A while ago my friend Todd, who is a very nice guy, gave me a bit of a scolding. “Your site is usually really funny in a good-natured kind of way, but lately it’s been a lot of just making fun of sad people,” he said shaking his head in disappointment. I am glad he said something, because that’s definitely not what I am all about.
But sometimes the internet just serves up a pitch that’s so fat and juicy and right over the plate you can’t help but swing at it because you know it’s going to be a fucking home run. And if there was ever a home run, it’s this. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you FEDORAS OF OK CUPID:
All content taken from FEDORAS OF OK CUPID
Please take this moment to be thankful that even though you are obviously a weird nerd (or you wouldn’t be reading this site), at least you aren’t one of these people :(
An active member of the atheist community
Oh Dear God… I may not believe in you, but I all of a sudden have a burning desire to proclaim to everyone that I do.
Please someone, baptise me fast, must disassociate from this human AT ALL COSTS
If being an atheist meant being like that then I would rather go to Catholic mass every week, and go to every holy day of obligation, and give my money to the church, and listen to youth group leaders explain why homosexuals are all child molesters with a straight face.
if all atheists were like this I would convert to orthodox Judaism. Thank G-d they’re not, rite
Literally did a spit take. Thanks.
i wonder how big the overlap is between people who wear fedoras on okc and sex offenders on okc?????
100% overlap
Not all sex offenders wear fedora’s, but all fedora wearers are sex offenders.
Dear Sarge,
On a scale of 1 to MAXIMUM RAGEOHOL (10), how much do you hate that super Irish fedora bro?
Plase respond
hate? i pity him too much to hate :( srs
… and how!
=D
Dang, after your article on pseudo irish /italian I thought this would be at least an 8
my favorite part about this tumblr is the occasional asks it will get accusing the blog owner of being sexist against males
fucking lol factory
So much ability is had by this blawg.
SRSly doe, I legit feel bad for these dudes. :-/
Actually too sad to laugh. :(
“Doughy physiques” is the most accurate tag ever.
Nobody can complain about SYWH being too mean for making fun of these fggts, bcz srsly lets face it, everyone on earth who stumbles across this shit is laughing. YOU’RE NOT A SAINT!!!!
It’s a deep deep barrel and these guys are way down the bottom.
This is what I imagine at least 89% of Reddit users ackshewally look like IRL.
seems a little low imo but yeah i get your point
Yay! I am the 11%!
the part that makes me not feel bad about making fun of them is how fucking arrogant so many of these dudes are. dat bizarrely inflated self-esteem and baffling superiority complex
Inflated ego via the mutual “safe place” fellation that is high school drama departments.
Children of the “stop bullying” generation. Did you know they have “No Bully Zone” signs in high schools now? Turrable, just turrable.
I’m sure they really discourage real bullies.
It’s just the principle of it.
i’m sorry so many of my generation will grow up like this. I think my age group right now produces the most fedorites per capita. so sad
I know a guy who is literally a microcosm of every unfortunate stereotype laid upon ppl who wear fedoras, and his massive superiority complex + unlucky lisp makes him sound perpetually on his period
Not to mention that it’s a fucking dating website where you’re putting pics up for the public to gauge how worthy of a human being you are.
Tbh, I’m more perplexed at anyone making meme/video game jokes on their profile over their supposed intellect. At the very least I can see how they could have the misguided idea that bragging about their “intellect” could be interpreted as a plus by a female, but it is beyond me how they think writing “awesomesauce” on a dating profile is ever a good idea.
‘dat bizarrely inflated self-esteem and baffling superiority complex’
the hands down worst part about these kinds of people, having the best gear on WoW doesn’t translate to successful or ‘awesomesauce’ in the real world.
‘awesomesauce’ this is the one guy I actually pity, b/c really it seems like he was just cursed with an overactive imagination but an incredibly poor sense of humor, so he was an outcast in the first grade and then he found a fedora hidden in his dad’s closet, donned it, and BOOM betafggt 4 lief
I just picture it like gollum finding the ring. Him and his brother found the fedora on his birthday, then he killed him for it.
