How to tell if you’re a “Nice Guy” (and how to stop it cause its awful)

Full great comic: here

            Let me be clear right here from the start, nice people are amazing all the time and wanting to be one should be a main goal in everyone’s life.  This isn’t about them.

“Nice Guys”, with the caps and if you’re reading this out loud a little stank in your voice, are not really that nice.  They’re actually pretty shitty people who are entitled little shitheads and incapable of understanding the feelings of others. Its pretty common and understandable if you think like this like in middle school or high school, cause everyone at that age is usually pretty shitty (definitely myself included), but Nice Guys in their twenty’s are a real bunch of life failing sadness machines that just bring my day down like no other.

But it doesn’t have to be like this! I put together some helpful tips so you can tell if you or someone you know is being a Nice Guy, and then get your life back on track to not being a suckfest of a human.

You think you’re better than other people
(you aren’t)

Already wrote extensively about why the Friendzone is Bullshit: here
Wouldn’t you think these people would know how to use the memes they love correctly?

One of the main calling cards of Nice Guys (remember to say it all shitty in your head), is that they think they’re great. The only way they could be rejected is if some ASSHOLE comes along. “But I’m way better than that guy! My niceness KNOWS NO BOUNDS!” Well slow your roll there pal, cause you’re probably awful and don’t even know.

You got to think about what you’re bringing to the table here. Are you nice? Yeah so is pretty much every other guy out there, including the one she’s dating. He’s probably also better looking, smarter, better to talk to, with a better job, a better social status (which is incredibly important), or maybe even just better at sex. It could even be just one of those things, or none of those things if they’re just a good match and have chemistry. That doesn’t make him the inferior jerk and you the superior nicer guy, it just means she likes him and not you and that’s it.

Is that your fault? Maybe, maybe not, doesn’t matter. Is it her fault? Definitely not. Should you obsess over it and hate her? No, you move on and don’t be an asshole about it because that makes you the only jerk in the equation, and a Nice Guy. Nice Guys suck, don’t be one, moving on.

You think you know what women want
(you have no clue)

so many cringes it might be fake but someone like this could totally be real and that’s scary

The most frustrating thing about dealing with Nice Guys is that they think they have a grasp on what women truly want in a man, and that if they keep being Nice it’ll just work out. I’m going to go on record right now saying I have no idea what women want, except that its going to vary highly between women because the female sex isn’t some giant hivemind that only wants one thing. And I’m like a 1000% sure no one wants fat bald fedora wearing bronies who use “pwn” non-ironically and call women bitches and whores.

But also, how unimportant is holding a door for someone or pulling out a chair? I don’t know what the struggles associated with day to day life as a women are and I never really will, but I’m pretty sure having to move doors and chairs will never be a day runiner. This (hopefully fake) person right here brings nothing of value to any type of relationship, but most painfully fails to see how useless he is and thinks just being “Nice” should make him in high demand. “Holy shit he Nice?? no way I don believe it where is the line to ride the D? How could this perfect smart cute niceness Adonis still be single all women must be heartless bitches right?”

So what do you do? Well you start working on making yourself a person other people would want to be with. Get a personality, be engaging, fun, interesting, rich even, seriously anything that could make someone find value in having you around. Doors mostly have those wheelchair buttons now anyway, if that’s all you got you’re gonna be lonely for a while. And that’s because you don’t even have the only quality you think you need.

You think you’re nice
(not even close)

“You HAVE to have sex with me once but I’ll never ask you a second time I’m super nice” – some terrible terrible human somewhere that exists isn’t that super fucked up what the fuck is wrong with you people

The worst part about Nice Guys (super shitty this time, like drag it out for a while), is that they aren’t really nice. One of the biggest indications that you’re dealing with a Nice Guy is that they will tell you how Nice they are. If you’re self-proclaimed anything odds are you aren’t whatever it is and you’re the opposite, which is exactly the case here. Nice Guys say they’re nice, but are really just pretty shitty and kind of hate women.

I like to think the first Nice Guy existed after he was rejected by someone who let him down easy with a “I’m sorry you’re just too nice” type lie. He really took that to heart, and blamed his lack of success on how great he was instead of realizing how terrible he was, and then with further rejection just grew to develop a hatred of all women instead a realization of his own flaws.

For the most part, Nice Guys are really just too wrapped up in their bitterness and entitlement to really think of women as people. They view dating as like a game, a game with which they think they can “win” but are being cheated by these “bitches” and “assholes”. They don’t factor in other people’s thoughts or feelings or motivations, or how they are perceived by others. Women just exist as sex prizes for making the right moves, and if it doesn’t work for you its because “girls like assholes and bad boys and I’m too nice and they’re all bitches and sluts who don’t realize I’m great.”

But that’s not how it works at all, and is an incredibly fucked way of looking at things. You aren’t owed anything for being nice, everyone should be nice. To every person you meet. All the time. Not just because you want to have sex with them. That’s not nice. Dating isn’t some game its making an emotional connection and a one-sided attraction isn’t a connection its an obsession and creepy and you can’t make an actual emotional bond with a woman if you view women as pieces of meat to be won over or deceived into being with you instead of equal HUMAN BEINGS with emotions and needs that have to be met for her to even be interested I mean really what the fuck is wrong with you. Ugh.

“Nice Guys” always finish last

If you are a Nice Guy its not too late, and hopefully you can become a functioning member of society capable of entering into a healthy relationship with a person you actually care about who cares about you. But you won’t get anywhere unless you realize your flaws, how your way of thinking is harmful, how to treat women as actual human beings, and work to be a better person. Remember, being an actually nice person (say it all sweet in your head like with flowers and stuff <3) is great!, and everyone will like you. Being too nice so you get taken advantage of is stupid. And being a Nice Guy is super shitty. Don’t be that. That’s the worst you can be.

You can do it, and we are here for support <3

About Save Parker

I'm a college graduate with too much free time. http://auburn-hills.tumblr.com - where I post cute gifs and rap songs when we finish 'em
This entry was posted in advice, fucking gross, shit that non-ironically sucks and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

290 Responses to How to tell if you’re a “Nice Guy” (and how to stop it cause its awful)

  1. Dave says:

    so many solid insights here. definitely agree that it’s the Nice Guy who views dating as a calculated game and women as sex objects — note both the okcupid’s talking about “whores and bitches” and “fake ass girls”. great stuff man!

  2. roger_camden says:

    {tips fedora]
    “M’LADY”

  3. Walker says:

    1) I don’t even like ‘nice’ as a descriptive term for people. People describe others as ‘nice’ when they have nothing else positive to say about them- that they’re hardworking, smart, funny, etc. It is like if you confront your buddy over some asshole that he is friends with and you’re like ‘dude why do you hang out with that guy he’s such a wiener’, they always go ‘*look at the ground* naaah Dean’s alright, he just takes a while to get used to’, meaning ‘this person has no redeeming features but I went to high school with them and got used to it’.

    2) IMO once you turn into a Nice Guy you’re pretty much beyond saving, as you’ve been warped into a hate-filled monster who refuses to take responsibility for themselves. They are definitely a product of the internet age (along with bronies, tumblr activists, etc), in that they possess undesirable character traits that, in the past, would leave them isolated from others, but because of Tumblr and Reddit and whatnot they are now able to find each other and construct communities where their stupid shit is endlessly repeated, as though they are in a fedora-shaped echo chamber.

  4. Dr. Trash says:

    Urrrrrgh man, the fucking Nice Guys are the worst.

    I have a mate who used to be just like this. Every time a woman shot him down he’d be like “why can’t I get a girl? I’m such a good decent guy! I’ll treat them right and everything!” Unlike a lot of Nice Guys, he was actually a good dude deep down who just unfortunately didn’t have much else going for him and because of this he started going bitter.

