Stuff You Will Hate has many running themes: being a chill bro, chilling with bros, solid jams, yoga pants, and wisdom from elders seated in crushing regret. File this report under that last one. Like many of you, I am on Twitter and I follow people who don’t realize/care that I exist and I incessantly check whatever dogshit minutia they’ve twoted onto their twat because existence is a joke. Some of you may know who Cliffy B is. For those who have went out in the sun before, he is a prolific game developer who has had a hand in creating some truly entertaining video games (Gears of War series, Unreal Tournament series). He recently shook up the industry when he announced that he was exiting said industry. He has no immediate plans to do anything else so, essentially, he has retired at age 37. Good for him. He has worked hard, earned a fuck ton of money, and I thank him for all the entertainment he has provided me. So I follow him on Twitter and he twerted a tweet the other day that made my blood boil:
Now, I’m sure Cliff is a solid bro. In fact, I met him at PAX East a few years ago as we both accidentally waited in the wrong line for an Irrational Games community meet-up at a hotel bar. He obligingly made a stupid face for a picture to add to my “I force notable people in the video game industry to make stupid faces for pictures that I will absolutely not jerk off to later” photo album that I think everyone has compiled at some point in their lifetime. I just want it to be known that this isn’t some “fuck teh CliffyBzorz he makes shit games for teh M$ fagbox370!” rant. I fucking hate the stereotypical gamer internet fighting/trolling shit. So with that said: fuck you, dude. YOU won. YOU got into a blossoming industry at a young age back when there still was an economy and were lucky enough to have a hand in some truly great games. YOU didn’t get a job at a Zynga-like company making Ripoff Of Some Indie Title’ville #340; YOU got to live a dream…and that is fucking awesome. But do you know what happens to most nerds? They get friendzone’d 8 to 13 times, gain 70 to 80 lbs. and are found dead in their mom’s basement with a Gundam stuck up their dumper, Naruto wall scroll redeployed as a noose cinched around a doorknob with a quickly cooling load on the adjacent body pillow because working 3rd shift at some assembly line job was too much of a rock’n funzone party to not slip this mortal coil with one last chokerbation sesh.
GPOY
It’s bullshit like “Oh man, you’re a geek now, but just bear with it! Once you’re outta high school away from all these jocks you’re gonna RUN SHIT” that makes the veins in my forehead want to be outside of my fucking skin. Most people quickly realize that life is not a movie sometime shortly after high school or college. Many geeky, nerdy people do not because we have Special Snowflake Syndrome. We’re different or told that we’re different and we think that somehow things will balance out cosmically. We’ll get the girl or guy or anime body pillow. We’ll have the money and success. We’ll be the ones who are happy. And that will happen because…well, we had a rough time in the beginning so it will equal out cuz…magic! What you need to do is take off your “The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth” tshirt, put a bar of soap in it, twist it up, and then beat your fucking face in with it. You will not be handed anything because you were awkward and quirky growing up. Well, unless you’re a girl with that highly marketable Felicia Day-quirk… then you might get to date a dickhead for a year or two and more followers on Instagram than your male counterpart of equal or lesser value.
“I’m just one of the guys!”
Ok so maybe I lost a few of you because I got all “video game-y” on you. Maybe you’re a “music nerd” then. Are you a younger bro/fembro living your life by some code instilled via listening to counter-culture-y music (the real under ground shit)? I.e. sXe, “not being a sell out,” living a DIY lifestyle, or some other folly of youth bullshit? If so, fucking stop. The bands you listen to and look up to are either A. miserable old fuckers who will never be able to retire or B. disingenuous fuckers who learned how to make a business/brand off of creating music for the young people who live by this code we totally know doesn’t work. So it’s either “misery loves company” or “misery makes us money.” Online poker can also make you money but that’s another discussion.
People don’t realize the damage they’re doing with the whole “it’s ok that you’re awkward and lack confidence and you don’t know what you want to do right now” and if they do know the damage they’re doing via “woo rock on nerd pride!” merchandise, they should be put in a machine that mechanically invites them to literally fuck themselves.
There is a game developer that I have a great deal of respect for named Ken Levine. He heads the company that made the game Bioshock, among other great titles. I’m going to paraphrase him in regard to an epiphany he had earlier in his career; what pushed him into a career in game development. He went to a high school reunion and saw that a lot of the jocks and people he loathed in high school were successful people with attractive spouses who genuinely seemed happy. He knew then that he needed to go out and make himself happy; he needed to chase down what he wanted. Nobody walked up to him at a coffee shop and asked to read his script, no record executive was jogging by his garage and heard him and the rest of the Zack Attack practicing, and no one came into his dogshit office job and asked him if he wanted to do what he loved for a living instead. Basically: the people you hated in high school, the people that picked on you, a lot of them are probably out there being successful because they always had confidence and they always won.
Sharks sheep etc.
I knew a guy in college who was a total fucking cunt. He had that “I know I’m headed to the top and this is just one of the steps on the way” attitude and he treated everyone like shit. Towards the end of the semester in a journalism class we both had, during a presentation he revealed that one of his parents died while he was young and so he had a harder upbringing than some and that might be why he is the way he is blah blah etc. So rather than anyone say “well that sucks but you still chose to be a dick,” many of the PR majors (aka girls) who were cursing his fucking eyes for saying some misogynist shit a week or two before were welling up at his story. I mean, you can get a PR major to well up by walking up to them and going: “one time someone died,” but I digress. So, dude is a successful journalist now. No one punched him in the neck for being a condescending dick to everyone. No one questioned the fucked up nature of using family tragedy as a dramatic reveal to be like “you thought you had me figured out, strangers in my journalism class… but look how multi-tiered my brooding depth is!” He’s going to be fine and you’re painting miniatures and waiting for any moment now when Blizzard or Bethesda or…fuckin’ Kairosoft is going to email you a job offer because they just happened upon your deviantART and they just fell in love with your badass sketches of skulls n’ shit.
