Author Archives: Sergeant D

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever

MATTY MULLINS releases solo album that sounds like a crappy christian version of BRUNO MARS

if u ever thought to urself, “i wish there was a band that combined the phony, insincere, lyrics that OF MICE & MEN write so that troubled high school girls with low self-esteem will tell them ‘u saved my life’ with … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

There is a new THE ACACIA STRAIN single, what do u think of it?

When it comes to absurdly downtuned chugcore, I think “Wormwood” still holds the title for the pinnacle of the genre. Like all the best albums, it’s accessible and catchy [via retardedly simple chug riffs] but keeps things interesting with variations … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 39 Comments

The sad tale of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Myspace, the scene was ruled by a quintet of Christian lads from Dayton, Ohio who went by the unlikely moniker of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. The scene-prophets held council and declared them … Continue reading

Posted in what we think about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

Record stores are sad, pathetic places for sad, pathetic people

My mom always told me that usually the things we hate about other people are things that we actually hate about ourselves. And maybe she is right, because as a former comic book-collecting, wrestling-watching, metal-listening dork, there are very few … Continue reading

Posted in what we think about stuff | 136 Comments

There is a new NEW FOUND GLORY song and its fucking awesome

As someone who grew up in the same “graduating class of hardcore” as Chad Gilbert (although I was a senior when he was a junior), I’ve always felt like I was cheering for the home team when it comes to … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , | 33 Comments

YOUTHGROUPCORE is the best genre of music imo

I’m not a Christian, but I always kind of wished I was. As someone who grew up in a family of drug addicts, losers and criminals, that stuff has never really been exciting or interesting to me. When 5 of … Continue reading

Posted in what u do after school when u live in the suburbs, what we think about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Top 20 songs that emo/scene kids know (in 2009)

It can be difficult to get nostalgic about 90s hardcore. And not just because the music is incredibly shitty– it’s hard to even find documentation of most of that stuff since, well, the internet didn’t exist. Fortunately that is definitely … Continue reading

Posted in what we think about stuff | Tagged , | 68 Comments

EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: New DROWNING video (ft fat kids moshing in a banquet hall)

Our buddies in DROWNING were kind enough to provide us with an exclusive premiere of their new video. In case you’re too busy with your career as a high-powered attorney/financial planner or satisfying your 10/10 girlfriend’s insatiable desire for sex … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , | 48 Comments

Bands u may have slept on: TURMOIL

Back in the mid-late 90s, the big trend was what we called “noisecore” at the time. Pioneered by RORSHACH, DEADGUY, and KISS IT GOODBYE, “noisecore” was our term for the bands who played heavy, metallic hardcore with a skronky edge. … Continue reading

Posted in bands i like, bands u may have slept on | Tagged , , , , , , | 41 Comments

CYRIL’S MEMES is the best thing on the internet xD

As someone who has been on the internet since 1994 or so, it takes a lot to impress me in terms of zany internet content. With that said, I feel confident in saying that CYRIL’S MEMES is the single best … Continue reading

Posted in lulzy pictures, what we think about stuff | 25 Comments