    I mostly just nodded and ignored him when he went on these diatribes, then he started turning into a little bitch and cockblocking every time he came out with us. Eventually I got the shits with him, threw him against a wall and yelled in his face:
    “Bro, do you know why you don’t get laid? Huh? It’s because you’re a whiny, fat little bitch who lives at home, works at a servo, doesn’t ever do anything interesting, has never achieved anything that doesn’t involve Halo, doesn’t ever have anything to say for himself other than “why can’t I get laid” and has become such an annoying cunt that even I’m getting sick of you and we’ve been friends since we were 8!”

    He ran off crying and I felt kinda bad – I thought I had gone too far and really hurt him – but a few days later I saw him signing up for my gym. We didn’t talk for a while, but I started seeing him around the neighbourhood with a girl who was about a 6 /10. They broke up a few months later. I thought he would be really down in it so I went to comfort him, but he was like “nah man. I feel great. What you said to me that night, I mean, it really hit me. You were right. I was being a bitch. I mean, sure, it sucks, but at least now I get it. Women don’t just throw themselves at guys for being nice any more than they throw themselves at you for being a scumbag. You know?” He’s got another girl since and they’re one of the happiest couples I know.

    So to everyone who knows a Nice Guy – they can grow out of it, but sometimes it requires a pretty big push to start doing so. Don’t be afraid to be the one to give them that push – sometimes it’s necessary if you do care about them.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Why did searge delete his last post? Too many truths? Hypocrite.

    • SyndromeOfADown says:

      Due to The Great Aspie Controversy of 2013!

    • 3rdgrace says:

      You tumblr social activist people are like school bullies.

      Last post got deleted becasuse it caused a lot of negative attention and the smartest thing was to just cut the whole crap. It’s as simple as that and I support Sarge 100%. Even if he didn’t do anything wrong, the arguing just isn’t worth it. But for some reason people like you just need to always push the conflict further. Like the oponent should beg for mercy on their knees and cut atleast three fingers of do pay for their “wrong opinions”. The school bulling is actually pretty good comparison, cause you can see it on the tumblr all the time – people who claim to be for a social justice and good cause act like total shitheads sharing numbers, work/school contacts, names and addresses of real people, without even realizing that they may screw over some decent teenager who made some stupid remark and just doesn’t know better.

      • Dr. Trash says:

        This.

        Aspie Alert: I have strong political convictions and often engage in activism for causes I believe in – however I try to do so in ways that are actually practical, like going to rural Australia to help build homes for Indigenous people or teaching English to new migrants.

        However, Tumblr warriors really shit me because in reality most of them don’t give a shit, they just wanna seem cool.

        • dingdong says:

          I know that feel bro.

        • Isaac says:

          Dude I support actually helping people and doing shit 1000000000% but tumblr social justice warriors are just circlejerking, annoying douchebags

          • Dr. Trash says:

            Agreed. I got into an argument once when I saw a bish with both an Endworld photo and a Stop Domestic Violence thing on her page. Made her butt hurt like she’d just eaten my dad’s cooking.

    • People were being mean. No need to discuss it further, please.

    • fuzz says:

      more like too many LIES *ba-dum tss*

  6. Ty says:

    I hate those kids. srs…

  7. Autodidact says:

    “Wow u r a decent human being, I give you my vagina Sir Fedora of Neckbeardia!”

    said no girl ever…

    Really, why do people expect a reward for acting decent towards another person? Shouldn’t that be how society works, ppl being decent to one another?

  8. Seamus says:

    I remember being 18 and literally being everything that SYWH mocks; aspie music/”nice guy”/loser.
    3 years on and I literally could not be happier, except for the moments when my past is brought up and I awkwardly look at the floor and make some sheepish apology via being so embarrassed.

    It shows how important SYWH has been for some people like myself. Love you dudes <3

  9. fxckdatbish says:

    well played sir. the true meaning behind the infamous phrase “nice guys finish last” revealed. you never trust a person who repeatedly asks you to “trust them” for they are most likely the most untrustworthy of them all. i do not care for nice guys or as i refer to them “captain save a bishes” because behind it all they are just creeps. as you stated in a very legit matter they are the worst kind of weirdo the kind that just wants to fuck but hides behind creepy “nice guy” behavior. i feel like dudes who land in the “friendzone” land there because girls see right through their bullshit. they know this guy is not spending all this time with them because they are really good dudes. hence my rule of thumb and probably every hot chicks rule of thumb. never trust somebody who repeatedly tells you that you can trust them. god dammit i hate a captain save a bish.

    • fxckdatbish says:

      PostScript

      i enjoyed the comic quite a bit as well.

    • Ali-cat says:

      Well put. And guys often land in the friendzone simply because WE AREN’T ATTRACTED TO THEM. That doesn’t make me a bitch. Selective, sure, but not a bitch. l’ve had four -count em, four- guys in my entire life turn me down when l was looking to hook up (all were single, but l wasn’t exactly sober in every situation), and l’m 37 and still hot, and guess what. Those are the ones l respect the most. A nice guy is one who WON’T have sex with you for whatever reason -especially if you’re drunk- and won’t make you feel shitty for it later. Not the ones who make you feel shitty for it because you won’t.

  10. TLDR says:

    Good article, p similar to the one you linked that you wrote about the friendzone almost exactly a year ago. Great comic too thx 4 sharing.

    IMO getting into the nice guy/friendzone trap is an understandable mistake to make once or twice in your life, usually when you are pretty young like teens/early twenties. The important thing is that you learn from it and prevent falling into the same trap again. It’s when this type of behavior is habitual that one becomes a shit person. \

    I’m embarrassed to admit I think I’ve been a “nice guy” twice in my life, the first time was in high school and not too bad really, pretty typical failure. The second time, ugh….. sooooooo much regret. I really just wish someone had told me this, even in an asshole, super blunt and inconsiderate way. Instead, I had to wait it out until I finally realized what I was on my own… and how much time and opportunity I wasted being a retarded shitbag.

    Regretcore moments….

    • Save Parker says:

      They’re related concepts, so this is kind of like a sequel. But I really thought the Nice Guy attitude was worth looking into further. The last article was about why you can’t complain about the Friend Zone because its your own fault, this is more about how to stop being the type of person who would complain about the Friend Zone because they suck.

      They should really teach a class in middle school/high school about this and related topics. its an easy trap to fall into, I’ve been there for sure, and not figuring out until later why you’re fucking up just hurts so bad later.

  11. tears of buttstration says:

    the problem is, these guys expect girls to be into them just for being “nice”, but they themselves only want cute girls out of thier league.

    • Vince says:

      BOOM!

      Also, “Why won’t she leave him and be with me. I’m such a nice guy” yeah well if you were you wouldn’t be trying to ruin somebody’s relationship, you stupid dick.

      • Ali-cat says:

        “Also, “Why won’t she leave him and be with me. I’m such a nice guy” yeah well if you were you wouldn’t be trying to ruin somebody’s relationship, you stupid dick.”

        BOOM. RIGHTFUCKINGTHERE.

    • livalot says:

      And BOOM goes the dynamite… then when the girl who is in their league likes the guy… they smirk because “I can’t lower my standards brah!”

      • livalot says:

        And BOOM goes the dynamite… then when the girl who is in their league likes the guy… they smirk because “I can’t lower my standards brah!” I also am brand new here… I believe the Nice vs Good seems to be confused with people with NGS… Nice Guy is not the same as Good Guy… for pop culture references Nice Guy = Theodore Twombly (who needed his OS to teach him how to be a Good Guy)… Good Guy = James Bond who needs a few lessons on how to be nice… Find a person who is a good and nice person whose quirks you find endearing and not deal breakers… that is the goal in romance… Well in my opinion which isn’t valid in the least.

