Author Archives: jorbam

Jorbam Hyperbole Reviews: Nails – Abandon All Life

Posted on April 21, 2013 by jorbam

With an album cover plagarising my 8th grade algebra notebook cover from when I was super into “dark fantasy,” Nails’ new album, Abandon All Life, is so angry and full of malice, every child in an abusive family, in the … Continue reading →

Posted in bands i like | Tagged , , , , , , , | 64 Comments

Unorthodox Business Models for Aural Product Manufacturers

Posted on March 20, 2013 by jorbam

I’d like to thank you all for attending this panel at Your Local Music Conference That Totally Isn’t A Cash-Grab.  The title of this panel is: “Lay Back And Accept It: Unorthodox Strategic Strategies For Your Dumb Band.” Now let … Continue reading →

Posted in advice | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Two studs from the Times drop knowledge ’bout awards show lulz etiquette!

Posted on February 28, 2013 by jorbam

If I had to describe Stuff You Will Hate to someone who had never visited the site before, I would have them watch the video above and then say, “The exact opposite of that.” I didn’t watch the Oscars because … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 52 Comments

Our kid is just cooler than most other kids, you know?

Posted on February 15, 2013 by jorbam

We’ve got Tank Girl (YES, THAT’S HER NAME) already eye-rolling at an 8th grade level. Tank Girl chooses to listen to Crass, Bad Brains (obv), and Citizen Fish (with daddy’s guidance of course).  Daddy couldn’t dance for too long because … Continue reading →

Posted in white ppl | Tagged , , , | 64 Comments

Magic Hugs bring teh lulz

Posted on February 12, 2013 by jorbam

Hey errbody. Are you sitting at your cubicle of proletariat misery, waiting for someone to post something new to Facebook?  Is your subreddit for Doctor Who /fic like a ghost town today?  Well, here’s something to frantically minimize as your … Continue reading →

Posted in lulz, youtubes | Tagged , | 42 Comments

SYWH Book Club!

Posted on February 9, 2013 by jorbam

Just to let you guys know, I don’t own a TV.  I never have.  The computer I’m typing this on is an old Tandy 1000 in the office of the local vegan, low-emission co-op that I volunteer at.  Don’t worry, … Continue reading →

Posted in nerds, stuff white people like | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 108 Comments

King of the Nerds Monster Manual

Posted on January 24, 2013 by jorbam

I was predisposed to hating King of the Nerds.  If you’ve read some of my other posts on here, you may know that I begrudgingly share interests with many annoying people who think they’re different from everyone else.  My initial … Continue reading →

Posted in nerds | Tagged , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

Let’s Talk About Your Shitty Band

Posted on January 15, 2013 by jorbam

Right off the bat, if you’re younger than 25ish and you’re in a band, you can stop reading if you’d like.  Go off and have fun but for the love of fuck MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AN EXIT STRATEGY. Ok, … Continue reading →

Posted in advice, bands who are just ok, bands whose music I enjoy from a very safe distance, being old, creepverts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

Jorbam’s Top Whatever Games of 2kWhatever

Posted on December 28, 2012 by jorbam

Hello attractive reader.  If you’re reading this in a timely fashion after its initial posting, it should be right after the holidays.  If you’re reading this well into the future, please teleport me a Laser Xbox 1080 with a copy … Continue reading →

Posted in video games | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

Attack Attack!: A Cautionary Tale for Youngsters

Posted on December 22, 2012 by jorbam

“Dammit, boy.  Now I’ve told you a bunch but you just wouldn’t listen. Take your iPod out of your ears and put down your video game.  The boys that done good by their victory at Some High School’s talent show, … Continue reading →

Posted in crabcore, middle class teenagers who live in the midwest | Tagged , , , , , | 37 Comments