonal beer, or working on the perfect haunted house decorations for all the trick or treaters, but I think we can all agree that fall is when white people are at their faggiest.
When you have some spare time between Instagraming pictures of dying trees or letting your Facebook friends know that you’re glad “hoodie weather” is back, here is a fun idea for a neat little weekend activity for you and your loved ones!
This weekend, my partner and I picked apples from our local (locally owned) orchard/farmer’s market. It was exhilarating to park your car on some grass (parking on GRASS?!), hop on the back of a wagon and take a hayride out to a stunningly beautiful locale to pick organic apples. It just made me feel, you know, good to support local, non-evil and quaint farmers that aren’t part of some big, stupid corporation (boo Mondsanta!!! >:()
When the sun came through the tree branches and caught the golden skin of the apples we were picking, it was then that I realized: maybe WE are the ones who have it bad! Maybe those adorable Mexicans who are doing, for a pittance, this activity that we view as recreation…maybe they are the ones who are truly blessed/happy. We live in our houses with roofs and Modern Warfares and Lexi Belle streaming videos while these charming people’s are out there, getting back in touch with Gaia, living in…whatever the Ewoks lived in in Star Wars: The Phantom Mencace…TaunTaun stomachs.
I don’t know about you, but I am a mid-level employee at a PR firm. I have to say that after this weekend, it’s going to be hard going back to the hum drum life of earning an income to support having a house, car, health insurance, TVs, and accounts to access Lexi Belle streaming videos, when those lovely Mexicans are going to be rich in spirit as they pick food for us to keep living our lives! I don’t know offhand how much they make but I’m sure you can’t put a price on a day of getting your hands in the soil and nights filled with dancing and pauper songs. Oh my, just listen to me! It’s going to be hard to go in Monday and not say “here’s what I think of that branding for holistic cat food, Mr. Bossman! You can take this job and stick it where the sun does not shine!”
Oh my, such a tangent. Anyway, if you are looking for some weekend fun for the family or for just the two of you (followed by an evening curled up with some warm cider and a session of quiet, respectful, WASPy anal), I can’t recommend a trip to your local orchard enough. Have a lovely harvest season!
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