One hat to rule them all…
ded
“cursed with an overactive imagination but an incredibly poor sense of humour” This is a mindblowing issue that is more that easy to stop. Not saying my life is a archetype, but this was only an issue for my fully until about 17.
This has to be the most advanced use of an ask box I’ve ever seen:
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/37224917138/why-do-u-hate-ppl-with-autism
freftd: “how come its ok for you to make fun of ugly dudes on this site and i cant make fun of fat chicks for being gross and unnatractive with bad genetics that i am not interested in reproducing with?”
BCUZ FAT SHAMING IS BAD U CIS PIG
I might consider sywh a religion now. this post has so much to give for future generations and has shown me what I myself am capable of.
this read has been an amazing experience
742/-042 fav post yet.. fuck
But with my fedora, neckbeard, unique interests, and insatiable desire to discuss video game development and rational atheism, I’m pretty much a modern Don Draper. Except I’m a nice guy. Chivalry is NOT DEAD.
its so brutal how at their core, they ARE smart, nice guys. but the part where they were able to process social cues wasn’t included when they went down the assembly line. sad? sure… but fuck, i can’t help it.
i would tend to agree, but i assauge my guilt by reminding myself (at least based on my experience with these types) of just how arrogant the average fedorite can be.
this. fedora types, if left unchecked, can fester into the worst kind of tv-tropes-dwelling denizens.
man, this
like i could see how this easily could have been me if i didnt develop even the modest social skills that i have, and i feel for these guys, but they just do not understand and it is so, so sad :/
I would disagree with you there, mate. From all my interactions with folks like these, they usually ARE complete douchebags who are insufferably stupid and shallow most of the time. There are a lot of nice fedora dudes out there but they usually get the awkward/annoying yet still sweet 4-6/10 nerdy girl who likes Homestuck and Naruto a bit too much. Like, the “fandom” tumblr girl type who fawns over sherlock and supernatural and hetalia and shit. So the nice fedora dudes don’t usually end up on this kind of site.
Also they end up being racist/sexist/homophobic the majority of the time.
I was just thinking this. I knew a fedora dude in high school who was generally well liked in spite of being eccentric. He also had a reasonably average looking female counterpart who was also well liked. I think he was what all fedora dudes wish they were: capable of talking to normal people, and had actual wit and told genuinely funny jokes.
Now I’m wondering what ever happened to him haha
Only fedora dude I’ve ever known personally was a nice guy, but he was obsessed with dragons and shit like that and always had gross yellow stuff stuck on his teeth
HOLY SHIT the yellow teeth thing!!! WHY OH WHY do they have this? Fedora bro I knew had that too, but when him and his female compliment joined his teeth mysteriously improved seemingly overnight.
he was given a reason to wake up in the morning?
it legit looked like he’d glued little bits of Cheetos to his teeth
SRS that shit was naaaaasty and afflicts roughly 30% of fedora bros
also, that devry video game guy is pretty much a collection of the worst stereotypes imaginable. Probably a really nice guy
devry. as if it couldn’t get any more cartoonishly beta, he had to add that.
I like how he has his next 5 years perfectly planned out. It’s fun watching naivety at play. “Guys, right after we slay DeVry and get our killer associates degrees in programming, we’ll just up and move to Japan (pretty sure we can just fly there and find a place to rent we’re americans we’re just allowed to live places def don’t need visas or anything) and get jobs in one of the most competitive fields there is.”
I personally cannot think of any way that this plan could go wrong.
Moving to Japan to become video game developers?
Why has no one thought of this before????
Haha I actually looked into working at Blizzard. Top games firms ( and their are an ever decreasing number of games developers due to monopolization….) are VERY hard to get a job at. They’ll take ‘real’ nerds from ivies, Berkeley etc who are actually intelligent, rather than those who just embrace the subculture cos they’re just socially inept.
On the plus side. The money almost Investment Banking levels of baller, but so are the hours ;’(.
I’m actually not sure this is entirely true. I have a close friend who works for EA in some kind of middle management position, and he actually does the hiring for entry level positions such as game testing. He says computer science degrees are a huge red flag of employability (srs) along with nerdyness in general, and that he actually needs chill bros who can get along with people working 14 hour days a few weeks straight to meet a deadline without getting into pissy drama fights or whatever, not highly intelligent yet socially inept nerds.
