He has grey hair now? Selloutz
So with 2013 rolling in, people may be wondering how they adapt to this strange new year.
The answer, of course, is that we should just look back and say, “man, can’t believe we made it through 2012, bro, that was like a hella massive year, what was it, like 365 days? Felt like 366. Real talk.”
What I’m trying to say is that no one really knows how to handle a new year, so we for now, before we all get our acts together, we should look back on how we spent years past.
And I don’t know about you, but a pretty big part of my past was HENRY ROLLINS.
Most people know about Henry Rollins because they a) were really wasted at some point in the 90s and they dazedly saw the video for “Liar” on 120 Minutes b) were really wasted at some point in the 2000s and saw him talking about vodka and Anna Nicole Smith at 2 in the morning on VH1 or c) they are massive screwups and actually know that he was the singer for Black Flag (the fourth, actually, because out of all of them, he was the least deranged)
I’m assuming most of you are type c because you’re reading this, but in case you’re not, Henry Rollins was some skinny kid from DC who hung out a lot with Ian MacKaye before Ian started Minor Threat. Back then his name was Henry Garfield. Then he got tired of getting beat up at school so he bought a weight-lifting set and hospitalized one of his bullies, then he changed his last name to Rollins because likes security trucks, and then the dudes from Black Flag were like “Wow, this guy is ferocious!” and then he got a bunch of tattoos.
So alpha NO ONE is gonna mess with him for playing with beads
That’s not the lulziest thing about him, though. At some point in the late 80s, he started doing spoken word shows (which is basically when some beta gets up on stage and dramatically recites poetry or some other sort of pre-written piece) and at some point he stopped doing shitty poetry and started doing… stand-up. He still calls them “talking shows,” but don’t be fooled– the smell of whiny art is overpowering!!
Believe it or not though sometimes he’s actually pretty funny. For example, check out how he’s too dysfunctional and judgmental to get over a woman’s taste in music and literature before dating her:
To be honest if I went out with a chick who liked Nickelback I’d throw her out of my Equinox in a heartbeat because no girl who listens to Nickelback is interesting.
For all the bagging I do on him, though, he does seem like a cool guy. He probably cannot keep up friendships like a normal human being, but he comes off as a very nice person (although he’s the exact opposite of chill, seeing as how he’s from DC). In fact if he would just get over his superiority complex and treat women like human beings I’m sure they would find him “sweet” and “a good friend” and “someone I like going to the gym with because I know he’s not going to just stare at me!”
If we may be srs for a moment, in all honesty, Henry Rollins does a massive amount of work every year, and he deserves every bit of respect he gets and more.
The page I found this on was called “What to Do When You are Having a Panic Attack”
And I’m not just saying that because if he punches me in the nose the reverberating force will send my teeth flying out my anus. When I was younger, I listened to Henry’s stand-up (“spoken word?” idc) all the time. He was way more approachable than a Bill Hicks or a David Cross, and he didn’t talk down to you like Jello Biafra (his “spoken word” usually makes him come off like an enormous dbag). One of my favorite Henry stories was about working at a pet store with Ian MacKaye (it starts at 8:57 and you don’t need to know the rest of the story, sorry I couldn’t find a separate video):
So that’s my meaningless story about how Henry Rollins rly meant a lot 2 me. but he is cool, and he takes his descent into “cranky old hardcore dude” way better than a lot of people from the 80s hardcore scene.
Do you have any embarrassing old people that helped you “deal with some heavy stuff in my lief”? Have you met Henry and was he cool? Have you met Jello Biafra and was he a douche? Have you ever tortured an old lady while working at a pet shop???
Oh, hey. Isn’t this dude the host of ANIMAL UNDERWORLD on NatGeo? I hate it when actors try to start bands.
I think he was on a show about racial gangs in prison, it was called “Not even mixed” or something like that.
lolololol
I thought that show was about eugenics?
I hate it when actors try to start bands.
A+
Used to think his bit about nickleback/harry potter girl were great. Now I cringe.