  12. YANNO says:

    Could possibly be the best post ever posted on this site.
    Thank you Save

  13. Butt Hand says:

    How can you not say the word faggot and then write this about nice guys as well. So hypocritical. You pretend like nice guys aren’t normal. What has this site become.

  14. justindisgustin says:

    Nice Guys complaining about girls only liking some dude “for his money” or “for his looks” miss the ultimate obvious irony, which is that in reality no meaningful relationship is built based upon a single positive attribute a person has. So, just being nice is about as useful as just being rich, or just being attractive. In reality, the rich guy is probably also a decent dude, or else the relationship will be shit at the end of the day anyway. They want to be valued as a full human being but lack in most departments, and are unwilling to accept that harsh reality. If girls only wanted rich buff dudes I would be a virgin for the foreseeable future. Oh, especially lulzy is the 3/10 dude who gets mad at 8/10 girls who don’t want to date or fuck. I see this all the time. Fucking groce, maddening delusion.

  15. Loucifer says:

    “Doors mostly have those wheelchair buttons now anyway, if that’s all you got you’re gonna be lonely for a while.”

    Srzly brightened my early morning commute. Thanks for a great article Save!

  16. BLEH! says:

    Solid post, backtard.

    Like most negative behaviour, I think this stuff stems from guys wanting to avoid the cognitive dissonance of facing facts-
    “it can’t be me i’m nice it must be because girls are bitches etc etc”

    In reality they are expecting the LACK of negative traits (they aren’t physically abusive or whatever) to count as positive ones (‘well he’s unemployed and smelly but at least he’s never killed anyone’), which is obviously never going to work.

    The observation that the internet simply empowers this behaviour is spot-on as well.

    • sandwiches666 says:

      ‘In reality they are expecting the LACK of negative traits (they aren’t physically abusive or whatever) to count as positive ones (‘well he’s unemployed and smelly but at least he’s never killed anyone’), which is obviously never going to work.’

      This part describes my last long term relationship to a T. Feels fucking bad. I’d like to think I’ve shaped up since then.

      • BLEH! says:

        Feel 5 u bro, we’ve all been there in one way or another.

        The main thing is to focus on what you can do to be an actual nice human- not what your shitty brain says you deserve for not doing stuff that no-one should do anyway as a given.

    • Ali-cat says:

      ‘In reality they are expecting the LACK of negative traits (they aren’t physically abusive or whatever) to count as positive ones (‘well he’s unemployed and smelly but at least he’s never killed anyone’), which is obviously never going to work.’

      Bingo. And frankly, every human has negative traits anyway, so those are going to show through and it’s up to their partners to decide if that’s something they can hang with or not; therefore, not having killed anyone doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Don’t tip or talk down to your server? Strike. Namecalling during conflict? Strike. Act like your woman is stupid if she doesn’t like the same shows you do? Strike. These are only three of the things that have made me cut a ‘Nice Guy’ out of my life.

  17. Well excuse me if I think treating women with respect and integrity is more important than degrading her to her face just because you people think that society (one that is very very sick in this mans opinion) has trained her since birth to only respond to abuse like a salivating dick starved dog. In the end I will stand vindicated in my knowledge that I did not sink (and stink, if I may be so bold (from here on referred as IIMBSB)) to your depths to satiate my base urges.

    I arrive home from work early in the morning from my very important job and everynight I have ample opportunity to observe female and male interactions as the inebriated slobs stagger out of their local dance halls and disco booths. The thing that stands out he most is how the standards of women have dropped over the last 10 years to the point where literally being mean to a woman turns her on. It is Pavlovian IIMBSB. In the e-book I am writing titled ‘The Decent of woMAN’ I have expertly outlined the dynamic affect this change has had on society and the inevitable hierarchy of meanness that as resulted.

    For example.

    Who is the most mean? Obvious answer. The Government (if you dispute this you are a complete twint, IIMBSB and I have no words for you).

    1. The Government oppresses MAN. Man who works hard for his keep.

    2. Man is deeply and spiritually enraged by this on a subconscious level but the conditioning from childhood prevents him from realizing this. So he takes this out on Woman, in mean and spiteful turns of phrase.

    3. Woman who are naturally born Tabula Rasa react positively to whatever powerful men and since women are surrounded by powerful men since entering the work force they are turned on by mans cruelty towards them that is rooted in his oppression from the government.

    4. Of course this takes a strain on women after a while and they too need a form of release, this is occurs in the symbolic slaying of powerful men through the rejection of wise and enlightened individuals who do not abide by this system of ignorance. She is torn between her spiritual need for a true man, signified by his affinity for garbs and ornaments from days of yor ( yes even the fedora, haha laugh it up) and her programmed arousal of the pseudo-alpha males cruelty.

    5. The true and enlightened male at this point has realized that this is a zero-sum game and opts out of the field of play entirely. Devoid of positive male role models society will head towards collapse from within and at this point woman will become true and enlightened in their desire for a true and enlightened man once they see the pseudo-alpha’s inability to provide and structure society.

    I hope you consider this thoughtfully and remove this post and replace it with my own. To do so would show true and enlightened integrity and is the first step along a path of gold.

    • Save Parker says:

      Getting this post in my email legitimately frightened me, but seeing it is from good ol’ Feathered Derpent made me feel so much better. Where did you find this disgusting and actually scary rambling of a psycho that hopefully is some out there joke instead of real thoughts? If you made this it is next level and would read your full length book seies “The Rise of Fedoras”.

      • TLDR says:

        The Rise of Fedoras

        Someone should write an article with this title. IDK about what (fake movie promo, etc), but it needs to happen.

        And no dont suggest that i do it it wont be good enough

    • Garrrrr says:

      thats a lot of typing bro.
      stop caring so much.

    • Anonymous says:

      holy shit.

    • fuzz says:

      holy shit you are so so so so out of touch with the rest of society that it’s barely even funny

    • RickRoss says:

      lol as if ppl don’t know feathered_derpent and think this is not a joke #noobs

    • VyceVictus says:

      A+ comedy

      • Ali-cat says:

        Yeah, sort of, it is. But damn, l really wouldn’t want to encounter this boy in real life. And if l made the mistake of going on a date with him (assuming he got past the initial get-to-know-you process, which l highly doubt), l’d be excusing myself to the bathroom and dipping out the back door, yo.

        • Did I come on too strong? I usually save my ironic manifestos until the third or fourth date.

          • VyceVictus says:

            There’s nothing like parodies of excessively strong negative opinions which elicit genuine negatively strong opinionated comments to spark the romance.

            • Ali-cat says:

              Heh. Okay…if it was meant to be satirical, then it was brilliant. Otherwise, yeah, l’d be looking for an escape route.

    • Space Bro says:

      F_D, you are one crazy man. You have the ability. A+

    • Adward says:

      A+++++, wood read again

    • saywhat says:

      C/P’d from Timecube?

    • Ali-cat says:

      Um. Featheredwhateveryouare:

      You need to up your meds. You (a) know not a goddamn thing about women, and (b) NONE, and l mean NONE of your post actually conscientiously addressed the topic at hand. lt was a rant -a political one that has nothing to do with women- and one that clearly demonstrates your lack of understanding of the world, or the opposite gender. l would not want to encounter you in a dark alley, a ‘disco booth’, or even at a fucking coffee shop. Tell your mother to update your prescription. lt looks like you’re due.

      • VyceVictus says:

        Chill bitch, its a joke comment.
        (My sardonic use of “bitch” is also in jest)

        • Ali-cat says:

          Alright, hon, l hear you – and no offense taken…but it’s hard to tell right off the bat when people who are apparently regulars (and authors) are tweaked by another apparent regular, so one assumes things; and hey, if he’s just someone whose sense of humor is unique, l can roll with that and readily admit my assumption to be wrong. Still, that thing made no sense whatsoever; even someone with the sick and twisted sense of humor l have -along with a sense of irony- might be momentarily confused. l’ll remember to withhold comment until l get better used to the individuals.