Of course, this could be different for more complex jobs like complex graphic engineering or whatever, but those jobs are much scarcer than others in the video game industry if I understand correctly.
If you already know what college you will be going to, you are not going to that college
I’m pretty sure anyone can get into a for-profit.
Poor fool.
Backing what Todd said, but please continue. I like these “People = Shit” posts a lot more than I should.
DAE misanthropy?
I know a lot of people like this, via MTG, and a lot of them are super-nice, accepting and friendly people at heart but do just have an enormously misplaced set of priorities. I think it is very sad when these people go down the path of white knight/misogyny (alternatively, nerd-arrogance) because they simply cant figure out how to talk to women because there are plenty of awkward, dorky women out there who are perfect for these people if they just knew how to differentiate treating friends from prospective sexual partners.
But yes, these are for sure a laugh riot.
Half the humour stems from the fact that we all could ave been like this – if we weren’t weird nerd we would not be reading this site etc etc :)
Ehhh I actually don’t see any life path that would have brought me to this level of beta dorkery. It’s comforting until I realize that there is also no conceivable life path that would have brought me to tr00 aplha status either :(
Oh well, could be worse
“nerd-arrogance” this is such a mindbottling phenomenon. like you “rly deserve more props because I can play every Rush album on my Casio”
Mate, you seriously have to stop posting so often on the same post.
It’s a bit too enthusiastic.
I’m honestly surprised no one ever said this to me (srs)
I was talking to Obscure Reference btw LOL
I know, but what I was saying is that I;m surprised this comment never came up towards me
I was so determined not to laugh but lost it at “An active member of the atheist community”, if this doesn’t make you wet then you only date arseholes.
Wasn’t sure which was the worst between the above and the “I used to be an adventurer like you” guy. At least the later can grow out of it but I feel like the other guy is too far in.
” At least the later can grow out of it but I feel like the other guy is too far in.”
I think you’re right :(
The “I took an arrow to the knee guy” is faaar worse. There are way too many people like this, they think the fact that they remember outdated memes makes them the “class clown” or someshit. inb4 he discovers “the cake is a lie”
“Hey guys, check out this hilarious meme I just found, it’s a picture of this fat cat and the caption is ‘I can has cheezburger?’ It’s hilarious!”
Saw this on Gawker and was thinking about sending you a link to it but I figured you would wake up one day and just know somehow that this existed.
If one wanted to attract a lady, you would think one wouldn’t choose headwear of choice of 100% of the people ever caught spysturbating in window-adjacent bushes.
While these are awesome and simultaneously cringeworthy, that ‘fedoras of OK cupid’ tumblr i’m not so sure about. the owner (or whatever) is one of those silly feminazis tumblr seems to be full of these days, with the whole “fat shaming, check your privilege” agenda. notsureifwant.jpg. still, keep on posting these kinds of things, they’re too funny not to be.
also, I’m so thankful I never got into wearing a fedora or anything. that would have been a new low i’m not sure i could come back from…
oh christ. so it’s the feminazi version of “no fat chicks”? yuck.
It was a tough call but I think the hilarity of the fedorabros outweighs the annoyingness of the whole “slut shaming is rly bad” thing
Only time I’ve ever worn a fedora was for a Halloween party where I went as Detective Horsehead. #NoRegrets #SWAG #iberespectinaspies
I once wore a fedora in a video project. My role was “over-enthusiastic Weezer fan”
The moment I saw this tumblr I spent at least 30 minutes to an hour on it, even though I felt super uncomfortable and embarrassed for these guys I couldn’t look away
Can definitely see any of the guys playing the part in that tumblr post with the gross pony tail guy grocery shopping that keeps saying ‘m’lady’ to the super grossed out normal girl
This reminds me so much of that episode of It’s Always Sunny where the Gang tries to get Charlie back in the dating game where he asks for “a checkered hat” to pull off that Sherlock Holmes look. The look Dennis gives him is pretty much the face I have when reading these profiles. I wish I could find a .gif of it.
