Have you ever had delusions of tr00ness?

delusionsoftr00ness

Every day I witness more and more people around me having delusions of tr00ness. What are delusions of tr00ness, you ask? Following the same idea of having delusions of grandeur (when someone believes that they’re the shit but they really aren’t all that), people who have delusions of tr00ness are convinced that they’re really tr00 and that they’ve been that way from the start, when really they’re just compensating, sort of like how I pretend to be alpha on the internet. I don’t know why this trend has been increasing over the years, as I find it quite cringe-worthy personally. Like, if you’re going to try to become somebody you’re not, at least make it something cool. Not a nerd. Lol. Stupid betas.

Case #1: Buddy Nielsen (Senses Fail)

buddytr00Buddy Nielsen’s past history with his delusions of tr00ness is actually somewhat aggressive. To establish his territory in the tr00 community, he started beefing with Neon Pop and Hollistercore bands, kinda like that asshole kid at school who picks on other kids to try and climb the social ladder so he can be cool but really he’s just an insecure bitch. He should change his name to Bully Nielsen, cause that’s pretty much all he is, a bully. It is sad to see such an important spearhead of the scene movement go down this path.

In this video, Bully Nielsen talks about his beef with All Time Low and Boys Like Girls. I think it’s weird what he says at the end about how Boys Like Girls will never experience a “meaningful” relationship with their fans or whatever. How does he know that they won’t change their image and start playing a watered down version of what they conceive as “real” music until they realize that people only care about their old stuff, so they go on a 10 year anniversary tour for their first album to try and maintain what little fanbase they have left? I mean, that’s what Senses Fail did, right?

Prognosis: I would say there’s not much hope left for Buddy. He is probably in his 30′s now and him latching on to any potential untr00 trends in the future would just be weird and unlikely. He is basically going to become his generation’s version of Kevin Seconds once Kevin Seconds retires and moves into a nursing home (IE like now).

buddysexy

LMS if u remember when Buddy was sexy

Case #2: Ron Jeremy

ronjeremy

What happened Ron? Did you sexually contract the music taste of one of the teenage girls you were fucking? Did you have a striking realization that a lifetime of producing smut was too empty so you “got your feels on” by relating to the faux-angst of a bunch of confused upper-middle class youths? Remember when you used to be scene? You taught us cool new mosh moves so we could throwdown to ADTR and disrespect our surroundings in the pit.

throwback to when Ron Jeremy was scene

Prognosis: I anticipate that Ron Jeremy will make a full recovery. He seems to genuinely not give a fuck about age (dude became scene when he was like 50), so as soon as the inevitable scene/neon revival comes into play, he’ll probably jump on board.

Case #3: Kyle Fasel (Real Friends)

Kyle, don’t think I didn’t notice ur bitchass hiding in the merch tent in that last pic. You’re one of the worst offenders of this shit. Kyle is an example of how a person having delusions of tr00ness can also be commonly linked to depression and malnutrition. Ever since being diagnosed with the condition, Kyle has experienced unhealthy weight loss, extreme sadness, intr00sive thoughts and alarming despair. Someone needs to get this dude a neon uptake, stat.

watch this video to learn about kyle’s depressing life story

daverockett
…and don’t think I forgot about that time I walked in on ya boy Dave Knox wearing a Rockett shirt and reading a 2009 edition of AP magazine. Sorry I forgot to knock, Mr. Knox. That was quite obknoxious of me. “Huh?! I only wear this shirt to take dumps with, I swear!” Yea right. Save the excuses son. I’m exposing all of y’all. Real Friends? More like Real Fakes.

realfriendsconvo

You disrespected me, Kyle. Now I gotta to put ya squad on blast.

danetid

#rare and #based photo of scene-era Dan Lambton

danadtrshirt

“and we could listen to a day to remember and talk about high school, just like we did the years before”

dangoldhat

ur face when u just got exposed

Furthermore, I tried analyzing some of Kyle’s lyrics to get a grasp on how serious his condition really is…

realfriendslyrics

Then I found some of his spoken word poetry…

lol dafuq this is creepy

Prognosis: I would say that Kyle’s case is terminal and there is no hope at all for him to get better. Plus his spoken word is on some pretentious hipster shit. He’s probably one of those people who buys vinyl just to upload pictures of it onto instagram and doesn’t even listen to it. Kinda like those posers in middle school who bought pokemon cards to show them off but didn’t know how to play the game. Smh. He will never be accepted back into the neon community.

but remember the good times…

& be on the lookout for the new Real Friends album

realfriendsnewalbum

Have any of ur friends ever had delusions of tr00ness and u had to be the one to sit them down and set them straight? Have u urself dealt with having delusions of tr00ness? Should Kyle Fasel start embracing the neon lifestyle again to find true happiness?