This isn’t some stangry old man “kids these days want everything handed to them” entitlement rant. I think those people lost the script and are too dumb to realize that “that guy’s an asshole because I’m jealous and want that guy’s money” and “that guy’s an asshole because he thinks he deserves that much money” are two different viewpoints. Unfortunately, money absolutely buys happiness. You have to look at it as a voucher/pass system: “I have “x” amount of money so that allows me “y” amount of time/resources to do what I like. What I’m saying is, if you’re a nerd bro in high school who is reading this: be selfish with your happiness, think about what you want to do and actually fucking go for it. Don’t half ass it. Get some confidence but don’t be a dick. There are actually a bunch of nice people out there who will want to hire someone who isn’t a fucking handful. If your guidance counselor is telling you that it’s ok that you don’t have an idea what you want to do for a living yet, that person is a hack failure. If you are unlucky enough to not be good at math, science, or businessosity and you have “creative type” leanings, BUILD THE FUCK OUTTA THAT PORTFOLIO. Write, draw, record, film, and edit like someone’s going to put a bullet in your head if you don’t. If you’re a college bro, figure out your fucking major and don’t choose a bullshit one. Go out and get real world, hands-on experience, intern the shit out of the situation. Know what you want to do and get through school as quick as possible because those student loans are going to fuck your holes.
You’ll have to take jobs posing for shitty stock photos. PROTIP: You spent too much time on your arms, brah. Curls are for delicious fries from Arby’s. You look like Rumble from Transformers.
Have a plan and then work towards it. Not everyone will succeed. But at least you can condescendingly look down your nose at all the cowards who never even tried. Elder SYWH statesmen like myself (and all the genuine fucking gospel that Sarge has been preaching for years) are pulling some real dad shit by laying on the “learn from our mistakes” shit pretty thick. But we grew up in a really fucked up time with grunge, and PC scene police, and not trying because trying is lame. Since everything 90’s is coming back, I wouldn’t be surprised if that shit came back too. There is nothing wrong with trying and there is nothing wrong with setting goals and chasing them relentlessly. I have a soft spot for awkward, nerdy people because I think being unpopular and being an outsider can make a person have to try harder and develop a personality that is interesting and a soul that is kind. Kids who are popular, confident, and attractive don’t have to learn how to be funny or talented or kind because there’s no fucking need; the world is going to hand them most things because they’re already part of the club. If you’re a younger person (fuck I sound like I’m 60) and you read this site, chances are you’re on the right path. You don’t take yourself too seriously and that is so, so important. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Just don’t be a dick and don’t think that because you like Doctor Who a bunch, things will start going your way one day. Disregard pandering “teh nerdz win in the end!” bullshit, acquire a career, confidence, cash n’ ass. Do that and your mom won’t have to sob as she undoes the sadnoose while coming up with a less lulzy way as to how you took your own life to tell the police.
Jokes about Skyrim and ejaculate to return soon…
Come be a sad old man with me here.
Turn me into someone who doesn’t care about his pleb followers here.
So basically if you’re not the cool kid in high school, then the rest of your life is going to be a miserable failure? Well fuck, that’s the most depressing thing I’ve heard in my entire life.
Cool kids in high-school end up dead at 28 from a DUI or become burnt-out losers. He’s talking about the outgoing people who are unknowingly (or in some cases knowingly) learning about influence and maximizing their social connections.
Going to have to go ahead and respektfully disagree with ya thar. Most of the fuckup losers I knew in high school are still fuckup losers. Or dead fuckup losers (redundancy is redundant!).
A generally acceptable rule is – did you go to and graduate from college (with a real degree, like a bach in marketing/business/engineering/etc)?
If yes – your life is pretty sweet.
If no – your life is not pretty sweet.
My point is this- higher education is the great equalizer. Go to college, get a degree, get a job that pays enough for you to not stress about rent/bills/etc and you’ll find yourself much less likely to be found in dead in your one bedroom apartment three days after the fact.
Mind you, it’s not the end all- I know people that went to and finished college that don’t have jobs and are losers (though they’re generally lazy fucks) but if you don’t have the mentality that things will just be handed to you, you’ll be OK.
no the point is youll end up as a miserable failure if you don’t try and relentlessly chase your goals since nobody is going to hand it to you. [because you werent the cool kid in hs]
High school is primarily a means to develop yourself socially. It’s never too late to do that, but you need to be proactive.
The rest of your life isnt necessarily going to be a miserable failure, its just not going to be as easy as the ‘jocks’ or whatever. You’re going to have to try a lot harder. Like he says, there is no ‘social karma’. Nice things aren’t gonna fall out of the sky just because your life was awkward/fucked up for a while. Recognize that, deal with it, and start putting one foot in front of the other.
One with the underdogs.
[insert slow clap here]
“Basically: the people you hated in high school, the people that picked on you, a lot of them are probably out there being successful because they always had confidence and they always won.” = FUCKING TRUE.
Idk, as a college kid, this was honestly one of the best posts I’ve seen on here in a while. Thus concludes my sappy ramblings. Carry on.