Regardless, I can spend days on end on websites like this. I knew a couple of dudes like this in High School but I could never talk to them or befriend them. They seemed nice but they would just talk about weird ass shit that I am not into, so they are as much of an enigma to me as crusties.
Eh, it seems like the socially inept have a magnet on their heads built to attract fedora’s.
They go hand in hand pretty well.
Also, holy crap guy up top.
The bad thing about nerdy hobbies are these people. I can just imagine him storming into a games workshop smelling of sweat with cheeto stained fingers rifling through the latest edition of the 40k rulebook being very loud, obnoxious and zany.
Why these nerds be more self aware and a little less socially retarded? I mean, being a nerdy dude doesn’t have to go hand in hand with being obnoxious.
^This x1000. I seriously hate even going into gaming related stores at this point because one of these obnoxious fucks is either:
1. Working there and let’s face people with these kinds of social skills should not be in customer service in any way, shape, or form.
2. Hanging out in the store with his friends and eavesdropping on my conversation just waiting to correct some minor detail I get wrong.
I honestly feel bad that I even play Magic because it causes me to get lumped in with guys like this.
I can’t wait to talk to the Irish looking bro about a subject relevant to his interests and let him go off on a wild eccentric tangent!
He looks a little tall to be a leprechaun
God can you imagine how horrible it would be if you got stuck talking to him about FLCL or some shit at a party.
I have no idea what that is and will remain aggressively ignorant about it for the rest of my life.
it’s actually a very good short anime series ;_;
“FLCL is too goofy. I mean, you really expect me to watch this surreal garbage? brb updating my neon genesis evangelion tumblr”
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/36599236975/the-most-private-thing-im-willing-to-admit-i
DED
didnt know William Dafoe was a big fan of fedoras
The next time some insufferable feminist tells you that you should not be into “those fake girls”, shows you a picture of some fat chick and says “this is an actual beautiful women”. Just find the profile pics of one of these guys and say: “You shouldn’t be into those fake, athletic, tanned guys, this is what a real beautiful man looks like”.
boom
A++++
had to unfollow this blog after the owner kept posting her sjw/femnazi thoughts, why can’t it just be about fedoras?
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/37411093827/and-how-is-me-telling-you-that-i-dont-find-fat-girls
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/36205386318/dunno-if-you-know-this-but-re-hitchens-guy-he-also
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/36934700308/ngl-you-seem-pretty-racist
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/post/36328650024/wuts-a-neo-atheist
probably incriminating myself as an “active member of the atheist community” but that shit trashing Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris makes me actually want this person to die
yeah, it’s just annoying seeing the divisive misinformation this pretentious dumbo is spewing on a blog advertised as fedoras of okcupid. i mean we get it, she’s really, really into dumb sjw shit; unable to realize most people don’t care/agree with whatever special snowflake position that she’s aligned herself with. if she’s gonna constantly say inane and unwarranted shit (that’s only supported by fellow circlejerking sjws/femnazis) then she’ll just alienate people and come off as a self-righteous retard. not only self-righteous but also as socially inept, and as laughable, as the fedora users featured on the blog. seriously though, if i wanted to follow someone who is chubby, has a giant bush, and forces their excessively strong opinions on others, then i’d go follow an imn. sry 4 the dumb rant.
man i somehow totally missed the SJW stuff on this site. that sucks, makes it a lot less funny.
also hating on sam harris is entry-level. there are some annoying and dogmatic atheists out there, but he is definitely not one of them. the best thinker on the subject out there imo, and just a really insightful, level-headed dude in general. huge fan.
Agreed, the End of Faith rules. So does “Letter to a Christian Nation”
Regarding “omg he supports torture/pre emptive strikes”
UTILITARIANISM: how does it work?
Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is myself. I just skip them most of the time and the amount of buttpain they generate from people who care enough about what the person running the blog thinks to send an ask challenging her opinions is pretty hilarious imo. It’s like, I don’t understand why they care in the first place and when the angry fedoras come and are met with lulzy sj rhetoric, it just causes more anger than most replies could ever cause. Idk, I think it’s hilarious.