Thanks SYWH for making this the case (srs)
Also, I back Rollins in spite of your described lulziness/overseriousness/whatever. He fronted one of the most influential hardcore bands ever. Back tard
Also, he lifts and stays in shape at an old age. Very few people actually do this, I hope I am in half as good a shape as him at that age.
Also, Rollins is one of those people who I seriously wonder would have been like if raised under different circumstances. Like look at him, he looks like he could have been military special forces vet Republican 10k day CEO banging 10/10 jailbait giving speeches about firing employees for being lazy and how the modern workforce is a bunch of leeches etc, AKA Jonny Filth’s dad
Dear Filth: is this an accurate description of your father or am I a stereotyping asshole? pls respond
Would kindly ask you to hold your tongue in all matters regarding to my most beloved father.
dead/20
k sry
just thought this description might be flattering
wrong/10
He fronted one of the most influential hardcore bands ever
although as he will be the first to say, Greg Ginn was the driving force of Black Flag creatively. i wish people would give him the credit he deserves for that, rollins was sort of just along for the ride.
Sucks when the vocalist gets all the credit when it was another band member who was/is the main force.
I genuinely think part of the reason for this is because Ginn basically did everything he could to lose credibility with everybody throughout the late 80s and 90s. Between apparently ripping off every big band on SST and putting out literally hundreds of releases nobody besides Gregg Ginn and the people in said bands gave a fuck about, for right or wrong I think he cashed in most of his praise points with everything he did after Black Flag. Conversely, given how Rollins was able to build up his image and increase his fanbase and profile, it doesn’t surprise me at all that people want to say BF was his band these days.
Not to mention that by the time they broke up Henry was doing articles for Spin, and in the ensuing years Ginn dicked around VERY well-respected bands like Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr, Husker Du, Meat Puppets, etc
Black Flag is one of my favorite bands of all time regardless of genre (srs) but you have to admit there is a lot about them to make fun of (Ginn shoehorning his jazz-improv into the band’s style, the fight between Ron Reyes and Dez Cadena, Henry being generally an asshole constantly during the 80s). Sorry if i gave off a disrespectful vibe
i wrote about how “the iron” inspired me to start lifting weights for my college essay (i got in)
That article is the greatest fucking motivator there is.
if you hate on henry rollins you are shit
I remember seeing his show a couple years back at a festival where rage against the machine was headlining. whilst rage was spouting the usual “fuck the police bring down the government” gimmicky shit that they’ve made a career on, Rollins just kinda said “you’re at a festival, just go talk to people and if you’re like minded you have a better chance of changing things”. Was pretty interesting to see how much more of a positive response the ration, boring opinion got over the loud, dramatic one.
I was a teenage superfan. I went to one of his book singings like a 100 years ago. There were teenagers like me with size XXL t-shirts and pre-JNCO oversized jeans as far as the eye could see (there were like 100 of us at the local Barnes & Nobel).
He was a total dick to everyone. Both boys and girls, he didn’t discriminate. I asked him some lame question, and he just stared at me blankly like he was going to punch me and didn’t say a word. This was his standard response to everyone who tried to talk to him.
I was bummed at the time, but looking back at it in my old age, I think I would have been totally bummed to find out he was a nice guy. I went to one of his talking shows a couple years ago, and he’s doing the grumpy old hardcore dude from the 80′s thing perfectly (no sarcasm).
As lulzy and hypocritical as he is at times (most of the time), fully backed!
Yeah i heard he could be a dbag. I remember one time my friend’s dad who was a promoter for the meat puppets or someshit and they were playing a show with black flag. My friend’s dad (not knowing who henry was) asked if he worked for the meat puppets. Henry being a douchebag looked like he wanted to murder the hell out of him and just mad dogged him. I see how he could’ve been pissed off, but he could just politely just said no.
“do you know who i am bro?? my band sold over 2500 copies of our last album!!”
“do you know who i am bro?? my band sold over 1 million copies of our last t-shirt!!”
“there are over 500 stale parodies of my band’s logo!”
“We opened for Abandon All Ships!”
As someone who was a huge Black Flag, Rollins Band and Henry Rollins fan as a kid, I have several feels about him and his work.