“Basically: the people you hated in high school, the people that picked on you, a lot of them are probably out there being successful because they always had confidence and they always won.” = FUCKING TRUE.
I don’t know about this either. Seems when people are truly feeling confident or successful, they usually don’t come across as douchebags in person, and don’t pick on those they perceive as weaker either. That kind of behavior seems more like bluffing. Even douchebags who are perceived as successful in every pursuit still look like they’re compensating for some deep-seated insecurity, or they lack empathy, which is a major character flaw.
Many people who were shitty in high school grow up to be better people via getting perspective of the world, going through hardship themselves, and gaining empathy. It’s just that, initially, being callous, mean and superior can create confidence just as easily as pride, honor, discipline, and healthy living can. So some people have the tools much earlier than others to get a jump on “the real world.”
Some people are shitty judges of character and can’t tell the difference between confidence and douchebag shark who would sell his mom for a promotion for the promotion’s sake. So lots of shitty people succeed. But, lot’s of nice people succeed…haha there ARE a bunch of people on this rock. This is for younger people who are a bit more timid to realize that no one is going to stop and ask if they’re ok, they have to go and get shit done.
This is both good and lovely albeit fuggin’ long. I agree with p much everything you said here, socially awkward nerdy shut-ins will have a difficult time IRL.
If I could go back in time and have a sit-down conversation with my teenage self I’d impart just how IMPORTANT building that network is. Guess what, maybe that “jock prep asshole” in your 2nd period isn’t “your type of people” but 10-to-1 I bet you two can find a common subject to joke about and befriend. When he gets his ACL ripped out a yellow-shirt at Stanford, he’ll probably focus on that Finance degree. Guess what if you kept in contact and added him as a cog in your network, he might just come in handy 15 years down the road when he’s managing a $25b hedge fund. Basically, being socially inept is NOT something that’s qUiRkY anD UniQuE it’s basically a death sentence for the real world. That whole “it’s all about who you know” phrase is 10000% accurate so USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE and BUILD THOSE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EVERYONE YOU CAN. Don’t hate the player, brah, in fact, don’t even hate the game, recognize that IT IS a game and one you can win if you set yourself up to do so.
wat.
Toeni pls
The importance of networking cannot be overstated. True facts.
all kinds of good advice here.
all kinds.
There are two types of nerds. The one that are crazy about math and science, and the ones that are crazy about D&D/music/art/videogames.
It’s pretty obvious which ones end up with the money and success.
This. Not too bash anyone here, but the younglings just assume that if you are a nerd / geek / you are automatically less of a human being and that being alpha and cashing that 30k monthly cheque requires one to be full on jock bro banging 9.9/10 bish 24/7. But in all srsness chances are 50 50 for either the quarterback jock bro or the socially awkward nerd who’s into math, science and does youtube videos for his weekyl NECA / MAC FARLANE action figure reviews. People grow out of phases. Jock bros dont stay douchey forever and the same goes to nerd kids. Networking and connections are important but if you can’t deliver you’re going to have a hard time at work either way. Essentially you have to be good (or extremely good more so if its the creative field) at what you do, be it marketing, engineering, or designing. Its all about hardwork and how much you are willing to sacrifice to get a good stable job and succeed in life.
Actual nerds have a shot after a miserable high school experience because they’re smart, and with hard work can land a sweet job and get paaaaaaaid. Just socially awkward losers into comic books with no abnormal intelligence or creativity or anything marketable are probably just fucked forever.
I totally read most of this.
Haha yeah those who are good at math or science or programming etc. are just blunt instruments of destruction when it comes to employment. Those are skills that not everyone has and it is mostly a raw talent based field (though I wouldn’t be surprised to see some Thad bros get networked in to places that normally require a 3000 Beta Omega on your SATs).
The latter group can be in for trouble. It is easy to become engrossed in those worlds; to lose yourself in comics and games etc. Those people are the target of this post.
I’m surprised anyone read this.
Another thought. Even though social intelligence does not = technical intelligence, people who are actually technically intelligent are more likely to become socially intelligent later in life or at least learn to fake it because their deductive reasoning skills will eventually give them AHA moments on how to handle social situations better. For example, many of the math/science nerds start banging hot bishes in their mid-late 20s. Just speaking anecdotally of course
Strong post. Didn’t even feel long via be interesting coughimlookingatalotoftheotherrecentreadthreelinesanddisregardinputcough
Everything’s going to be ok Jorbam. You are good and lovely. You have the ability
This was very good and I agree with it 100%. I am an old guy who spent my teen years during the 90′s suffering from special snowflake syndrome. I was awkward, full of anxiety about everything, and was completely socially retarded. I embraced these characteristics (instead of fixing them) and made myself even more special by becoming a vegan, sxe, tr00 till death warrior. I wasted my life on that bullshit for about 12 or 13 years. I achieved NOTHING during that time period. I dropped out of that scene with no friends, connections, or social skills. Also, during this time period, I found out that all the people I hated from high school had normal lives and were successful and doing wayyyyy better then I was. I ditched the special snowflake bullshit and I am now slowly getting my act together. I guess my point is…if you read this post and you are young and it describes you, MAKE A CHANGE (or MAKACHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!) STARTING RIGHT NOW. Being old and trying to fix the mistakes you made in the past COMPLETELY SUCKS. Building connections and overcoming social anxiety and poor social skills in your 30′s is WAYYYY harder then in your teens. Trust me on this shit. That is all.
So I guess I have a clone wandering around out there. You make an excellent point via “take preventative action now.” It’s just like having a shitty diet: it’s so much easier to have discipline and never gain weight than to work off a gut.