  18. Garrrrr says:

    think this topic has been a little overused lately.

    sucks that fedoraguys still dont get it doe.

    is there hope left in da world?

    • zunathustra says:

      yeah, i also think this is a bit of a tired topic since everyone but the fedoraguys should get this stuff. but this article was good and to the point.

      i think basically the only time you’ll hear a decent human being call himself ‘nice’ is when he knows he’s been kind of an asshole, probably has been accused of it, and wants to be clear he’s not being mean-spirited or ‘just in it for the nookie’. treating people like people is, like, so important.
      of course one should follow these words up with not acting like an ass more.

      • TLDR says:

        havent seen u comment in a while, stoked to see this username again

        • zunathustra says:

          late reponse but hey! yeah, i haven’t left or anything. if i don’t post it’s usually because i’m either busy and/or i just don’t have anything i want to add. i should really get into the habit of ‘letting it all hang loose’ like you

          while i’m at it, just to be clear about what i said above, obviously i’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting the nookie and working for it. especially when a girl is the first one to make things sexual, if you just go ‘haha, you’re cute’, it’ll probably frustrate her and make her self-conscious. somehow i’ve managed to make this mistake with multiple girls!
          but if you can’t even say something nice without just thinking of it as a means to getting it in, then that’s Nice Guy territory.

          • Ali-cat says:

            “but if you can’t even say something nice without just thinking of it as a means to getting it in, then that’s Nice Guy territory.”

            Yep, you got it. l don’t care even if l know you’re looking for nookie (hell, so am l most of the time), just don’t make it so transparent. Have some genuine *something* about it that has nothing to do with the nookie, and l won’t care as much about your intentions. Thing is, l’ll know when you’re being fake, so don’t play like you like me if you don’t. Women know that shit.

  19. Mister Booze says:

    I once saw a web comic were a dude complains to a chick “why don’t women like nice guys” and the gal replies “because nice guys are passive aggressive jerks”. If I could find it I would post it here.

  20. 50s-dad-snapback says:

    10/10 post, very insightful. Committing some of your points to memory, got a feeling I might need them sooner or later.

  21. 420official says:

    “If you’re self-proclaimed anything odds are you aren’t whatever it is and you’re the opposite” I can’t stress this enough – let your actions speak for you. Great post, bro!

  22. Notderek says:

    Great article dude!
    If only I could have read this when I was 15 I would have saved myself a lot of self-inflicted heartache, and now extreme embarrassment over being a “nice guy”.

    You CAN grow out of it, but it involves looking at yourself in a way that will probably make you feel pretty shitty at first. Once you identify what’s actually wrong with you, besides being a “nice guy” and are still young enough to make changes, and willing to make those changes, you can go from a “nice guy” into a decent human being.
    Get hobbies outside of the internet. Go hiking, or running, or bird watching even. Keep up with what’s going on with your local sports teams (this will help you make normal guy friends to hang out in public with). Learn how to “dress nice without looking like a fancy lad”. STOP thinking “I guess ill just masturbate instead” every time things with a lady don’t go the way you want. This disease is beatable. But like any disease you have to beat it, before it’s too late.

  23. cmoney says:

    That feel when you realize all your favorite bands are niceguycore

  24. CynicalEmperor says:

    Totally relevant post!!! I kind of had a “nice guy” period (nothing too bad thankfully) where I was wondering why girls didn’t like me for all the nice shit I did (never voiced it out loud like an aspie, thank God) but after a while got a gf based on interests and not me trying to white knight her constantly. When we broke up a while back, I kind of fell back into “nice guy mode” before realizing now that (thanks mainly to the help of this site) that’s a bunch of bullshit. Yeah, it’s cool to be a nice dude, but you’ve also got to get your sociable self back and be outgoing. Still trying to find that wifeable sweetheart but not going to be butthurt if things don’t work out like a fairytale.

    Posts like these are so relevant that I don’t even think the writers know how much they really are helping people by writing them.

  25. Your Mom says:

    So this article does make a lot of valid points and I liked your “why the friend zone is bullshit” article too. So why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?

  26. i heart hunting accdents says:

    I laffed and laffed,for srs this ruled.Best not-D post yet.

  27. policerespond says:

    i love this post
    i love these comments
    i love this blog
    i love you save parker
    i love everyone here

  28. grymboner says:

    A common thread and a very important point touched on in this and the Friendzone article is personal responsibility.

    If a bish is not into you, It’s YOUR responsibility to walk away. You only have yourself to blame if you get hurt or friendzoned.

    If bishes aren’t into you because you suck, It’s YOUR responsibility to fix yourself.

    I’d be a liar if I told you that I understand women any better than I did two years ago, but by Gawd has my life changed since I started owning my actions.

    TYBSP

    • Save Parker says:

      Honestly believe personal responsibility is one of the biggest factors to lead towards long term success and happiness.

      People who blame everything on something else are never happy. They’re never doing well. And they never get better because they’re too busy blaming others instead of taking action. They’re just shitty people circling their shit life without ever realizing they have all the power to change things. Its a sad, sad existence.

    • Notderek says:

      This.
      I now realize that every time a girl told me “let’s just be friends” as a teenager, she wasn’t “friendzoning” me, she was being a nice person and not saying “you’re freaking gross, stop wearing only black band shirts and listening to exclusively to metal”. Took me until I was 18 to finally realize the problem was with me, not EVERYONE ELSE.

      If a girl says she’s your friend, but uses you for stuff, she’s not putting you in the friend zone, she’s just a shitty person. It’s your job to NEXT her out of your life, not be bitter towards every other girl.

      • Ali-cat says:

        Well, there IS the girl who is your friend and DOESN’T use you for stuff. There’s a middle ground there. And friends help others out, so ‘using you for stuff’ can be a subjective sort of phrase. Just sayin.

    • Ali-cat says:

      “I’d be a liar if I told you that I understand women any better than I did two years ago, but by Gawd has my life changed since I started owning my actions.”

      THIS. On both ends, honey – women need to learn this lesson too.

  29. Aaron says:

    I agree with this article but holy shit, could you scream “social justice” any louder? Next time go for a tone other than “butthurt feminist”.

    • Heyyyy says:

      did you see the comment that inspired this post? dude was nanners and legit hated women, like one step away from choppin up choirgirls and body pillows to sew together the ultimate waifu. plus he seemed to think Parker was a girl, so he did that whole ‘the nice guys are in the friendzone where you bitches and whores left them!!!’ spiel.

    • 50s-dad-snapback says:

      this doesn’t scream social justice, dude. this is a smart bro dropping wisdom for teens and/or any bros a little behind the social curve. it ain’t just tumblr who thinks fedora brony freindzoney guys suck.

  30. Jen says:

    What’s also interesting to note is that whenever there’s a friendship that one person wants to turn into something more, it’s always the girl’s fault when it’s rejected.

    * Boy and Girl are friends, Boy likes Girl but is rejected: It’s the girl’s fault because she’s a bitch/slut/can’t appreciate a “nice guy.”
    * Boy and Girl are friends, Girl likes Boy but is rejected: It’s the girl’s fault for being a weirdo/creep/psycho bitch/stalker.

    When a girl likes a guy, there’s never really the equivalent of “friendzoning”, she’s told to just get over it. Any girl who would try and pull this bs routine would get ostracized so quickly for being a creep/stalker/psycho bitch/whatever.

    The overall message seems to be that boys deserve anybody they want, but girls have to settle for the people who come to her, whether she wants them or not. It sucks.

    • roger_camden says:

      The overall message seems to be that boys deserve anybody they want, but girls have to settle for the people who come to her, whether she wants them or not.
      What?
      Please elaborate.