1. I think it is pretty telling that I most strongly identified with/responded to him when i was 14-16. Go read some of his books from the mid-late 80s and you’ll be like “wow it sounds like a pissy 8th grader wrote this on his gay Tumblr with 4 followers” but he was like 25 when he wrote that shit.
2. He definitely has some good things to say about personal responsibility and self-reliance but god fucking damn he can be a blowhard and complainy, butthurt oldfag. I think this happens to even the coolest white guys when they get into their late 40s (see also Adam Carolla and Joe Rogan) so I guess he can’t help it but I have such a low tolerance for that shit these days that I can’t really handle him at all anymore. Especially when he complains about Kids These Days and Their Terrible Music.
thanks, i was super disapointed to see a positive article about rollins on this site. Only thing i could think about during his bit on contemporary/electroic music was “old man yells at cloud”. srsly what did people his age thought of hc back in the ’80s?
Still a hardworking and dedicated dude tho.
I wouldn’t describe this article as entirely “positive.” basically my feels are almost identical to Sarge’s, I just have a lot of respect for him via being intimidated when I was younger entering the scene. He has major issues to work thru and the bit on electronic music u mentioned is hilarious in all the ways he didn’t intend
i understand what you mean and how rollins deserves his share of respect, it’s just that this site being sywh, i was expecting something different.
Nice post anyway, cool to see other contributors, keep it up.
Apologies in advance for a 100% serious comment. I visit this site almost daily and know the rules of the road, but when it comes to Rollins I have both firsthand knowledge and strong opinions.
I’m a writer (for Alternative Press and a zillion other places) and I’ve interviewed him at least five times, maybe more, since the mid ’90s. He’s always been awesome, friendly, super knowledgeable about music (and not in a “my-knowledge-makes-me-better-than-you” way, more in a “you’ve-gotta-hear-this-it’s-awesome” way with no genre snobbery happening AT ALL) and generally cool…in a social-cripple-who’s-now-famous kind of way. As the years have gone by, he’s gotten more and more comfortable with who he is and is now totally a grown-ass man, unfortunately the Internet preserves everything forever, so the teenage/early 20s awkwardness/rage of the 80s and 90s are still what he’s known for.
Also, I’m a fan (obviously). I’m too young to have seen Black Flag (I was 15 when they broke up), but I saw the Rollins Band multiple times between 1990 and 1992, bought all the albums, even bought some of his books years ago. When I was a young, rage-filled, female-repelling idiot, his lyrics about being all those things Really Spoke To Me, Man. And now that I’ve spent the last 20 years busting my ass to make a name as a writer, his whole perseverance/self-actualization spiel kinda Speaks To Me too, you know?
Again, apologies for the serious comment. But I think Rollins is pretty unfuckwithable as far as ex-hardcore dudes who’ve Made It Big go.
He got super butthurt and was borderline rude to me when I tried to talk to him about SOA years ago– I sincerely think that 7″ is amazing but he sure didn’t want to talk about it and seemed offended that I liked it. Kind of a bummer.
For a moment i thought you meant Sons Of Anarchy…
idk for all of rollins faults and whiny rants he’s come out to earn good money, be counted as a celebrity and got to be in the opening 20mins of bad boys 2. something to ‘mire.
he could’ve come out a lot worse i.e the king of being a whiny butthurt smelly poor oldfag keith morris (shudders)
I loved him in Johnny Mnemonic. Great acting skillz…
“Who is Jones?”
“He’s the guy who FUCKS your mother!”
Corporate henchman in Heat all day
this
His most seminal role is his nuanced performance in Jack Frost, imo
prison guard in The New Guy
prison guard in Lost Highway
I lvoe Henry Rollings seems like a cool guy but also really detached as well if you’ve ready “Get in the Van”.
he seems like an unbearable little crybaby in that book to me. like, what the fuck did you think DIY touring in 1985 was going to be like? if you don’t like it, quit and get a real job or suck it up and stop complaining. for all his yapping about work ethic and keeping a stiff uppper lip and all that he sure does fucking whine a lot in that book. it’s not like anyone put a gun to his head and made him go on tour– do you want a fucking medal for sitting a van?