About uppercut613

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51 Responses to Have you ever had delusions of tr00ness?

  1. THayes says:

    OOOOOH!!! Shots fired!!!

  2. Should’ve answered Bryan Stars lame question with a vicious 2-piece to the jaw/eyeball.

  3. TLDR says:

    A+ article, lol. Sadly, I think I have a rare meta-case of delusions of tr00ness. It’s like the MRSA/ORSA of DOT – I never got past the atthegatescore style metalcore, and instead of transitioning to deathcore or dropping out I transitioned to Real Hardcore about 8-9 years too early. Upon finding SYWH and realizing the error of my ways, I tried to claim tr00 deathcore/EZ cred but although I was around when these genres were in their prime, I mostly ignored them.

    :’(

    • uppercut613 says:

      if you ever need anyone to talk to about your case, im here to help bro. <333 SYWHers are a family

  4. John says:

    “We were just kids who didn’t know who American Football was.”

  5. KT Cuffari says:

    This is the best article.

  6. SolarFlareSuperior says:

    I saw senses fail live last year and buddy started talking shit about attack attack and how he was overjoyed that they were breaking up and was hoping that “real” music will bemaking a comeback. Easily one of the most cringeworthy things I’ve ever seen in my life

  7. this guy has the comments says:

    i don’t know shit about buddy nielsen and i always thought senses fail were boring as fuck, but their last album goes hard.

  8. Anonymous says:

    1) too much time on ur hands
    2) does any of this really matter

  9. Poucho Marx says:

    strong post, lol’d @ “what happened Ron!?” – would incredulously ask him in rl. but why is the guy in that picture behind him cumming!? v disturbing, DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A FAMILY FRIENDLY ENVIRONMENT!!

    have never listened to real friends but those exclusive pics seem like some important scene leverage or whatever. maybe u can blackmail them into including some hot breakdowns/synth on next album and then have singer vaguely justify it to fanbase eg: “no…no, don’t boo us…you see, these sounds were a part of our past…and our past…is REAL!!” *slow smattering of applause breaks into raucous cheering as quote quickly hits 10000 reblogs on tumblr*

  10. BryanStars in gay porn says:

    U used my interview =D I was like “buddy let it enfold you was my MySpace gfs profile pic idk what she looked like xDD”

  11. Nightshift says:

    I got Senses Fail confused with Sense Field so I youutubed senses fail. Sounds like any other band on the soundtrack @ pac sun .

  12. Name says:

    Hopefully this article helps burst the tr00 bubble – brb borrowing my sisters hairspray

  13. Nils says:

    hahaha

  14. LCDNewOrder says:

    I love seeing pictures of Kyle Fasel now with facial hair and permanent angry expressions on his face, and then seeing him with scene hair and neon shirts.

  15. BiffBoss says:

    Renacer is by far my favorite SF album, but Buddy is still an ass.

  16. NotZackBraff says:

    Those Scene-Dan pics are the best thing on the internet right now.

  17. Sean says:

    But which is the WORST of all tr00ness? There’s so much of it and all in all of it’s crappy smugness, but my vote goes to metal tr00ness. Say what you will, but those guys (not me, I am a former IMN who rather not be associated with gross-as-fuck neckbearded virgins) pretty much started that back in like 1993. And smells they do. Like pure dook.

    Nowadays I’m all about Nike Air Max 90′s, khakis, snapbacks, and being positive about life.

  18. Kris says:

    Kyle from Real Friends appears to suffer from False memory syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome). Kyle may have been traumatized via being bullied by proto-tr00 pop-punk kids so much that his brain created an entire new set of memories from 2007-2011. He now truly believes that his neon days never happened and that he grew up listening to American Football and Mineral.

    • Bronson says:

      As someone who did spend high school listening to Mineral and American Football, I get the exact same feeling reading that the Indians must get when they see some clueless hipster girl wearing an Indian headdress at Coachella.

      “You white motherfucker! I spent YEARS being ignored and persecuted for enjoying the traditional music of my people (coddled, oversensitive, middle class suburbanites) – now you parade it around like it’s some cute accessory or something. I wish you would have turned your ship around and gone back to fucking neon island where you belong and left us alone!”

