I have no idea how the fuck it happened, but I’ve lived in Ohio for about 15 years. Trust me, I never, ever had any intention of spending half my life there, but Ohio has a funny way of keeping you there: it’s not HORRIBLE, it’s just kinda underwhelming and sad. But not crappy enough to make you feel a sense of urgency to GTFO– you keep telling yourself “I’ll just stay here until summer and save up some money then I’m moving” or whatever, but something alllllllways comes up and you decide to stay just a little longer. But a little longer turns into a lot longer because it’s so fucking easy to live in Ohio and before you know you’ve been here for decades and you want to shoot yourself for wasting all those years.
I know this because that’s been the story of my life since 1996, but I’m finally getting the fuck out of this stupid state and hopefully will never set foot here again. If I wasn’t in such a hurry to GTFO I’d burn the entire state to the ground and salt the fucking earth so nothing would ever grow here again. But that would mean spending more time in Ohio, and fuck that.
If you’re in the NW and want to hang out, hit me on Facebook– I’m super stoked to be back!! Thanks to all the awesome friends I have there for being so good to me, you are all seriously the best.