Author Archives: Sergeant D

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA release my new favorite shirt

Unsure if this is brilliant satire designed to antagonize metal dorks, or if it’s just another case of 2014 metalcore kids hopping on the 90s death metal bandwagon 20 years too late. My heart says that it’s the former, but … Continue reading

Posted in lulzy pictures | Tagged | 45 Comments

If u like generic risecore check out CURSED SAILS (ex WOE IS ME)

This is the new band featuring two of the guys who used to be in WOE IS ME but are not in ISSUES. They are also on Rise, most likely because Rise signed them to a 42-album deal that will … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 40 Comments


As u know, there are few things I hate more than kids in their early 20s rehashing shit from when *I* was in my early 20s without adding anything new to the formula– especially the 90s basement emo scene, which … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged | 42 Comments

Not sheriff I like this Russian slam/nu-metal/deathcore band

Pros: Opening riff is sick Extreme abuse of wiggerish arm movements Absurdly loud/clipped bass drop Cons: Tremolo picking/skank beat Europeans Rapping (mitigated by the fact that it is not English) Unsure where I stand on the masks. On the one … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged | 41 Comments

Peep the new SUICIDE SILENCE song/video

Stoked that these guys are back in action, and that they sound as good as ever– obviously Eddie isn’t the same person as Mitch so anyone expecting a Mitch clone will get buttmad, but I think he sounds great in … Continue reading

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , | 34 Comments

A look back at BROKENCYDE

If u want to feel really old, consider this: BROKENCYDE has been a band for almost 8 years, and their ‘breakthru single’ “Freaxxx” came out 6 years ago. And while it’s kind of a bummer that they are still a … Continue reading

Posted in bands i like, what we think about stuff | Tagged , , , | 35 Comments

Which of these dumb bishes is the specialer snowflake??

left off “fat upper arms” the world’s biggest classic rock fan

Posted in lulzy pictures | 32 Comments

Ughhhhh god mom get out of my room and shut the door


Posted in lulzy pictures | 38 Comments

Let’s talk about “amazing” bands

Hypothesis: there is a nearly perfect, negative correlation between how much people describe a band as “amazing” and how “amazing” they actually are. Basically, the more people online call a band “amazing” the more likely they are to be pretentious … Continue reading

Posted in what we think about stuff | 86 Comments

Not sheriff extremely advanced parody or terminal case of assburgers :/


Posted in lulzy pictures | 35 Comments