WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Slam That Sickness edition

Posted on December 28, 2012 by Sergeant D

shiv wkc

In this conversation, we see 7 HORNS 7 EYES/OVID’S WITHERING/ENPEDESTALMENT vocalist SHIV THE IMPALER employ the advanced-level technique of ironic WKing.

BRB using “hey there delilah let me PIITB” as my OKC ‘about me’

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About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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65 Responses to WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Slam That Sickness edition

  1. steve says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm

    So how did it end up?

    needs moar plz respond :(

    Reply
  2. Chriswithak says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    This is incredible. WKing on this level will never fail.

    Reply
  3. Ian Stuart says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    this rules. picturing plain white douchebags singing those lyrics.

    Reply
  4. Save Parker says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    Ironic white knights are my favorite right after fake out white knights. But they are the funniest to see for sure, and this example is glorious. ALL PRAISE TO SHIV OUR WHITE KING.

    Reply
  5. V Saxena says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    ROFLOL. WTF did I just read!??

    Reply
  6. Bronson says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Just as a goof, I started WKing some of friends’ friends and I actually found that as long as you kinda nudge-nudge wink wink reference that maybe you aren’t totally serious off the bat, shit does actually kinda work (via you being perceived as ‘rly funny and self aware by said randoms).

    Reply
  7. Autodidact says:
    December 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Article: WK Chronicles
    SYWH Backgorund: Allison Greene

    Strong subject matter to fap material ratio. Also, I will be texting my gf “hey there delilah let me piitb” once every few days until I get to do more than tongue jam her fart box

    Reply
  8. dismemberenment says:
    December 28, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    That was ace a++ pure plain white t-genius. This man has the ability.

    Reply
  9. nutkin says:
    December 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    i think “hey there delilah lemme PIITB” made me have a crush on shiv.

    Reply
  10. Thomas says:
    December 28, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    I like this a lot. Very post-modern and avant-garde technique of communicating with women.

    Reply
  11. eurotrash says:
    December 28, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    I like a good laugh as much as the next guy, but disrespecting a woman this way is really tasteless imho.
    Dear Kaity, if you want to talk about it – or anything really – feel free to hit me up at ThePussyMaster@hotmail.com

    Reply
  12. hgsg says:
    December 28, 2012 at 2:36 pm

    ded @ magic deck and gundams

    Reply
  13. TLDR says:
    December 28, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Amaze, would read again.

    Reply
  14. policerespond says:
    December 28, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    I’ve had to come back and read this 5x today just because it gets better with every read and i’m really starting to process how advanced this is.

    Reply
  15. Wes Borland says:
    December 28, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Srsly keep dying @ both “magic deck and gundams” and “hey there Delilah let me PITTB”

    Reply
  16. shivbeatus says:
    December 28, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    Oh man I didn’t see this post coming, haha. Thinking of maybe using “Hey there Delilah…” as a botched soundclip in future Enpedestalment…

    Reply
  17. Đebz says:
    December 28, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    excellent post but what strikes me the most are comments <3

    Reply
  18. nyk3 says:
    December 28, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Your level is **. You can now fight pink nu Spekio. Spam luminaire.

    Reply
  19. Mike says:
    December 28, 2012 at 11:27 pm

    You faggots think you’re so clever with your in jokes and secret Internet language. Sitting there with one hand on your dick the other on your keyboard. Giving each other pats on the backs and tickling each others balls. You faggots will never get laid.

    Reply
    • older unwiser says:
      December 29, 2012 at 12:29 am

      hey, mike, smell my finger

      Reply
    • fuzz says:
      December 29, 2012 at 1:44 am

      Mike I think you are just mad that you will never understand our in-jokes and secret language. prayin 4 u

      Reply
    • Sergeant D says:
      December 29, 2012 at 2:15 am

      ATMd an 18 year old 20 minutes after I met her when i was in my 30s. u mad?

      Reply
    • Autodidact says:
      December 29, 2012 at 4:50 am

      Mike, the problem is you’re focusing on the things in life that don’t really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself “Am I on the right track here?”. I don’t mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck.

      Reply
    • Penzo says:
      December 30, 2012 at 8:05 pm

      u r 1 cheeky kunt m8 i’m goin 2 wrek u i swear on my mums life

      Reply
  20. older unwiser says:
    December 29, 2012 at 12:38 am

    kaity reminds me of audrina partridge (after many WK wizard wandings to restore adrina from dried lizard f0rm)

    Reply
  21. fuzz says:
    December 29, 2012 at 1:47 am

    Kaity is the perfect woman. wood let her use my back as a seat on a crowded bus/10

    Reply
  22. Jurstin says:
    December 29, 2012 at 8:11 am

    I would do this but I can’t shake the feeling girls are going to take it seriously.

    Reply
  23. SpaceGhostNigger says:
    December 29, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    This reminds me of something I would’ve done to get ‘revenge’ on a girl who friendzoned me when I was a wee black metal and /b/ obsessed 16 yr old boy… and then tell all the other pubescent virgin misanthropes on my message board about it

    Reply
  24. dingdong says:
    December 30, 2012 at 3:46 am

    this page has delivered hard lols direct to my face.

    Thank you SYWH.

    Reply
  25. Mike says:
    December 30, 2012 at 9:11 am

    You guys are so delusional it’s not funny. You really think talking like geeks and confusing women will win them. YOU WILL NEVER pull any hot women of any real note. You are probably all World of Warcraft players. You dream of girls like Taylor Swift but could never get even close to a girl like that. I bet you’re also fat and don’t work out. If you do have a girlfriend I bet she is fat to.

    Reply
    • policerespond says:
      December 30, 2012 at 10:00 am

      What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

      Reply
    • DiscosDeadMan says:
      December 30, 2012 at 12:21 pm

      not sure if shitty troll or aspie

      Reply
  26. Mike says:
    December 30, 2012 at 10:16 am

    You’re not even slightly amusing. Pathetic. Go back to your masturbating over Taylor Swift and dreaming of a larger penis.

    Reply
    • liggyhiggins says:
      December 30, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      Mike, your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I’d have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn’t understand it, and doesn’t deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn’t got a clue. You couldn’t get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You’re the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies.You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion.You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I’ll bet you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.You’re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won’t have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?You are a waste of flesh, food and air. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don’t have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right”. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
      P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, abrasive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.Go pee in an electrical outlet.

      Reply
  27. Mike says:
    December 30, 2012 at 10:18 am

    P.S You must write for MetalSucks

    Reply
  28. Alex Monro says:
    December 30, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    This started out really posi but reading Mikes comments literally gave me aids.

    Reply
  29. Mike says:
    December 30, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Because I called you out for being the sad nerds you are. Anyone that plays computer games and listens to metal will never pull a truly attractive girl. You are fat with greasy hair and will always be a low income earner.

    Reply
    • liggyhiggins says:
      December 30, 2012 at 11:00 pm

      Mike, dont even man, this was my morning:
      Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ****ing umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight ****ing frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like mother****ing fountains. Made the **** beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I’m sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you ***gots will do your whole life. Enjoy trying to rile up SYWH. Happy new years Mike, we all love you anyway.

      Reply
    • I don't get it says:
      January 2, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      tfw when sarge pays off his Acura with this site

      not sherriff if you’re in any position to critize anyone on the internet bro

      Reply

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