It’s amazing how many people in this comments section sound like parents pulling the “listen to me. i know. i’ve been there” card. But it’s so fucking true.
Yeah…I definitely felt a little weird when I was telling my story but I honestly hope that younger people read your post (and the replies) and try to make a change in their lives. I wish I would have had someone saying this stuff to me when I was younger. I got no support from family (or the few friends that I had) and I am guessing that a lot of people who come here don’t have that either.
Your remarks about a shitty diet are also 100% true. I am going through this as we speak. Over the last 5 months I have dropped 30 pounds (I am built like a stick but I had a gut and a fat face). I have about 5 more pounds to go and then it is muscle building time. I have been tracking my calories and one day, for fun, I worked out what I would have needed to do to prevent gaining the 35-40 pounds in the first place. I discovered that all I would have needed to do was walk for 1 hour at a brisk pace 4 times a week. Maintaining weight is way easier then losing it. I am SOOOO SICK of going to bed starving at night and eating small meals and working out 5 or 6 times a week (instead of 3 or 4 for maintenance).
Fuk dude, same boat. Haha hence the analogy that is too spot on to not be personal experience. Very scrawny/fit through high school. Then Halo LAN fests/lack of discipline/decaying metabolism happened in college. I never got huge but definitely became a “husky bro.” I’ve lost a good bit of weight and am making choices less for aesthetics and more for “your cholesterol is pretty bad, fucking change it, I’m a doctor” so I’m not quite back to being a Fuck Adonis, but I’m headed in the right direction. Absolutely know that feel of “uuuugggghhhh I could have done this the easy way, but no, 30′s gut/flop sweat after a brisk walk FTW :(.
Haha but it’s all good. Will be makin’ teh Sarge jelly/10 before I know it.
your cholesterol is pretty bad, fucking change it, I’m a doctor
lololol
As someone who worked in a nursing home taking care of people with Congestive Heart Failure who were like 40, I’m very glad to hear some people actually listen to medical professionals and improve their health.
A+ article dude, you’re fucking great!
I sorta came to realise this pretty recently. Life isn’t fair to anyone, it’s a mixed bag.
Some have it all from day 1. Some don’t.
If you’re one of the people that are having a hard time, you gotta work hard to even the score and be successful, there is no other way. Go hard or die trying.
buttfrustration levels in red zone
Can I live love and preach the DIY lifestyle while still not taking it seriously? Srs question. One I’ve pondered a lot lately. And predominantly due to this site.
Not if you want adults to take you seriously :( Doing stuff on your own is one thing (obviously), but as soon as you start talking about/’preaching’ ‘the DIY lifestyle’ nobody over the age of 25 is going to take you seriously (sans losers and people in arrested states of emotional development) because nobody in the real world really gives a fuck about ‘DIY culture’.
Thanks uncle Jorbams, this post is great! i’m turning 21 next month, what i have been feeling lately is a real sore spot for being a teen again, now that i’m entering a new life phase it seems iv’e been trying so hard to hold onto the good teen years of my life that i didn’t live to the fullest due to being a socially awkward/ self conscious twat. so it goes, after high school i started working doing all kinds of entry lvl jobs but just getting out there in the real world working/ socializing a ton with strangers, iv’e gained at least 80% new found confidence and working my way back on track. I have met so many wonderful people along the way, only now am i beginning to actually feel the importance of this, of finding some kinda dream, some kinda goal to work towards, yeah man it’s fucking hard trying to figure out what you really want to invest your time and efforts into doing/ becoming and its so much easier just sitting around behind your pc playing a ton of sick rpg’s and being in a happy bubble of no life xp. But no sir, it sure ain’t worth looking back 10 yrs later and living in the regret of not achieving what you could have. This is an advantage and i sure hope every SYWH reader in this present situation will find the motivation from this post to get up and go find some dreams before they’re all we can see.
im sry but project eternity and wasteland 2 would like to speak wit u in about a year-yearandahalf :>
“its so much easier just sitting around behind your pc playing a ton of sick rpg’s and being in a happy bubble of no life xp”
If you realize this, you’re going to be fine. It’s easy to burrow down into a world involving you, your bedroom, a console/PC, and a bunch of Mountain Dew “Gamer Fuel.” But it is also easy to just go get fast food every day instead of cooking yourself a meal that has something green in it. Most good things are worth working for (lvl 10 Dad Thu’um right there).
You’re on the right track in getting out there, meeting people, and being chill. I don’t think people should stop with their nerdy habits/hobbies, it’s just about moderation. I fucking love video games but they are, at the end of the day, entertainment. Unless one is considering a career in them, one shouldn’t devote as much time as one would to a job per week towards them. And if you are, it shouldn’t be working on getting your k/d up in Cutie on Duty, it should be learning Unreal Editor or 3D Studio Max or some shit.
Don’t think your back is against a wall and its literally do or die. The fact is, it’s never too late to make changes in your life, it just gets exponentially fucking harder as the years go on.
I read this entire post, and it’s fucking spot on. Us nerds are always told that somehow they will be successful when they get out of high school regardless of grades or skills because somehow the real world isn’t going to be full of the same people who shunned them (for good reason) in high school and the people in charge will just assume you must be one of the best and brightest because you own a 3XL Macross saga t-shirt. Truth is some people are destined to spend all of there walmart paychecks on manga about 13 year old queefing fox princesses and body pillows and if they’re lucky, maybe, just MAYBE they’ll get to have sex with that one cashier who always carries around a sketchpad full of naked horse people she traced off the internet.