      • Save Parker says:

        P sure she means the overall message from people with the Nice Guy syndrome, not the message in the post.

        And I agree, hoping the creepy friend zone guys can get ostracized so this behavior doesn’t continue.

      • Dana says:

        He’s right. There’s no such thing as being friendzoned when you’re a woman. If a man doesn’t want you, your job is to shut up and go away. Unless he thinks he still wants to be your friend (meaning his personal therapist to hear about all his other relationships that go wrong), in which case you are expected to stick around with a big smile on your face and act like nothing’s wrong.

        Ask me how I know.

        • Save Parker says:

          Girrrrrl, ain’t nobody got time for that bullshit. But actually not saying anything leaving and moving on might be a good advice. Depends on the situation, hit me up if you want to talk about it, or read the linked FriendZone specific article. Written from a male perspective cause its more common but the info works for any gender you got.

      • Dana says:

        SHE’s right. Jeez. I need to read usernames more closely.

    • Ali-cat says:

      Girl’s got a pretty valid point. Roger, it’s a catch .22. lf women want to get laid, they can do that with just about anyone, whether he finds them attractive or not. lf she wants a relationship or something more and she somehow puts out the wrong signal -even if she’s just trying to let him know she likes him and isn’t clingy or weird- she’s done. Guys will flip out and run the other way.

      Conversely, if a man is looking for a relationship (or, frankly, to get laid) and a girl rejects him, she’s a bitch – how DARE she turn him down?? lf a guy rejects a girl, depending on her view of the world and herself, maybe she’ll feel insecure about it or maybe simply move on. Still, there’s an interesting power differential there that l find fascinating.

  31. Pat says:

    Them feels! I’m 18 I’ve been doing stupid shit like this for most of my life and only really recently got out of it. I’ve only ever really had one girlfriend and that was because she liked me first for some reason I’ll never understand. This site has helped me so much with realizing how much of a dumb intolerable asshole I could be. I’ve even met a couple girls that something could possibly happen some day with. So to all the guys that are like me, just know it gets better! everything Parker says here is true, just work on yourself, maybe start going to the gum. its alright if you listen to weird stuff, hell i listen to fucking drone music, just don’t be an intolerable asshole about it and be open to to other stuff. All you need to realize is that its up to YOU to fix yourself.

  32. John says:

    Parker and Co, are any of you married or have been married? Are you in a long term relationship? No? Then you’re not qualified to give relationship advice. Stop masturbating to porn and come back when you have actual life experience to back this up.

    • BLEH! says:

      As a polygamist I find your comments triggering and othering. Please check your privilege.

    • TLDR says:

      This is not relationship advice, its how to not be a piece of shit who blames women for not liking you.

      And also, you just committed the ad homimum fallacy, attacking the person rather than their argument. Even assuming Parker had never been with a woman in any way, he could technically still give good relationship advice, the same way a fat slob technically could devise a healthy diet, even if he doesn’t follow it himself.

    • fuzz says:

      lol @ assuming no one here has been in a LTR

      • Ali-cat says:

        Actually, the problem with a Nice Guy’s approach is precisely that his approach won’t get him one, and l’m in one because l don’t fall for the silly manipulative bullshit a lot of them pull in the name of being ‘nice’.

    • cougar party says:

      Signed “Nice Guy, John”

    • Ali-cat says:

      Really? Okay. Put your money where your mouth is, because as a woman -a taken woman- l find this single (or taken) man’s article to be right the fuck on. So. What’s your superior advice about women, big boy? Don’t drop some condescension on everyone here and then dip out. Give us your wisdom. Especially us females, since you clearly know just exactly how we think.

  33. TLDR says:

    Also, I hate how Nice Guys are always complaining about HOT girls friendzoning them. Like I don’t think Ive ever actually seen an average looking girl accused of friendzoning, it seems almost exclusively to be the realm of 7/10 and above.

    You’re not really a nice guy if you were only interested in a girl for her looks, which is obviously the case most of the time

  34. nu♘♘tej says:

    Now that G4 is changing its format these guys will undoubtedly go underground again, I’m almost going to miss them.

  35. Lionel Richie says:

    They’re nice guys, until they’re not.

    http://i.imgur.com/0clT7.gif

  36. beholdthesharktopus says:

    Sorry, was too busy cooking a nice dinner for my hot-ass OTW girlfriend while lifting weights without a shirt on in my living room as she stares at my toned traps and pecs and abs to come up with a response sooner. Take notes, fedorafags. This is how you make a girl love you. Lift weights and cook her really good jambalaya.

    • Dr. Trash says:

      This. I’ve missed a few gym days recently and feelsbadman. I wanna lift and pull them wimminz.

    • Ali-cat says:

      LIKE.
      l don’t really care so much about lifting weights, honestly, but as a Cajun, if you can cook good jambalaya, l’m fucking THERE. Just make sure mine isn’t better than yours.

  37. Matt Jones says:

    I heard that bishes have a similar syndrome to the ‘friendzone’ archetype, called it the brozone? where the woman becomes too much like a masculine-male friend type vibe in an effort to get the D from the boy she wants to bang, and the male puts her in the ‘nah i couldn’t date you, you’re too much like a dude’ category.

    If only bishes knew how much power the vagina holds… oh wait

    • Bromst says:

      Sure, putted a couple of girls into the brozone, but more importantly is the fuckzone. In which you only talk to her looking for sex and nothing else, despite them wanting an actual relationship or whatever. Really, doing this only applies if you are kind of a shitty dude but like whatever don’t judge me fuck you.

      • fuzz says:

        I had this sort of relationship with a girl once but she turned out to be a vindictive, spiteful person so I don’t feel bad about it at all

        • Bromst says:

          This are usually with smashable, borderline-crazy if not full-on crazy kind of girls. The kind that are actually dumb enough/play dumb enough for you to actually pull this kind of shit behavior on them.

          Never wifing material at all, otherwise you’d actually consider a relationship.

    • Ali-cat says:

      This happens naturally to me at times, and it usually has nothing to do with getting the ‘D’. l’m just not girly enough for some, and sometimes it’s mutual – we just know we’re going to be better bros without fucking shit up. Some want me more because l’m NOT so high maintenance, which happens more often than not and then l get men who are actually worth my time, but l’m sure the friendzone happens both ways.

      Also, we know exactly how much power the vagina holds. lf we’re not assholes, we don’t abuse that knowledge. Also, if you’re going to go as far as calling us bishes, just call us bitches and be done with it. l ain’t offended by it at all, l’m just saying it seems silly to change its spelling as though it’s not still exactly the same thing you’re referring to. Unless it’s a British thing.

    • Dana says:

      Meantime Girl. (Google it.) I think I misspoke elsewhere when I said women aren’t really friendzoned. This is pretty close to it whether or not it’s exactly the same thing. Sometimes the guy wants to f**k you and sometimes not, but what he does *not* want is for whatever there is between you to be called a “relationship.” You’re most emphatically NOT his girlfriend, and if you ever implied you were, you’d be relegated to “psycho bitch” category in point-two seconds.

      It’s tough to walk away from that sometimes because you really do care about the guy and you really do want him in your life and you wish you knew just what that one missing element is that keeps him from wanting to claim you on an emotional level. But I’ve never been in that type of situation where I *didn’t* eventually have to walk away. Twice they came around and decided they were interested enough in me. Guy #1 turned out to be nuts in a very bad way after we got together, and Guy #2 kept taking me for granted til I got fed up with him, THEN he wanted to be exclusive. So he basically would just rather chase after things he can’t have. Fine with me, he can go chase something else.

  38. HandsomeDan says:

    Solid post A++. It’s not hard to just chill the fuck out, get over yourself, and find a girl that wants to hang out.

