The best of ALLISON GREEN’s slutty Instagram pics

Over the past year or so, I’ve developed a strong preference for kyut, sweet girls (TAY SWIFT I’m looking at you) and an equally strong aversion to self-centered, slutty-looking girls who crave male attention. That said, sometimes my penis has a mind of its own– for example, that I have fallen madly in heart with ALLISON GREEN (who you may know as the less-popular sister from MILLIONAIRES) despite the fact that she looks like a second-shift stripper from Van Nuys aka the opposite of sweet aka the opposite of the kind of girl I normally fall in heart with. But my penis has spoken, and who am I to disagree??

In this post, I will share the best of her slutty Instagram photos so you can see why I love her so much. Put down a tarp before reading any further, you’re gonna need it!

Two things I normally hate on girls are hats and fake glasses. Yet on this enchanting creature I could not love them more ♥ Dat face omggggggggggg 11/10

“Ugh I’ll clean up my room in a minute mom, I’m busy taking selfies!!”

The part where her bikini bottom is so small that it’s like digging into her hip = call 911 and tell them I may be dying of boner overdose

What the shit is up with Melissa’s zombie leg please respond

This is one of those pictures that makes me slightly resentful because I feel like it just isn’t fair that a girl this hot exists :/

That “hungover bro ho still wearing makeup from when she passed out last night” look hngggggggggggg (srs)

sup bb rly into how u have the same hair as one of my favorite ‘adult entertainers’ Christine Alexis

Wood choke back my hatred for dinosaur metal and tell her her shirt was ‘soooo awesome’/10

And least but certainly not least. DAT A$$ #culo

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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82 Responses to The best of ALLISON GREEN’s slutty Instagram pics

  1. eurotrash says:

    huej bonor achivd
    good

  2. Void Eater says:

    nice megadeth shirt

  3. C.Ninja says:

    FUUUUUCK. No lie Sarge, she is unfairly hot.

    She exists on the same planet as us…..wat

  4. Latinoheat!!! says:

    fucking ded @ despite the fact that she looks like a second-shift stripper from Van Nuys

    you sold me tho…. i do believe she is hot now that you convinced me bro!! I thank you…

    brb heading to the city of industry on valley blvd ( dem titty bars/strip clubs n taco trucks!!) so i can hopefully convince a bro-ho blonde stripper to be my wyfe!!

    you’re making me reminisce about imperial showgirls and wishing i had a lifted SUV/truck w/ a fatal decal so i can be knee deep in dat bro-ho ass in HB!!!

  5. That zombie leg = boner has been assaulted, critically wounded, medical attention necessary. Survival unknown. My penis may never work again. Saerg pls

  6. Autodidact says:

    HHHHHNNNNNGGGGGG

    No yellow-fever but I would seriously drop loads in/on/at Allison Green. We should start a petition for Allison Green to get into Brazzers/Reality Kings/Bang Bros. Woodillegallytorrentherscenesonpiratebay/10

  7. Not my type in the slightest, but her booty is undeniably fine.

  8. Thomas says:

    Trying to figure out how she took that last pic. Like did she put it on a timer and balance her phone on some books?…On second thought she prolly just had the dude in her life take that pic. So jelly of this mystery photographer :\

  9. jaded says:

    Dammit Sarge, it’s your fault that I now have a total thing for chicks wit sixpacks…

  10. Notderek says:

    Christine Alexis <3

  11. Ink Deep says:

    Tbh their mom is kinda cute too. Strong genes.

    <3 u Millionnaires & Millionnaire Mom.
    H8 u Millionaires dad.

  12. Mike from MD says:

    I follow her page
    she’s cute but she’s not hot at all
    Getting a huge assist with all that make up,has no curves and has no booty
    I’ll give her a bonus because Millionaires is quite entertaining
    6/10

  13. breadwolf says:

    Everything about this post is fucking perfect.

    That “hungover bro ho still wearing makeup from when she passed out last night” look?
    check.

    Porn Star hair?
    check.

    Nerdbait?
    check.

    SUPER TIGHT BIKINI BOTTOMS?
    check.

    #BSGD?

    double fuckin check.