Gonna be kinda srs for a second.
Some people just don’t have the ability and are never going to be good and lovely. But this site has given some of us a shot at it. I’m not going to pretend I’m some sort of success story and that since finding this site I’ve completely turned my life around, but if it hadn’t been for this site, I’d probably still think that my shitty life was the world’s fault and not my own. This site, when not telling me about sweet new jamz and hot bishes, is a constant reminder that I need to have more confidence, dress better, not have such excessively strong opinions about shit that doesn’t really matter, and all around stop being the beta faggot I was in high school. (Also, the idea that getting a normal job isn’t lame, being poor is lame. That’s been a biggie for me personally. It’s part of what got me to switch out of my worthless fine arts major.)
Srry 4 going full fggt guys. it’s just cuz i <3 u so much.
<3
hola mami ;-D got any kewt blonde amigas in your softball team or volleyball team bb? plz respond =P
Santana(feat. Rob Thomas)-Smooth.mp3
Are these overly direct approaches to females on the internet supposed to be what we are learning not to do on SYWH, or is this an example of confident alphaism? Or perhaps this is just some good old fashioned DGAF trolling? Only one thing is certain, and that’s me overthinking a blog comment.
I am confuse plz respond
Solid post.
The part about douches ending up happier = gospel truth, even more so for UK bros competing against the consequences of the Blair higher education boom of the 2000s.
Studying for years to end up the same as everyone and working in a call centre = shortcut to stranglewank oblivion.
“Winning isn’t easy. If it was, losers would do it.”-Juicy J
This post has reminded me to not slip back into being a negative bitter fggt (which has been a struggle via working retail) so ty
dude disregard retail and acquire a useful degree brah…
full-time retail is for chumps that think they’re kewl living in a 1200$ one bedroom apt with a baby on the way =P that or stupid ass milf moms that work on the makeup counters and loser bishes that were teenage moms/don’t wanna open a goddamn book and try to bag one of dem socially awkward successful nerds described above….
trust me i used to work in retail… fuck the loserness!!
This is an extremely accurate picture of retail “success.”
Gross + depressing
Goddamn I love Cliffy B. Dude has a srs passion for game design and it shows in his games, people always have a bitch about Gears Of War being jock dudebro garbage, but underneath the aesthetic it’s one of the most perfect series of game mechanics/systems since Super Mario Bros.
As for the article it hurts a little bit because I’m one of these fggts who complain about the world around me being unfair and shit but even though I see how fucking stupid I’m being I still can’t bring myself to figure out how to achieve betterment. I gotta no disaprin
this was amazing.
“because existence is a joke.”
my fav quote
Good post. I will not allow myself to get some dead, low paid job. If I have to pretend to be like the confident bros who no-one really likes then so be it. After effing up school last year, I have a chance to make things right by retaking the year (v. grateful to my school for letting me) and I will. Although it gets harder ever day to achieve my goals in life (go to uni of choice and do comp.sci, get good programming job, get a family) thanks to the right-wing bastards in charge raising tuition fees, I guess I’ll just have to adapt. I’ve had enough of blaming everything but me.
Don’t look at it as “pretending” to be like someone or you’ll grow to hate yourself. Confidence and “playing the game” isn’t owned by one demographic of people. Confidence isn’t reserved for those with abs.
Find out what your strengths are (if you’re going to school for comp sci, that is a strong choice), become someone who is pleasant to be around, don’t be a dick, and keep your goals in site and you’re going to stack the deck in your favor. Also, I can’t understate how attractive a programmer who also has a fucking personality would be to an employer.
thanks bro <3, will keep this in mind.
i love cliffy b, all the hardcore gamers (IMNs) fucking hate this guy because in the end he is pretty much everything they want to be. he is what this sites about haha. also no doubt he’s gonna post something like that, those kind of kids who get a little bit happier every time they see some pro-nerd/geek/dork stuff are the people paying his bills.
“What you need to do is take off your “The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth” tshirt, put a bar of soap in it, twist it up, and then beat your fucking face in with it”
goddamn this, i fucking hate this whole “nerds are cool/naturally successful” mentality because honestly its just fucking not true. There’s nothing cool/successful about being 300lbs and having a quarter of your life span logged into Everquest and there never will be. What fuels this rampant stupidity is that people are now trying to take the most basic of interests and brand themselves as nerdy with it *Cough* DOCTOR WHO *Cough* in some sort of weird (but honestly rather fascinating) desire to belong to a group that they actually don’t want to belong to.
There’s no karmic wheel to spin back your way just for being a nerd in school.
There’s no one who is going to be impressed by your collection of swords.
And you’re never going to stab the guts of the girl that wears the “I love geeks with big hard drives” shirt unless you actually have the confidence and social skills to nail that woman.
Life’s not going to gladhand you anything other than a sharp decrease in your lunch monies for being a nerd, you have to wise up, get dem social skills, and make life your bitch if you want that success/coolness. Life ain’t a three act movie :(
people are now trying to take the most basic of interests and brand themselves as nerdy with it *Cough* DOCTOR WHO *Cough* in some sort of weird (but honestly rather fascinating) desire to belong to a group that they actually don’t want to belong to.
SEE ALSO:
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=youre_not_a_nerd
It is a pretty weird cultural phenomena, I wonder what started it (srs)
It’s all about trying to change shit. If you’re a nerd or any other type of outcast it’s about fighting the urge to be a pussy and start making good things happen. This post should also be read with hatebreed playing in the background.