  39. xFredSavagecorex says:

    There’s a couple of problems these types of guys need to address:

    1.) Because this problem mainly stems from them not knowing how to pull a girl, they need to learn how to do such a thing. Wether it be through asking a friend for help, or just diving in blind, they need to learn. This will save them becoming “Friends” with said emotional interest and put a bullet in any soon to follow drama.

    2.) The other reason why this happens so often is because these guys are trying to pull a girl well out of their league, just for her looks. Not just is it creepy to do such a thing, it also makes no sense. Like if the girl is a 9/10, why is she going to fall for some derpy 5’6 dude. They need to find someone they like as a person and matches them looks wise.

    • TLDR says:

      The other reason why this happens so often is because these guys are trying to pull a girl well out of their league, just for her looks.

      THIS ^^^ is why its bullshit that they think they’re nice. A truly nice guy would be interested in other things like compatibility and accomplishments and stability etc, not just fall head over heels for a pretty face. It’s fine if you want to pursue girls for their appearance, but if thats the case you can’t get mad when you fail and instead need to work on improving your game or whatever

    • carly says:

      PSA: if you’re a derpy 5 or 6/10 dude, be funny, us girls like that shit a lot and will drop below our respective attractiveness levels for funny guys

      or at least have a cool/interesting/legitimate hobby like hunting or fishing or something manly and outdoorsy, slaying dragons does not count as actually going outside

      point is that guys can get girls out of their league, but they have to have be you know, a real dude that does real things

      • Save Parker says:

        Looks is just one part of the equation, I’ll always say finding the right match is more important, but if you want a beautiful person you have to have a lot going for you to get that interest. Harder because there’s more competition if anything, but always bring your A game and get yourself up to a high level of human being if you want to stand a chance against anyone who is ‘out of your league’.

        • carly says:

          i’m really not trying to too my own horn, but i’m probably an 8 or 9/10 girl and my boyfriend is a derp. i love him, but i know i would normally be “out of his league.” but he was cool and friendly and we had similar interests- it just clicked. i think some guys need to have so more confidence in who they are, especially some of the readers on this site. you all have the ability <3

      • xFredSavagecorex says:

        I meant 5ft6 dudes. I know you girls aint got no time for that!

      • Ali-cat says:

        That’s a girl l can get on board with! Way to represent, sister, and extra points for the slaying dragons bit.

        And yes, funny goes a LONG way. l may have a man l find hot as hell, but he’s hot also in part because he makes me laugh.

  40. anon says:

    i generally think that there’s no such thing as people being better than one another, everyone has faults.
    i don’t really know what women want aside from security and stability, but then that’s a given for anyone so i just kinda focus on my interests and developing myself as a person (i can always get better than what i am now)
    and i usually think i’m a bit of an asshole at the worst of times (and admit it when i am) but i try my best anyway.
    am i a nice guy? i’m not really sure. i just want a relationship where we both support each other you know?

  41. I am from Yurp says:

    Good post.

    Have you ever witnessed a situation when some such asshole actually succeeds, and a naive girl falls for their shtick? Well I have, and its not pleasant. Because they know they’ve got no actual substance to keep the girl interested for long, they are the most jealous, and often aggressive and violent, jerks imaginable. Deplorable scum…

    Another tragedy is when there is an actual nice guy who gets friend-zoned all the time, and you know that he’s a good person, and deserves some equally nice girl. A good friend of mine
    has tons of great attributes, but I’ve been trying to hook him up with my female friends with zero results. Part of the problem is I think due to him being so used to his “old bachelor” lifestyle that being in a long term relationship actually scares him, the other part being that his standards for girls are ridiculously high (or he’s using them as an excuse not to try anything in the first place). Oh ye wise sages of the internets, how to help him?

    • xFredSavagecorex says:

      Actual nice guys don’t get freindzoned, due to having sufficient social skills. Take your bro for a night out and wingman him, then partway through a convo with a girl, leave him to it. Once he gets the hang of talking to girls in a filirty/non-passive way, he can get in there (if he is an actual nice guy).

      We love you and your bro, we’re always here to help the two of you <3

    • Dr. Trash says:

      I’m an arsehole by any definition of the word, but I don’t think I need to be jealous or violent to keep her around. I just need to give her the D.

      Srs – whether you’re a sweetheart or a scumbag, the only way to keep a woman is to make sure they’re always attracted to you. However that may be. Remember why she fell for you in the first place and keep doing that.

    • Ali-cat says:

      lf it’s either/or, or both, he’s in for a run. Please refer to my original ‘ass with sass’ post at the bottom there, just in case. However, while l generally advise folks to UP their standards rather than lowering them, l’ve met a few sooo picky that they will NEVER, EVER land a person who isn’t God Almighty. So. lf he’s one of those folks, maybe he needs to prioritize.

      l don’t know what to say about a long-term relationship being scary. That’s the case for 99.9% of men and at least 80% of women, so sucks to be human. He needs to get over it.

      Look. Women will ALWAYS know if a man has ulterior motives, limited commitment, etcetera and so on. lt’s an intuitive thing. So if he’s failing to be genuine -or doesn’t honestly know what he wants- it’s going to be obvious whether he likes it or not. Quick question, though – you say you’re trying to hook him up. Does he want to be? Or is he just needing a friend with benefits? Nothing wrong with that, but the motivation changes the outcome.

  42. Save Parker says:

    deleted it c’mon guys don’t be like that

  43. toast says:

    yea raichu you’re spot on here. this whole article is basically what i want to say whenever i hear someone complain they are “too nice” for girls to like them and that girls only want jerks. unfortunately i can’t find an quick way to say that without wanting to go on a big multi paragraph rant so i just go watch some funny youtube vids instead (AND DONT READ THE COMMENTS)

  44. anon says:

    What about those guys who fail to score but take it out on themselves, instead of the girls who reject them?

    • Save Parker says:

      that’s normal and probably healthy unless it gets too bad and self-esteem gets real low, which is unhealthy.

      • Alex_P says:

        Having lived that through my teenage years, it’s definitely NOT healthy to take it out on yourself. No one should judge their self-worth by who they’ve managed to fuck. It becomes a vicious cycle, and you get trapped in negativity. The switchover to Nice Guy from there is not a difficult one.

        • Save Parker says:

          Yes this is true, let me backtrack a little.

          If you blame yourself for not getting with ladies, or any other aspect of your life that is lacking, it should lead towards a realization of your own flaws. A healthy response to this realization would be working to correct the areas you think you lack in, and would lead towards self-improvement, growth, and with enough work, happiness and a better self-worth. That is the ideal response.

          Oftentimes people fall into the trap of blaming themselves, but then just not think they’re good enough and giving up trying to get better. This is the unhealthy response, and can lead to spirals of sadness and hopelessness that are difficult to get out. Its really hard to get out of this negative way of thinking, I’ve been there, you just get sadder and sadder and really ‘give up’ on trying to make yourself better. Its rough.

          So I would say that acknowledging your flaws is healthy, but negatively attacking yourself is not a good response to that realization. Always staying positive and hopeful can lead towards personal growth and improvement, and this would be the key in taking your flaws into strengths and really loving who you are as a person, no matter what other people think. <3

          But like most things, this is a lot easier said than done.

          • Ali-cat says:

            l love SP’s response here and totally agree. Beyond that, to be absolutely truthful, ‘lt’s not you, it’s me’ very often is a hundred percent true. l’ve thought l was ready after a relationship to start again, then l wasn’t. l’ve thought l was ready even though l was busy, but then l had too much to devote enough time to the person and it wasn’t fair. lt’s rarely personal. Don’t lose heart.

  45. Latinoheat!!! says:

    da fuck you guys talking about?? anyways….

    when’s the next MS shop dick pic post going to cum!! i miss those =[

  46. Lars says:

    METALLICA!!!!

  47. Anonymous says:

    Carly you sound like a whore.