I don’t mean to be… mean. However, they do look like beta versions of Doctor Who.
As if Dr. Who was never he most beta thing ever
bro, have you seen his new assistant? hnnnnnngggg (http://www.onepressnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Jenna-Louise-Coleman-picture6.jpg).
also, the whole ‘dr who is beta’ thing is weird to me as a britfag. over here it’s mostly normal ppl who watch it. i guess i can see how it would be the betas who mainly watch it in america though.
I read somewhere that the British fondness for Doctor Who is similar to the way Americans feel about Seinfeld.
okcgoldmine.tumblr.com
and
niceguysofokc.tumblr.com
These two seem to be sister blogs or spin-offs of Fedoras of OKC. They share the same feminazi/womyn owner too. Pictures are 10000% lol-worthy but the tags and asks are jumbling my jeremiahs a little too much these days.
this was pretty much me in sixth grade only with dorky “looks like it’s been Sat on for decades” Indians cap with V Shaped brim :’<
i just wanna shake them and yell Y R U DOIN THIS
FEDROA PLS
HA!
I feel like these were just regular nerdy kids in like middle school who decided to embrace being into weird shit and stop caring about what the crowd thought and getting more and more into their dumb hobbies and dressing stupid. Where most people would grow up and realize that was dumb, and the crowd actually had some good points, they just took it into overdrive and completely missed out on years of social experience because of their own choices. Now they have like a sixth grade social IQ and no shame to look at themselves objectively to make any improvement. Its whole level of sad I can’t handle :(
There’s so many of them too and they’re all equally hilarious. Some guys you could probably wash down, shave the sideburns off, take the mall, burn their fedoras, give them an intensive course on how to talk to people, and they’d pass as regular datable people. But some of these would probably have a fedora creepily appear on their head the next day, no matter how much you tried to help them. Lost causes.
its like one of those movies about a house that’s inhabited by some ghost who wants the new occupants to leave: no matter how many times they take down that portrait in the hallway it keeps reappearing.
“maam, we traced it– the fedora is coming from INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!!”
instead of wearing a fedora, why don’t you just cut to the chase and tattoo “i have aspergers” to your forehead.
This site makes is relevant to my interests like 99% of the time but i kinda feel like more time should be spent on exposing weenies and tr00ness in the hardcore scene (via dat Hundredth article) or posting plain funny shit (via dat ghost inside album review on itunes or dat rib busting article about Amazon reviewers) rather than making fun of society’s outcasts or people with social problems
LOL! EPIC!
ROFL! EXPANSIVE!
LMAO! GRANDIOSE!
LMFAO! MAGNIFICIENT!
I also apologise whole heartedly for being “that guy”. Sry
No like I said, I agree with you. But I just couldn’t pass this one up :/
I am having feels re this as well.
On the one hand it’s obviously funny- as someone with innate nerd tendencies I can recognise some of my own worst traits gone totally out of control in these poor guys and laugh at myself about it.. key word being myself.
I reckon there’s been a little too much mean-spirited stuff in some of the comments recently, and while that’s fine and stuff it’s not the kind of attitude a chill bro would take.
we can do bettor guise
You just know that these dudes do not “put on a shirt” but instead “don their garments”.
ded
A+
And they “doff their fedoras” for womenfolk.
WINNER
“Everything Except Rap And Country”
Myron dat username
Only one of these hats is even a fedora.
This comment sums up the Internet social experience.
a lot of these are clearly top hats. DEFEND TR00 FEDORAS
I think we all may have known one of these guys at some point or another, so here’s my fedora acquaintance. He actually may have been for real aspie. Wore a crappy $5 fedora from wal-mart that was black with a red plaid lining and an eagle indentation on the side. He knew far too much about Apple computers, and especially iPads. He did not wash ever, so he reeked of fish (apparently he never ate fish), and his bed had a human shaped dirt stain. SOMEHOW, this mofo had 2 girlfriends at once.