This post should also be read with hatebreed playing in the background
http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/2012/09/life-advice-how-to-stop-being-a-fucked-up-loser-and-get-your-shit-together/
I think this argument is a little too black and white. No, nothing’s going to magically work out for you because you deserve it because high school sucked for you, and blaming your shortcomings/fuck-ups etc on someone or everyone else is self-defeating. But these are also natural coping mechanisms in some situations, and busting someone’s balls for having a reflexive emotional response immediately after a failure or misfortune, while it may be intended as “tough love”, might come across more like kicking someone when they’re down.
I think one of the most important things to keep in the back of your head, which of course is also one of the easiest things to lose sight of; most of the people around you don’t have jack shit figured out either. This includes the people with trappings of success, high social rank, and people much older than you. Not that you shouldn’t try to improve yourself (throughout your entire life), and learn from those you admire, but understand that they’re fucking human just like you, they put their shoes on the same as you do in the morning, and they carry the baggage of a multitude of shortcomings and insecurities, just like you.
Indeed.
Empathy is one of our most valuable human traits.
Haha well we’re talking about humans here so to get it more grey I’d have to ramble on for much longer than I did already and also my psychology degree hasn’t come from University of Phoenix yet because their one dot matrix printer got jammed.
I wasn’t trying to be as much “tough love” as I was “rallying cry.” We have this underlying theme of “things will balance out and you will be rewarded for being a shy, polite person and those that were bullies and dicks will get theirs.” This is thought of as a hands-off phenomena that will happen on its own. It’s not. We shelter the more “sensitive souls” with this when we should be giving them guidance and strength.
You are exactly right about empathy and if I would have rambled on for a few more pages of internet, I would have gotten to it one way or another. I believe that is what is wrong with our country at the moment. “Well, the 10 – 15 people I know in my small fucking town in the middle of the country ain’t hurtin’ any so what do I care that some city fag can’t make ends meet?” is a cancer on modern society. We don’t have to become NPR tote toting bleeding hearts but we could maybe work on not being so callous.
Also, yes you are right on the money about no one really having everything “figured out.” I am of the opinion that 98% those employed at whatever job they have are just sitting there hoping no one ever has reason to run a magnifying glass over how incompetent they are that their job.
Was totally expecting “LOL U BUTTHRUT IMN?”, appreciate the thoughtful response. I agree, “everything will work itself out” is at best a way to cope with immediate distress, like an emotional band-aid (felt really gay typing that), not a way to fix the much deeper flaws a person needs to eventually overcome.
One more thing though, I have strong anecdotal and utterly biased evidence that there is a strong correlation between good networking skills and being a bullshit artist. It’s possible I’m being a hater because I’ve never been a good at it and when I’ve had to network with people to build connections it’s always given me super strong douchechills.
This site is one of the few places on the internet where I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt to have a discussion with and not immediately go on damage control. If you level valid, well-spoken (typed?) critiques, I want to talk to you just as much as someone who praises me.
Your 2nd paragraph there absolutely has validity to it. But it is one of those: “All bullshitters are good networkers, NOT all networkers are bullshitters” things.
Of course being able to talk about everything while saying nothing is going to be invaluable to good networking skills and you can be disingenuous as fuk and most people won’t be able to tell the difference. And a lot of people do that because a lot of people are vain and selfish. Luckily, you can learn the art of conversation and then mean it when you talk to people. Controlling a room and being warm, witty, and interesting don’t have to come from being a jockbro who was already half-connected via being the son of his father… I think the golden rule is: lift others up along with you. That’s the kind of networking that is going to have legs, not smiling while shitting on your equals/lessers/betters on the way up only to tumblesuck your way back down. You don’t have to become everyone’s BFF (that’s logistically impossible) just be positive, polite, and professional with everyone you meet.
Networking doesn’t necessarily have to be shallow. The empathy you bring up in your OP is in fact a great networking asset: taking a genuine interest in other human beings. It’s not necessarily about consciously thinking “who can I meet that I can exploit later” but rather “I like meeting other people, and if we happen to have skill sets or connections that compliment each other nicely, that’s a great reason to continue to hang out and shoot the shit once in a while”
Signed,
A college dropout who networked his way into a six-figure job
At fiest it started out all butthurty. Then…. Then I felt inspired to try harder then I already am at leif. Srs. Also networking with ppl is probably one of the best things ever. For anything. Make sure you got a guy/girl for almost everything that could possibly hook you up.
I am the archetypal geek who will be running shit in 10 years time/modesty. That said this ‘geek’ ubermensch should not include weak beta tendencies, loving children’s games or computer games. The last one especially is something I love but is a waste of your life. Become smart, get cultured, learn history, maths, economics, and programming.
Everything in life is a competition. Crush your enemies.
USA #1
This article is srs. I was the biggest beta of all time in high school. I think I made a total of 3 good decisions throughout those years: starting to run, starting to lift, and starting to drink. All of these came in grades 10-11 (11 being the final year in Quebec). I was an actual smart nerd, but I got mistaken for the type-2 because I was low-key. Now, I’m doing well with my life, but it’s purely because of a commitment to making myself better. My motto is always “I can do better”. I’ve got a 4.0/4.3 GPA, and it’s not enough. I lift whenever I can, and I don’t lift enough. I have a path set out before me. It’s foggy, but I know where I want to get to.
Should there be a guide on choosing a major in college? I feel like I could co-write it, as I’ve seen what kinds of people succeed.
Do it!