  48. xIAMGLOOMx says:

    pretty much my whole young adult life consisted of suffering from a mild case of Nice Guy syndrome. got over it at like 23 and its been great. late to this whole ” being a fully functional person” but dgaf. what’s sad is that one of my best friends still kind of suffers from it. while reading this and all the support given in the comments, I’m pretty sure we could turn this into a homework assignment and change some peoples lives. do some good for the world.

  49. Dr. Trash says:

    Just spent some time with my newborn nephew introducing him to my son.

    Sarge rejected an old article I submitted for SYWH, but I’d really like to post something on children and (actually) being a dad at some point. Even if I fucked up in making kids without planning to do so, I’ve always tried to be a good father – separate crazy mofo me from dad. Given that many SYWHers probably want kids some day, it seems like it would make sense.

  50. Jordan says:

    I think Nice Guy syndrome is kind of like the “slave morality” that Nietzsche talked about (when people deceive themselves into thinking that their weaknesses are actually some sort of moral superiority). I say this because Nice Guys are actually defined not by their “niceness” but their “passivity”, but they tell themselves that passivity = niceness so that they can think of themselves more highly than those who are really more successful than them… if that makes sense?

    • TLDR says:

      Interesting observation (srs)

      • Ali-cat says:

        Yes, interesting -and probably right- observation. lt stands to reason that folks who are aware of their weaknesses and lack of whatever need to justify either the imbalance or the rationale somehow, so to make it superior would be the most typical way of doing that. lt’s like having a little dick and owning a Ferrari.

  51. Yup says:

    This guy seems really nice: http://i.imgur.com/0s8XhuF.jpg

  52. Lars says:

    Metallica gets to fuck all the bitches!

  53. squidshift says:

    tell me more of this posi circle jerk

  54. Lars says:

    Blackend is the end!

  55. TrianglesAreAwesome says:

    I think you have it backwards here. Or at least there is some confusion about different what i’d call pop/modern culture definitions.

    Firstly, there’s a difference between a “nice guy” and a guy who is just trying to emote, mate and or make excuses for why he’s not perceived as appealing to women. I feel that the whole “nice guy”and ‘friendzone’ concepts was created by chauvinist men who wanted to get laid but didn’t for whatever reasons. Hence the I don’t get it I’m a”nice guy” but no woman wants to sleep with me what’s going on thought process. The motive simply being nice to have sex is not consistent with the whole idea of what an actual nice guy is. The she put me in the friend zone is a conception of those ego hurt chauvinists who do believe it’s their right to sex from women.

    I’m a nice guy. I do things for others whether women or not because I can, am able, and want to not because I expect sex in return. I befriend women who I find intellectually stimulating because they provide some value to my life. I don’t have any sort of preconceived notion that my niceness should somehow grant me access to the vagina.

    However, I do find these scenarios to be a bit of a two way street sometimes. You see pretty, intelligent women who are always complaining about their relationship situation and the lack of attention their boyfriends are giving them. It’s hard to empathize with them for me because there they are chasing guys who have a proven history of being douchebags. Some people are not right for each other. Having a boyfriend who is out sleeping around acting like a douchebag is a douchebag. There’s no, oh the nice guy in the friendzone is just angry and jealous about it. However, when you try to explain this to them. It’s no no no. you’re just trying to get in my pants. I love him. etc etc. I have had this happen with women who I considered just friends and had no desire to be anything more than just friends with. But sometimes women’s own sense of importance and ego can get in the way of these friendships too. Not every guy just to wants to fuck you if you’re a good looking woman. Not to say a lot don’t. But, not all of us. Unfortunately ego is something both male and females have. And It does work both ways. So you can’t always have your cake and eat it too. Not all, Instead of saying nice guys let say “good men” look like Brad Pitt. And, the good men generally don’t have time for silly little love games as they say. A real nice guy or what I’d prefer to call a good man knows that he will meet the right girl who loves him for him. As a good nice woman knows the same. If it isn’t right it isn’t right.

    but really you can blame these lame ROMCOMs for the whole idea oh why do I always chase after the asshole when the good guy is right under my nose. But the good guy is also just as good looking as the asshole because it’s fucking hollywood. And not everyone looks like fucking david beckham.

    • Save Parker says:

      I think the gist of what you’re saying is that sometimes guys don’t want to sleep with women, but those women won’t listen to those guys when they say their boyfriends are cheating on them and its obvious. Generally, that situation can happen, but isn’t really what this post is about specifically. We might disagree on some finer points of the long thing you said, but mostly we’re on the same page and just disagreeing with made up terms a little bit.

  56. EazyECore says:

    Although I am late thank you Save Parker for making this. It’s hilarious. Also posted on my 21st birthday. Best present ever.

  57. Anonymous says:

    Parker, you make good points but that comic is just fucking retarded.

  58. CapItalI says:

    Has anyone ever actually heard a girl say “im so sick of assholes all I want is a nice guy” or…?

  59. oleole says:

    I don’t know if I’m a “Nice Guy”, lol, but I am certainly a very considerate person. So you believe just because I’m nice you think I look down on guys who are not. Honestly, I give a fuck about other guys. Let them do their thing, I do mine and I don’t do my thing to please you, girls, but because that’s who I am and how I like myself best. Yes of course I experienced “Nice Guy’s finish last” too, but I think you ladies got a wrong idea about “nice” here. I am true to myself, i have to, just like any other person on this planet has to be true to oneself to be a whole person. I respect people like that, even if the assholes. I respect General Patton or any other asshole who has a point of view and strong convictions and fucking LIVES by it, just like respect myself. Being nice, compromising, a harmonizer is what I am good at and if you see that as a weakness, I am sorry, you are not my type of girl. You like to see me struggle for higher social status, riches or some other bullshit, so you can admire me, I must tell you I don’t play that game at the cost of my personality. And that is MY strength!
    You know what I respect? A woman that doesn’t need leadership or looking up to someone, especially a prospective boyfriend. What are you? a mouse? How am I supposed to respect YOU if you need that shit from me? I want you to be strong and have your own mind, I want you to claim your freedom from all the bullshit around us, like social status and stuff. Fucking find pride and peace within you. It doesn’t have to be against anything, it just has to be FOR you.
    Seems to me there aren’t many woman like this and it sucks. Instead you want ME to be strong and a leader. I am sorry, but i love you and that means I am interested in YOU, not myself, you want my lead, my only lead is, leading you to lead on your own. Instead you ask me to fight senseless battles in a world I mostly give shit about, so you can admire me. When did “us” get out of fashion?

    • Ali-cat says:

      That’s not the point of the article. YOU sound like a stand up man with a backbone and a sense of yourself. HE is talking about someone else. HE is talking about a guy who blames women for his shortcomings, be they mental, emotional, physical, or any combination of the three. He is talking about men who think they are owed something for being nice; you are clearly not that kind of man. You really ARE nice. You really ARE a man that women would want to be with (l assume, anyway, based on your articulate post), so get your big boy shorts out of the wad they’re in, and read the article over. lt’s not referring to you, or anyone like you.

  60. Ali-cat says:

    After reading this article, l posted it on my Facebook with this comment.

    So in my mind these women are comprised (very generally speaking) of two groups:
    (a) The Victims. They go for men who are abusive in whatever manner (emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually, or all of the above) and then act as though it had nothing whatsoever to do with the choices THEY made, and that it’s all his fault. He may be a slimy, disgusting piece of shit that would have been better off never existing in the first place, but you chose him. (Disclaimer to any and all of my friends who have been in abusive relationships: Yes, l understand the cycle that happens; l’m not blaming you or degrading you. Sometimes we fall in love before the abuse begins.)

