Alright… now that we have SYWH growing and growing into more than a tightknit international community (excluding people from Nuevo Jersey; que askaro!! yuk!!), I feel that I should .. nay I MUST show you guise the most famous songs from our spanish-speaking browns!! Wait wait before you go, “Goddamnit el-ayche, all i hear is taco, taco, taco, burrito, nacho supreme, herpes, derp!!”I must tell you that if you want to impress that sexy senorita secretary or that cute shorty red-hair-dye’d pochita working the verizon wireless kiosk at your local mall, this list is it!! You won’t get laid of course but at least you will get points added in your favor bro, trust me! Let’s look at the most latin famous mnstrm hits, you damn OTB’s (other than browns) should know! People that espeak espanich plz bear with me cuz u guise know these songs (or better fucking know these songs or else we aren’t friends!). I apologize if the vids don’t show up cuz like theres no youtube button on a wordpress editor (don’t worry press alt+f4 if you don’t wanna open a new tab n follow the reading) but yea vamonos amigos:
Mana – Oye Mi Amor
Now as a lil 6 year old I was beginning my mastery of the english language via 1st generation immigrant parents (THANK YOU CONTRAS,OLIVER NORTH, THE COLLAPSE OF MEXICO AS AN IMPORTANT COUNTRY N RONALD FUCKEN REAGAN <3 =] )and was at the video rental store ( RIP max/sun/star video n of course the big dawg blockbluster) in the early 90′s when i saw a game called “secret of mana”. In my head all i saw was “secreto de Maná” (stupid character map accent! yes i got a “B” in spanish in HS so what? lol). MANÁ is basically the biggest rock band that came out a year or two before with this fucken hit album called ¿DONDE JUGARAN LOS NINOS? (dat upside down question mark makes me feel so fancy hehe) that rocked KLOVE n other spanish language radio stations across the prop 187 backed killer cali! These fuckers are like the beatles or led zeppelin of the latin american world depending on which mexican or type of mexican you ask. I was fucken pissed that these glam haired “rokeros” werent in my fucken game about moving some character around in grass n shit ( all about super metroid tho.. that shit was like fucken gianna michaels status tits in yo face bomb!!).. but yea if you don’t know who Maná is then i suggest you wikipedia them n dl thier (<–jew mad english majors ? teehee) greatest hits. Fuck a discog! I’m almost reaching my actual adulthood n becoming cynical! Time is precious nowadays brah! side note: The “Vivir sin aire” song is another megahit that should be embedded in your ipod/spotify playlist as “exotic” or in the”rock en espanol” category that is basically another romantic ballad via some nice romantic lyrics as is most of our latin fucken music. Screaming n singing about being in love is tha shit for our people! Prolly for the rest of the world too.. I’m looking at you K-POP
Carlos Vives – Fruta Fresca/La Gota Fria
Big, wavy hair? check. lyrics mention something about amor/lost love/forbidden love/luv love? check. Carlos Vives is the male shakira. He was an actor in a few telenovelas before he made it big with this here gem. Dat wavy/curly colombian hair makes me proud to have an ass n a caramel/light mocha/olive complexion. Alas I’m sad to say that the troobonic plague even hit our fellow colombian bro after he made it big n wanted to be an srs artist as he cut his hair n dropped a dud. But now his new shit is back to the campy latin dance rhythms that we all know n love! “La Gota Fria” is about going somewhere in the morning and about playing an instrument or some shit with some guy named Lorenzo.
Heroes of silence – Entre dos tierras
Heroes de silencio: 50% of hispanic owned cars in so-cal have this band’s logo in their tinted back windows or w/e part of thier honda or toyota that is visible so everyone can know they like heroes of silence. I thought this fapped over mexi-band were mexican via dat power metal n crooning like so many of the “heavy metal” bands that mexicans like but most of these bands are from fucken spain or argentina!! wtf!! fucken ghey! but watevs.. this is what i get for not researching the bands that my chunt friends liked in HS. But yea HDS do go hard on that Avalancha album.
Caifanes – La negra tomasa
The mexican Cure? no/yes? anyways it was this song that i think most of my friends and I were conceived in via being the late 80s n the original neon years were ending. If you think this song sux chunt ballz via dat accordion/chunti-ness then go for the other hit “Outside”.
Jaguares – La celula que explota
Believe it or not this is the same fucken band just with a different name. The lead singer guy got tired of playing “La negra tomasa” at every gig via being a mega-hit at every maquilador bar and started this clone band of caifanes. New look!! same great taste!
There are more bands that should be highlighted but I think thats for me to know and you to read… eventually. Alright now that you have been indoctrinated in the mnstrm music of your spanish speaking neighbors I now leave you guys a treat! SFW ( I consider NSFW basically porn n anything nude) hot latin/hispanic bishes!
Do you like Maná? Don’t you just hate that gay accent/palito/squiggly line over vowels and certain letters? Were you ever in an ESL class at any point of your life like me? Did you ever have to point at a retarded tree, sky, or bird in a special book while wearing fat ass DJ headphones while hearing a tape recording of “Point to the ___” at every school you moved or went to?Did you ever make fun of/gotten made fun of as an “Extremely Stupid Learner”?(=P). How bout our ability to rock and or roll? Don’t you think people with accents are fucken hott (cept for dat NJ accent doe =/)??? Don’t you think Lionel Messi is overrated? Do you like futbol? If not how bout dat hockey? Don’t you think these chicks above are hot with a capital T? Do I annoy you? Does spanish annoy you? How bout these affliction/ed hardy jeans I bought the other day? Do I look fat in them? Am i funny yet? No/Yes? Maybe? Don’t you like reading the questions all the way at the end of each post just cuz its hilarious?