Yes, I would like to be recommended for the Rollins Medal of Honour 2013.
Shit, I forgot to talk about Get in the Van. I own that and Black Coffee Blues, and in GITV the book starts off as a promising document of the 80s hardcore scene, but by the ’83 section that has given way entirely to Rollins whining in his journal about nothing on particular. Really disappointing read, wood not recommend
I have a theory that most punk/hardcore tryhards wish to wish to ‘stay true’ even as they move beyond a reasonable age to be ‘vry passionate about the scene’ basically try to model their life trajectories after the heros they excessively read about when they were teenagers, which accounts for certain strains of punk and hardcore kids follow such predictable life patterns (ie: Jawbreaker/Schwartzenbach worship —–> know-it-all Litfag who wears sweaters and patches ——> English teacher/professor, Kathleen Hannah worshiping riotgrrrl ——-> college feminazi ——-> frumpster feminist librarian, Keven Seconds ———-> super duper posi hardcore kid ———> fat, bearded oldfag with limited life prospects that faps to ALK3 and HWM even though he is in his thirties.)
Mind you, everyone starts at some mutation of punk and/or hardcore, but once they lock in their totem hero they more or less go from there if/until they stop caring about punk.
Henry Rollins is the totem hero of ‘dark, artistic’ punk/hardcore kids who wish to ‘maintain their ethics and creative integrity even as they move into the career-oriented adult world’. In other words: Goofy, Rollins worshiping kid ————–> ‘complex, visceral’ tr00 hardcore ‘scene fixture’ ———-> overserious college designfag whose works are ‘heavily influenced by the raymond pettibon and the art of the 80s hardcore era’ (actual design job prospects highly questionable).
here have a phrase: “subaru dad” “npr music and whole foods dad” “elbow patches on my sport jackets in my 30s dad”
*golf clap*
excellent analysis dude, i think you nailed it! you need to make a whole post out of this, it’s too good to waste on a comment!
TBH all it really needs are pictures to accompany the described phases and it could be done
I’ve actually been meaning to do that for a while, but I’d keep putting it off because I’d post about something else old-band related, and I’d get self conscious of becoming ‘the guy who mostly posts about old bands’, haha. It’ll definitely be written in the near future, though.
‘the guy who mostly posts about old bands’
please do
because I want to read them
Zoebel’s right hand.
Did anyone else find it a bit crazy how he looked like a skinny shrimp in sons of anarchy when he’s do fucking hench IRL?
I’ve been a fan of his stand up (aka spoken word) stuff for years, but I think I’m too young to really ‘get’ Black Flag. I like a couple of tracks, but most of what I hear just goes over my head.
Check out the songs “Rat’s Eyes” and “Armageddon Man”. If those two tracks don’t make you a fan, I don’t know what will!
I think i’ve already heard ‘Rat’s Eyes’. If I remember correctly, it just sort of sounds like Saint Vitus. Nothing against what they were doing, I’m just not feeling it.
to be fair not many people liked those Flag albums back in the day either so you are hardly alone on that
“Let Your Fingers Do The Walking” has the sickest BF riffs
when you look through rat’s eyes
you can talk about shit real good
Oh, also, the Minuteflag EP – some of the most savage hardcore ever laid to tape imo!
I thought I was too young to “get” them but then I listened to the Nervous Breakdown EP and the version of “Depression” that’s on Damaged. Excellent tracks and successfully made them one of my favorite bands
eh, just like keith morris and ian mackaye: massive amounts of shit talk on “kids these days” that’s even more annoying because all three have a super inflated sense of self-importance for being “pioneers in teh genre.” see also: glen danzig.
i’ve always been argued with when bands like minor threat and black flag come up and i express the opinion that “i’ve never been into it, i only really like the stuff that came after it.” because it’s wrong to dislike a band if you don’t enjoy their music, apparently.
it seriously baffles me that people like them talk so much shit on Kids These Days. I mean if you don’t like current music that’s fine, but as people who put up with so many dipshits telling them their bands weren’t “real music” you would think they’d understand that they’re just doing the same thing.
butbutbutbutbut somtimes bands these days make money! I’m not talking monopoloy here, like REAL MONEY you can buy actual things and pay rent with!