Also I am a weird nerd but I can still draw kyut pop punk girls to me.
lold at “obviously a weird nerd”
i always think it’s super funnysad when people claim that they don’t care what people think about them. obviously if they didn’t actually care what anybody thought of them, they wouldn’t feel the need to say it.
also my dad wants to buy a fedora type hat. probably wouldn’t look as pathetic since he’s almost 50 but i just can’t help but shiver every time he mentions it.
If you aren’t Indiana Jones you shouldn’t wear a fedora.
I kinda give Timberlake a pass too. When you’re that hot/rich/awesome, you kinda get to do what you want.
I went to college with every one of these guys :(
Feel your pain bro. I got stuck in the mandatory philosophy class with one of these guys that brought up Star Trek every single class.
That guy with the blue overcoat: dude, WHERE did you learn to tie a tie? Seriously, I want to speak to the person responsible for this mess. Sort of like how a hot woman can look foolish if she can’t properly walk in high heels, a bad knot just demeans the act of even putting on a fucking tie.
do u even full-windsor bro?
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Fedora’s are lame. I autohate anyone who wears one.
I’ve got an estranged friend who has started down this path of dressing weird (at like the age of 30.. why start now?). I’m not sure how to handle it. On the one hand, I want to patch things up cuz he was one of my best bros and roommates for years and years. On the other hand, I see pics on facebook with a handlebar mustache, weird vests and hats, and I just can’t fathom being seen in public hanging out with him. Nor can I fathom having a heart to heart with a 30 year old man with a handlebar mustache.
Seems like a lost cause.
No seriously where did these top hats come from? I don’t remember aspies wearing those. And wtf is w/ the goggles?
It’s called Steampunk, it’s a sub-genre of Aspergers.
brb documenting this on aspie archives.
DEAD A+
This is seriously the best comment anywhere ever.
Steampunk is my guess, idk I’m not good with these things.
da fug is “japalatin”
?????
It is the result of an active imagination and lack of ability to put it to worthwhile use.
“How enthusiastic I can be when you bring up a subject of personal interest”= 420 SPERGIN EVERYDAY
Also, the “Japalatin” guy and the “I took an arrow to the knee” guy sound like they would be absolutely insufferable in everday conversation
Some people just don’t realize that memes are only funny when they’re on the internet, and even then they’re never really that funny.
just looking at these guys is giving me the strongest case of douche chills i’ve had in a long, long time.
Omg kilt and lederhosen guy is borderline enraging to me because you just *know* that is a result of his heritage being “part german, part scottish, blah blah blah”.
I had a friend that did this in HS/college. He wore kilts, and if you weren’t careful, he would tell you about his fucking tartan colors for hours. He was also obsessed with Jews for some reason, so he would host a seder supper at his house, and he spent an entire year learning Hebrew. He would troll Craigslist for women to bang that were even heavier than he is (350lbs… 100% srs). He was a good guy, but damn bro…. have some awareness and self respect.
“obsessed with jews for some reason”
idk why i found this part of the story so funny
I want to see someone with a zyzz level body make a troll okcupid where they have shirtless pics but wearing a fedora and talking about nerdy thing. Just to confuse people.
Whoa dude. I love that idea. You’re right, you would really need a Zyzz-level type dude to test the boundaries here.
I nominate Sarge. I dunno if he’s QUITE the same level of swole as Zyzz, but dammit, he’s trying!
http://sergeantd.tumblr.com/image/32107842487
lol I second this. Didn’t he say he’s put on some lean weight since then too via dat dere celltech nomsayin? C’mon Sarge, do it for the lulz.
Oh god this needs to be done. The cognitive dissonance would bottle minds at a phenomenal rate!
This needs to happen. Like Avatar.
I wonder if the fedora’s will attack him or crown him their king.
Judging by what happened when he trolled the IMN’s, I am not optimistic. Better have Vyce and his squad on standby with their safety’s off in case things get ugly
I hope these people find this post, see each other and all become real good friends.
“even though you are obviously a weird nerd (or you wouldn’t be reading this site), at least you aren’t one of these people” I take comfort in this fact every day. While I may in fact be an even bigger loser than these people at least I’m advertising it on a fucking dating site! That’s what tumblr is for.