  19. sauce says:

    jesus christ that spoken word. the whole never grow up thing is just embarassing. like seriously, your goal in life is to just be in some mid level pop punk band and writing songs about a relationship that probably lasted 6 months over 4 years ago? real friends has some jams, but those dudes seriously seem like dorks and getting made fun of is 100% warranted.

  20. #1DMXFAN says:

    Does anyone remember that article on here about Matt Skiba making fun of mascara people in that H20 video?

  21. Anonymous says:

    Seems to me like you are a bully yourself. Senses fall’s music, all of it, has played a huge role in my life. People change and grow and alter themselves in the process. You need to put yourself up there as one of your cases

  22. Hahahahhahahahahah says:

    Wow this might be the most pathetic thing I have ever read. You’re calling Nielsen out on something that he did years ago. Who gives a shit anymore? That has blown over. Obviously you have nothing better to do than pull up shit that has happened in the past, quite sad if you ask me.

  23. Blah Blah says:

    Author of this seems a little jealous… And queer.

  24. Anonymous says:

    this person is trying too hard to bring scene back from the dead by putting people on blast

  25. nimplysaked says:

    I have no idea who any of these bands or people are so this was kind of an exhausting read… but I always back callout articles, just because it’s funny

  26. doesntmatter says:

    wat the fuck. this is thr stupidest shit ive ever read. dont hate on ppl who are more popular and successful than you

  27. Anonymous says:

    Seems like the author suffers from this problem far worse than any of the so-called “cases” being mentioned.

  28. Luke says:

    Fuck everyone. Buddy is truly talented. I’m a huge fan of senses fail. They keep things fresh and their last album was unreal. So what he talks some smack to other bands, the other bands should stop sucking eachother off and talk shit back! It’s a mind game buddy is playing with them. All time low and all those other shit bands suck. They’re all the same. My point is, Buddy is a great song writer and vocalist, senses fail is a great band, he just wants to express his feelings about other bands and no one should bash him for it.

  29. Anonymous says:

    What the fuck did I just read?

  30. 5uitup says:

    what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent article were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  31. 1337glied says:

    Isn’t the writer of this article a bitch too? Not that i care for any of this bands here i dont listen to pop punk or care for any of this bands but he sure sounds like one.

  32. confused says:

    then in turn by writing this article you are doing the exact same thing to these people on your “list” here that you are accusing them of doing? sounds like you are the bully. you are just like the people you throw stones at. take a look in the mirror and know that you don’t know shit.

  33. Jordan Murphy says:

    Actually Buddy has changed, he said in the future he will refrain from uneccesarily talking about other bands negatively. He said that he doesn’t regret what he said because well it was true. Bands like brokencyde have no true passion, they only lust after teenage girls and write songs about it (the majority of the songs are about it). The author of the article can’t be more wrong about the 10th Anniversaire tour, claiming it’s the band are trying to cling on to their old music for fans. Very false. All their albums have taken a large leap with sound. Especially the latest. You said that they were going to be playing watered down music of what they had already written to cling to their old sound but a big fat no to that.
    The writer of this article needs to do some research on this matter because they clearly have not listened to the latest record Renacer. Huge differences in sound between each record.

  34. LMC says:

    I hope you rot in hell for targeting these bands. Like you really have nothing better to do with your time? Making up words to trash bands? This was so uncalled for. They all had to start somewhere, they all grew up. Maybe you should join them ya fuck. If I ever see you, I’ll make sure to kick you in your pussy, you Disney channel loving bitch. Go fuck yourself you fucking piece of shit! You liked Real Friends on fb ya dumb fuck. Go die in a hole.

  35. kaylee laevallee says:

    Who ever published this sounds like a whiny little bitch. Just saying. You must be a miserable person to take the time to write down why certain bands/people suck.you probably don’t like them because you’re so much like them OR you’re mad you weren’t successful like them.tbt

  36. Mcierv says:

    I’m 30 and I’ve liked more kinds of punk/ hardcore bands and subgenres then I even care to mention. Every gen has great bands and lame ones. Everybody changes. The “scene” changes every 18 months like clockwork. I think this crop of bands is a lot better than recent memory but as always scene police everywhere. Listen to what you like. Fuck tr00ness evaluations. You wanna talk about shitty? I remember when Midtown was a huge band.

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