    Excellent work Sarge. Out here mirin’

  14. Trenbolona says:

    Otw + pro ho = boner. Also she looks kind of mexi. Def approve of her hotness. Also she seems more normal than her sister via not making herself look like a bratz doll.

  15. Save Parker says:

    Post of the year right here. In ten years science is gonna research the most bookmarked pages in internet history and be shocked to discover a relatively unknown blog page right between Netflix and ESPN.

  16. hgsg says:

    Omgggg those tiny shorts and Napoli jersey (gonna miss u on the Rangers, bro). Hnnnnnng that tiny stripper bikini bottom. Dem expertly manicured latina-style eyebrows………. I HAVEN’T EVER JERKED OFF AT WORK, GENTLEMEN, AND I’M NOT GONNA START TODAY

    • hgsg says:

      Journal update. 9:10am, Dec 18, 2012.

      It has been 15 minutes since Sarge awared me of his Allison Green spank bank collection, and I still have not taken my laptop to the bathroom and JERKED IT AT WORK. The blood is draining from my brain. I try to remember back to the time before I saw these pictures, but this painful tumescence won’t let me. I think I was different then. . . I guess we all were. The memory of my previous life is nothing more than a nebulous fog, w/ only cursory snapshots of events and people that were probably important to me at one point (I think I had a family. Pets?). My reality now is DAT ASS. Nothing came before, nothing came after. I now sit in this room lit by fluorescent lights. It’s crowded, filled w/ strangers, and a computer is projecting on a white screen. I think there are expectations these strangers have of me. “Are you going to go through these slides, dude?” I don’t understand. I am frightened.

  17. Godeye says:

    Hate to be that guy, but the dyed hair is kind of a dealbreaker- shit, I’m being that guy

  18. hgsg says:

    She’s all naked on your bed…. “Girl is that hair dyed PINK?!!! No thanks, yucky! Blech” Cmon son….

  19. Zoloft says:

    what if allison is some kind of vampire who feeds on other ppls looks? She might have sucked her sister’s kyutness away, turning herself in the better looking one

  20. JameyPasta says:

    Would suck the fart right out of her ass/10

  21. mijogoestojuniorcollege says:

    brb going to a meet and greet to ask her to breathe near me

  22. BurningThePizza says:

    So fucking good and lovely.

  23. GroundDweller says:

    dem hapa girls are just the best <3

  24. It’s probably the Millionaires fault that I’m into to semi-trashy hair. Never used to care.

  25. Lazlow Panaflex says:

    I love strippers in Van Nuys!!! The Wet Spot son!!!

    • hgsg says:

      Me and some of my boys went to some strip clubs around pomona and fullerton last week after the starting line show. I hoped a lot of girls would look like this. Aside from the nasty-hot MXN w/ hoop earrings (A+ in my book), they were mostly pretty groce. I guess next time we should make the trek up to the valley for strip clubs instead?

  26. TLDR says:

    IMO this one was always hotter than the other one. Red lipstick = rip my boner in literally all situations

    Great post Sarge. I wanted to comment on your funny commentary but forgot all of it due to the babe. TBH, I’m impressed you were even able to write this post. How did you manage to actually get any words down while viewing these pics? I can only conclude this ability is somehow related to your rigorous workout regimen and wisdom bestowed upon you from the almighty GH15

  27. David Coverdale says:

    Thanks for awaring me to her instagram, Sarge. She is very good and lovely. Might not have the ability, but she’s hot so that’s cool.

  28. AT7 says:

    I KNOW YOU WANNA LEAVE ME, BUT I REFUSE TO LET YOU GO!

    #plz reaspond”

  29. sirfartsalot says:

    A++

  30. Mr Booze says:

    “call 911 and tell them I may be dying of boner overdose”

    Ded!

    Brb, combing my hair
    http://youtu.be/QdyM9vze2jo

  31. Anonymous says:

    i love ms green, i like that shes in control of her sexuality and no one else. and taylor swift has had 15 boyfriends since 2013 started and allison has been with the same guy for quiet some time now. gosh this is the stupidest website. thanks allison green for reblogging it saying how funny it is.

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