WOULD READ/10
Nursing major seriously reconsidering but have no idea what else to do
Dat inspiration feel. Thankyou sir.
Feeling the positivity.
On a related note, check out the movie “World’s Greatest Dad” starring Robin Williams. NOT a comedy. It astutely touches on social status and it’s parallels in High School and the adult world, the deferring of your dreams, and the comedic tragedy of a teenage scumbag dying from autoerotic asphyxiation (srs).
5 star post!
This is gonna be a tough act to follow…
upvote for that movie
Will netflix/10
but only after I’m done laughing at your A+ post
Great post, bro! Basically, nobody is born entitled to an easy life, you have to earn it. Back tard.
I’m going to throw in a very simple way to for the special snowflake type, awkward and/or nerdy type to gain some self confidence. Join the damn military out of high school. I don’t care what branch or job you pick, just do it. Trust me from experience you will gain maturity, work ethic, respect from others and I can promise you once you leave (to hopefully use the GI Bill and go to college) you will know without a doubt that nothing and no one can stand in your way of achieving anything you want in life. The big bad world all of a sudden becomes your playground and all those intimidating ppl from high school all of a sudden become ppl who can get on board with your goals or get the hell out of the way. Yes it’s a big life change for a few years but it’s worth it. I didn’t enjoy every day of it but its the single best decision I ever made to enable me to grow up and become a man.
TRUTH. I’ve seen this happen. If you can’t manage to get your shit together on your own this is def a solid course of action. You gotta want it though. Disregard the shit-bags, acquire self worth.
this post basically = dont be randall from clerks
imarite?
i approve, though ive never known the stereotypical nerd/geek and thought it existed only in movies…
lolol probably. Clerks 2 is a pretty good depiction of where randall types end up a decade down the line, except without the hot chicks and happy ending. Then again, I know scumbag losers who still manage to bone down with hot girls, but in another decade I think the well will be dry for them.
This was a really good post, I would just like to add to the youngs reading this that when you get to college you may feel excited about being accepted into beta groups unlike in high school but resist if at all possible! If you are still developing as a person then this can really drag you down, if you are a strong personality that already knows what you want out of life then you can probably afford to play magic the gathering without falling into the trap of believing the nerds will inherit the earth but otherwise avoid as you will be dragged down into mediocrity.
A+ post really tho
As an ex-touring musician, college drop out, and all around fuck up working two shitty jobs, I can say that this post is definitely making me ponder some things. I’ve always been good at math, and have a genuine interest in physics (though I got a D in it my last semester of college via my band’s recent contract signing and believing this would do anything to advance my life). Any advice as far as deciding on a major? Acquiring student loans since I’d be paying for college on my own?
sup brah ex touring musician checking in who is finishing their last semester of college right now….get a degree in finance/accounting, lift, get a normal haircut, and profit
No philosophy, no communication/media studies (my major, my regret), no social work (honorable occupation but shit pay for a soul crushing job). No associates degree (go at least bachelor’s or don’t go at all.
Last job I had was at a company that made the technical publications for the most boring machinery known to man. There were a lot of dudes there who went to trade school and were in just as much debt as I was for a lot less important piece of paper. So unless you know exactly what you want to do and a trade school will help, I would be extremely wary of them.
Basically, if you aren’t good at math or science, time to become generically good at business. Sarge could probably give you a better course of action via him kinda already coming out the other end of this wormhole. I’m still figuring this shit out myself…I’m just a really good guide at telling you what NOT to do.
Alex’s advice is strong as well especially since it seems you dudes might be in the same boat and he’s an example of a musician who isn’t going to bartend for the rest of his life.
whoever wrote this article is a whining pussy
knuckle up son
the whole article is about how to stop being a whiny pussy and how life won’t be handed to you and you have to work for it, AKA knuckling up.
learn 2 reading comprehension b4 u post comments plz
signed, captain of the jorbam WK brigade
I told you dad, I’m going to start the job search once my Grey Fox Metal Gear Action figure (variant) sells on ebay and as soon as I hit the level cap with my Gunzerker in Borderlands 2! Gawl, get off my back!
Unfortunately, money absolutely buys happiness.
FUCKING YES!!!! people may be all like “well money doesn’t buy you happiness” but i call bullshit because i guess they haven’t been foreclosed and homeless or lived in a shitty studio apt in the ghetto with like a shitload of people in it like caged animals n shit lol…
money makes life easier and does make you happy fuck dat shit.. CREAM bitches!!
mr.burns-moneyfight.wmv
“Money doesn’t buy happiness”
Signed, liberal upper middle class white person whose always had a lot of money.
But if they have money and aren’t happy, wtf?
Is the only way to be happy to be poor first, then make money? Are people born into middle class families doomed to brooding, privileged misery?
so become what you hate and like it.
brb rereading this post with hatebreed in the background
Uncle Jorbam’s Advice Column No One Asked For: Beta/Nerd Youngling Edition
Already laughing at the title, typical Jorbam post.
existence is a joke A+ nihilism, love it
back when there still was an economy RIP job openings. The shittiness of the current economy is a big setback for those of us trying to become adults. Call me a whiner but its true.
But do you know what happens to most nerds? They get friendzone’d 8 to 13 times, gain 70 to 80 lbs. and are found dead in their mom’s basement with a Gundam stuck up their dumper, Naruto wall scroll redeployed as a noose cinched around a doorknob with a quickly cooling load on the adjacent body pillow because working 3rd shift at some assembly line job was too much of a rock’n funzone party to not slip this mortal coil with one last chokerbation sesh.