    (b) The Kinky Ones. We (and l’m included in that) have kinks, even if they’re mild. We like some sass with our ass. TKOs (l like the unintentional double entendre there) want a man who’s conscientious, kind, forward-thinking, smart, yadayada, etc. etc. But we DON’T want a man who’s going to be a little girl (not an actual WOMAN, mind you, a little girl). Namely, jealous, possessive, whiny, overattentive to the point of being suffocating, overapologetic to the point of having no backbone because he’s soooo afraid he’ll lose us if he stands up, over-…well, over everything. Too much emotion and drama, not enough throw-you-against-the-wall-and-talkdirtytoyou kinda guy.

    Don’t get me wrong; women love romance and poetry and all that frilly shit. But if we wanted to date girls, we would. We still love chivalry, and we also still love manlymanly men. A Nice Guy is just a male version of The Victim, except instead, he thinks he’s better than what he really is, which is just a bitch. And women Victims keep forgetting they aren’t.

    • Save Parker says:

      You left so many comments and you really get it and thanks so much being vocal and awesome <3

      I never thought about breaking down the type of women who reject nice guys, but those two would be very large portions of the pie. I feel for the most part its just women who aren't attracted to the guy at all, like you said in some comment above, but pretty much every woman I know would fall into category B. No grown person should want to date someone who is a little girl mentally.

      • Ali-cat says:

        Thank you for the compliments! As far as breaking it down into female categories, that’s how l tend to perceive it, largely because l have so many ‘nice guy’ friends (who really ARE nice, just kinda clueless) that my advice on getting a woman needs to come from the other end, so it’s more about category A is the one you keep attracting, and won’t make you happy; category B is the one you DO want; she’s going to admire you even when you’re naughty…but she still wants you to respect her – then again, she won’t much put up with you if you don’t.

        l’m not trying to define why or how my boys are, it’s typically only going to make them feel worse. So my advice stems from how to grab a woman’s attention; since none of my guys are abusive assholes, it’s about building confidence and reminding them that women aren’t always delicate flowers. Sure they like to be watered and pampered here and there, but get that bitch WET and you’re good to go! The main two points that stood out for me after reading the comments here are
        1. Don’t take it personally if you really are a nice guy and she rejects you; she may be category A, and not know a good thing when she sees it, and
        2. Find your own likes/dislikes/kinks/whatever first. Those will help your sense of self, and give you something to work with when trying to break the ice.
        Peace.

        • Save Parker says:

          Definitely 100% could not agree further that you need to find yourself before you really get into a serious relationship. Its mostly a young teenage thing, but often guys just try to fit into the mold of what they think their crush wants and even if you are successful in attracting that person, it will never really be a fulfilling relationship because you aren’t really being yourself. But that’s some basic ish.

          If you ever want to talk more about this stuff feel free to head to the forums, I could on and on for hours about this stuff. Its way more interesting than the accounting homework I’m putting off.

  61. Ben says:

    Interesting site I’m 59 and still don’t understand women , I write songs thinking I do but it’s all a fantasy. Real relationships are a ton of work
    I’m in a relationship now with someone 37 my junior. Will it work well for writing songs it does
    But it’s like raising a child I love her but its a constant challenge to understand her

  62. Ben says:

    For all the young guys . Guess what you don’t change as you get older if anything you get worse on your evolution with women you think the same basically but are in a older body just a head ups
    So don’t expect Father Time will make you all grown up its bs

  63. Deman says:

    Hmm, so I’ve never fell in love with any girl. But this year I did and so we ended up dating. Eventually we kissed but then a date week later she tells me she rather be friends with me.
    It made me reflect on myself and I came to the conclusion:
    I’m to nervous about nothing
    To shy
    I get to desperate if I really love a girl
    I shouldn’t fear rejection

    So yea, I’m still friends with her even though I still love her. We have a great time everytime we are together but it gives me a sad empty feeling when I get reminded that we are only friends and that we can’t have a great life together, because as long as I have a shit feeling about friendship it ain’t a good friendship.
    To build my confidence I went to a psychologist, didn’t help shit. Also I started lifting weights to build some muscle, seeing how I’m a really skinny guy. And to beat shyness, I guess I’ll practice that on other girls if I meet any I like. I’m somewhat of a late bloomer, got bullied into the ground for 6 years long. She really helps my confidence grows.

    Anyway, just curious. What type of guy does this make me?

    • Save Parker says:

      You just seem like a normal person man, pretty much everyone has been through what you’re going through now.

      Just don’t get hung up on that girl, you aren’t together and that’s fine, its for the best. You sound like you’re getting your shit together and that’s great, but making sure you’re doing everything for YOU, not for her. And don’t “practice” on other girls, go try to be with other girls. You can do it man, you have the ability.

  64. callitcollat says:

    Hey man, not trying to troll here or anything, but you do refer to women as “broads” in your article bio…

  65. Joshua says:

    Question: I’m in middle school, and I was voted “Nicest Guy”. I generally hold doors for people and help out with things. Does this mean I’m an awful person?

    • VyceVictus says:

      This aticle isnt about actual nice considerate people, it’s about “nice guys”, people under the delusion that they are decent when they are actually passive-aggressive and contemptuous.

  66. Azet says:

    Great article but tarnished for appearing alongside misogynist bullshit like this: http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/2011/08/lets-talk-about-different-kinds-of-stupid-girls

    That said, perhaps in appearing here it will reach its intended audience.

    • VyceVictus says:

      BTW, please don’t take this as an attack on all women- rather, take it as an endorsement of the ones who AREN’T like this. So if you know a girl who is smart, normal and cool, please take a minute to thank her for being awesome after you read this!

      Its two sides of the same coin, this article is an admonishment of a certain type of guy the same way that article is of a certain type of girl. Get over yourself.

      • Azet says:

        The difference between the two is so incredibly staggering – the fact you can’t see that just makes it clear you are the intended audience for both articles. One challenges you, slaps your wrists and tells you what a scumbag you are, whilst the other holds you close and tells you there there… Let’s take it in stages – here, enjoy a bit of misogyny dressed up as satire. We won’t judge you.

        Fucking ingrate.

        • VyceVictus says:

          Sarge doesn’t need me or anyone to defend him, but your comments show that tumblr social justice warriors like you, for all your grandstanding and proselytizing are nothing more than sanctimonious assholes. My/the readerships actual social progressiveness has nothing to do with the context of comedy, because this is ultimately just a comedy blog. The intended audience is people looking for good laugh, not humorless wet blankets like yourself. Go preach somewhere else.

        • Save Parker says:

          Ya’ll are getting into it and I don’t want to get involved on fights on the internet, but really the only difference between the two is audience and tone. This one is more advice about how to not to be a shitty type of person, the other is jokes about different types of annoying people. The audience for this one is the annoying people, the audience for the other is people who want to avoid the annoying people.

          • xFredSavagecorex says:

            It’s mind-boggiling how these people miss the obvious joke and see these post as some kind of attack on people. Or are they just intentionally missing the joke, so that they can call someone out over the inter-webz?

  67. holy shit at drama still going in this post

  68. Simon says:

    Bra-fucking-vo!

    I am so happy that there’s a backlash against these losers.

    I can’t even type “Friend Zone” without heaving!

  69. Travis says:

    i used to be the nice guy now since 2014 iam entering idgaf mode man screw the nice guy routine its get u nowhere but hurt and toture and i dont like that toturing crap

  70. Daryl says:

    Fuck this shit. Not every “nice guy” falls into this category. Some nice guys may very well be bitter but it’s not because they are looser at heart. It’s because they are tired of stupid girls and their bull shit. Obviously this was written by some price who doesn’t have a clue.

  71. Was Just analyzing throughout . I appreciate your content. Do write a bit more of this concern ok. Appreciate it

  72. Inside a couple of minutes, I might commence my instructions.
    You could participate in as usually as you wish, along with complete
    control over the interest rate on the recreation. The dialogue travelled something
    similar to this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>