ITS JUST NOT THE SAME CANT U SEE
I think ABSOLUTELY the reason so many of the early punk/hxc vets hate Kids These Days is b/c of bitterness that kids who loved their band are now making tons of money off a certain style of music, and the pioneers are like “wat butbutbut WE WERE THERE FIRST AND WE BLAZED THE TRAIL FOR YOU TO FOLLOW AND WHY DIDN’T WE MAKE ANY MONEY” it’s truly depressing that they can’t just be happy for these kids that loved their music and are stoked on new music
Made me think of how Buddy from Senses Fail is on the KTD’s hate tip already (via touring with brokencyde and hollywood undead and then crying about their less than stellar talent). What’s next, Skrillex talking shit about FFTL not being troo dubstep??
i’ve only heard one black flag song (T.V Party) and i’m not sure henry rolling even sang that
There are two versions, one has Henry and one doesn’t.
Dude, it WAS 366 days! Fuckin leap years man.
oh, the dude who i the voice of Lady Rainicorn’s dad on Adventure Times. Seems pretty chill
yah i’ve been a fan since I heard his work in those Infiniti commericals
”What a poser. I’ve been a fan since he was on Batman Beyond and one episode of the Drew Carey Show”’
lololol
Hah, Mad Stan was pretty fun. One of the few Beyond villains that Terry didn’t commit 2nd degree manslaughter against.
I knew a guy who had Drive by Shooting on cd. I think it annoyed him that I liked it so much.
I non-ironically like that album for it’s comedic value. Although, I can easily picture late 80′s Rollins taking himself seriously when it was recording (in the sense that the record wasn’t meant to be funny).
On a related note, the Wartime album he sang/rapped on is a LULZ goldmine!
dude that’s actually a good album though
I double dare physical challenge anyone to try and get through more than 45 seconds of this song without wanting to chop your ears off and light them on fire:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5COzcuvyho
lol @ anyone who thinks things were ‘so much better in the 90s’.
In his defense, that whole thing was a tribute to the band Trouble Funk (and Go-Go/Funk music in general) with a … well … 90′s gangster twist. I honestly don’t think the album is half bad for what it is. I do see where their heads were and why it’s so LULZY.
In full disclosure …
Trouble Funk’s “Trouble Over Here, Trouble Over There” is one of my favorite albums ever (I also love gay dance music [srsly]). I also got turned onto them (Trouble Funk) because of … well … Rollins and Minor Threat.
Did not know about the go-go connection at all (I just assumed he was inspired by Ministry or something, haha), but that said, go-go music is awesome! Trouble Funk is my jam, also really like Rare Essence (especially their later, more hip-hop oriented stuff). Hard to be in a bad mood when go-go is bumpin (unless you are at club where it is being performed and get beaten or shot, which apparently happens quite often at those sorts of shows).
best part is when they drop a chopped-up guitar solo from More Than a Feeling @ 2:42
90s white foolishness at it’s best/worst.
He reminds me of the guys from a local band (even though that don’t have anything in common)
I know them, they’re like 7 years older than me (I was born in 91, most of them-82-83). I like em, funny dudes, backed hard. Yet they give me the “I sound reasonable, yet I don’t like myself and I do stupid shit, even though my life’s way better than yours” vibe (e.g. relatively successful career as a bandbro). I mean, I would love to play in their band, cause there are always hot bishes at their shows, so naturally I wonder why they feel so bummed at the first place?
I mean, these dudes jock Nasty, Cold As Life, etc., have tattoos on their fingers, sleeves, tapout merch all over (you know the story).They look like normal people – rich parents (no sarcasm or bitterness when I say this), live in the nicer parts of town, date 8/10s. The drummer and 2nd vocalist have more-than-decent jobs #breakdownsdontputdinneronthetable
What bums me is the air of self condescending irony which surrounds them. I mean, they got it made, and yet, the last interview I watched with them went something like this:
“Reporter chick: So, why did you change the band’s name?