Prime example of my favorite type of humor: crushingly depressing truth that is somehow hilarious, morbid, disgusting and offensive all at once. Louis CK in a nutshell, not easy to pull off in any way but this line did it. A+ sentence structure, attention to detail, sarcasm, etc. Also some Bukowski-esque vibes with the 3rd shift assembly line job detail.
The bands you listen to and look up to are either A. miserable old fuckers who will never be able to retire or B. disingenuous fuckers who learned how to make a business/brand off of creating music for the young people who live by this code we totally know doesn’t work.
Option A: <3<3<3<3 my favorite bands
Option B: Not gonna hate on anyone for cashin in on suckers, that's what America is all about, right?
All in all, liked this post, but it is very reminiscent of posts Sarge already did, except from a nerd POV?
Unfortunately, money absolutely buys happiness. You have to look at it as a voucher/pass system: “I have “x” amount of money so that allows me “y” amount of time/resources to do what I like.
I find this HIGHLY disputable. I recognize that SYWH will overall disagree with this, but the reality according to these very posters is that in order to make bank you need a job that requires 40+ hours 5+ days per week, leaving very little time to do whatever you want. My basic problem with life is, what the fuck is the point of it if I have to spend almost all of it doing something I don’t like or even hate (ie work) just to have enough money to buy shit I’ll barely ever use because I’m always at work? I understand that you have to RAKE in money just to make it in life, but what I don’t get is what the point of all this is when at the end of the day you are just resting for another day of hard work, unless you happen to actually like your job (meaning you would go if you didn’t have to).
Yes, I understand the “having options” argument to getting a career and this is why I am pursuing one, but I am very skeptical of the claim that money buys happiness. Not saying I have any alternative ideas for how to be happy, can’t say I ever have been myself.
Overall solid post, would read again, enjoyed the length of it (srs)
How much time do you really need to “do whatever the fuck you want”? If you’re not conducting an engaging activity, after about 3 hours of nothing it’s kind of a waste, unless you like staring at sunsets or some other gay shit. You are correct in surmising that you probably ought to like what you do for a living; if you hate your job you are doing it wrong/missing the point. Money is a way of life, to life, there is no getting around that. That said, if you can work a budget that gets you all you need on a modest income, thats exactly the right track. However, you can’t escape the process of budgeting. Your income will always be a factor in what you want out of life. Unless you are a monk. Or homeless. Or in Jail.
Some people seek the help of professionals to suss out what it is that will really make them happy because they have a difficult time figuring out what it is by themselves.
Those professionals charge by the hour
Dude there is 168 hours in a week.
If you spend 40 hours a week working, that means you have exactly 128 hours left each week. What on earth could you possibly be doing where 128 hours is “very little time”? Archaeological digs? Building a full scale replica of the golden gate bridge out of lego…? We all get that not everyone needs $150K /year job and a party mansion on each coast, but (as has been mentioned before) life on minimum wage is miserable. Money is just the gateway to happiness. 35 – 40 hours of work every week is a very fair exchange for comfort and enough cash to go biking or camping or whatever you wanna do in your 128 hours of spare time each week.
Also I kinda don’t get why you always say stuff like this on almost every “lief post” considering you’re becoming a nurse aren’t you?? P sure that’s the wrong career path if you don’t want long hours?
Well, yes there are 168 hours per week, but in actuality the typical work day (8-5, Mon-Fri) is very inefficient in that regard. If you get up at 6:30am and get home at 6pm, which seems to be typical for commute times, you actually spent almost 12 hours per day basically dedicated to work. Assuming you get 8 hours of rest per night, that realistically leaves you with only a few hours per day to do anything else. Factor in 1-2 hours of exercise and maybe some cooking, then you have even less… and this is actually why I chose nursing. Yes, the hours are usually long, but there are tons of part time opportunities and flexible hours (<3 3pm-11pm shift, I hate waking up early). My mom works 5/10 (5 shifts per pay period, which is 2 weeks), and usually gets 1-2 hours OT on each of those shifts so it adds a bunch of money. I interviewed for a job (didn't get it) that was 12 hour shifts but only 3 days a week, with full time pay/benefits. IMO this is a much more efficient way to work, get all of it done in 3 long days since a day at work is a wasted day anyways, I rarely get other shit done if I'm working on a given day. Also according to other nurses its better because 8 hours is just not enough time to get everything done, especially charting.
You guys are both right though, I post the same shit in some longwinded form every time one of these posts comes up and should probably stop.
IMO you are right that 40 hours of work is a fair exchange for the 1st world lifestyle, but having only 2 real free days per week is not. I guess one of my major life goals is to have more days off than on, which seems feasible given my relatively low (by middle class standards) standard of living and career path. I want to consolidate the hours into certain days to free up other days, if that makes any sense.
I was actually considering making a post in the forum regarding time management, suggestions and discussion. I feel like this is a very important adult skill that I and perhaps many other SYWH users could improve.
Possibly Sarge or you or someone could even make a post on it?
Anyways thanks for the replies, my comment was particularly longwinded this time, even for me lol
shit I just got out of class, chillin in my dormroom reading this. LOL I’m a computer art major but I have no idea what I’d wanna do with my experience yet. I don’t have the special snowflake syndrome so I think I’m on the right path so far. After reading this article, I am inspired and I now know I have the ability. I will do or do not and try. Thanks SerD!!! <3
you’re welcome, but i didn’t write this post haha
srs doe this album is sweet
glad all the hipsterfags dont like her anymore 2