Vocalist: ‘Cause there was this ULTRA FAMOUS band in Japan, which went by the same alias.
Reporter chick: Ok, and what about the…
Vocalist: Again, me and my stupid sense of humour[awkward silence ensues, drummer dude tries hard not to look in the camera's direction], what I meant (?!?!?) was that we changed the name, because…”
While watching, I’m like “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you, she got it in the first place?!?! Do you need a hug or something?”
And then the drummer bro was like “What puzzles me is that we all have girlfriends. I MEAN LOOK AT US”
…again, I’m like “Dude, WHAT THE FUCK?”
What I’m trying to say is that for some reason the awkwardness is imprinted in their minds or something. They just like being self condescending idiots, even though they have fans, bishes with the band’s logo on their tits. What the fuck? I mean, why would someone deliberately present her-/himself as a loser with emotional baggage, WHEN AT THE SAME TIME SHE/HE a/ looks normal b/has someone by her/his side c/lives a life, 3-4 levels above the regular hardcore crowd. Just because she/he represents them?
Sorry for the long srs TLDR post guys.
Because maybe they are socially stunted.
They can’t help it because they don’t realize they are doing it more than likely.
If you told these bro’s “you come off as real gay in interviews, cool it” they’d probably understand and change it, because nobody wants to come off as a douche.
TLDR : They’re like “Look at us, we’re so fucked up cause it’s hardcore and shit” and at the same time they’re normal people + self condescending irony = WAT
In reality they’re not normal people, more likely narcissists, as a lot of band members / entertainment pros are. Which in this case means that they’ve got this elaborate daydream in their heads about conquering the world with their music, commitment to the scene etc. Now, this daydream interferes with how they perceive reality, so their decent local status leaves them baffled, as it is a respectable achievement, and yet, far from the heights they dream to climb. And the completely insincere self-condescending irony is just a coping mechanism with this difference between ‘the dream’ and reality. just my two cents-
Exactly, myrin that you replied bro, cause i’m talking about a euro wigger mosh band.
Tbh, my impression of Henry Rollins (or anyone that tries too hard to act tough and dbaggy) is that he’s still caught up on the whole “kids used to beat me up in elementary school” B.S. and it’s p lame imo.
He’s never really come off as a badass to me, just some insecure dude that uses “kids these days” and shit to compensate for himself. The fact that he moved on to spoken word p much reinforces this idea for me. I’ve never really been exposed much to him though beyond Black Fag and his modern rants and shit.
Oh yeah, I still don’t get what people see in Black Fag. Thirsty and Miserable is terrible imo. Not trying to offend anyone here but they just….seem lame in comparison to modern hxc.
He had this bit where he talks about catching a guy breaking into his house and chasing him down the street on his cell phone calling one of his friends who lived on the same street who runs out of his house and tackles the guy. It was kind of amazing.
I’ve always liked Henry. I never really listened to black flag. I owned “damages” and that’s it. Rise Above is a pretty sick song. I’ve heard a few Rollins Band songs. Pretty tight.
I’ve seen his stand up/spoken word once or twice when I was in college. I recall some good laughs and probably backing some of his rants cuz I was full of myself back then. He’s definitely well spoken and very smart, which is something you probably can’t say about 99% of punk rock icons.
I’ve always just respected him cuz he works hard and gets paid. A lot of his stand up stories involved his big house and his personal assistant. No matter how tr00 someone is, it’s a major crossing of the rubicon to publicly admit you work your ass off to get a lot of money. This is not something, I imagine, that Ian MacKaye or some other oldfag punk could handle. Their brains would literally explode.
Oh yeah I never read Get in the Van. I saw a few excerpts once and I was like “oooohhhkkayy” and was all set with that shit, bro.
how do you youtube in a post again?
do i unlink the link/code and wordpress will do the work? or do i gotta press the html button when editing a post and paste the complete jewtube embed code on the html code-nerdery and pray the vid will come out when the post will be published?
pls respond via a lazyness to sign in on the forums and create another ITT thread lol