bands that never got anywhere then disappeared: easycore edition

easycoregirl
damn, shes cute. hopefully she’s easy in more than one way xD

With Tr00 Pop Punk (also known as Post-Easycore™) in its stride and Soft Grunge quickly gaining more and more popularity, the days of First Wave Easycore are long gone and in the past. Devout fans have been anticipating the Second Coming of EZ for quite some time now. Their newest sign of hope being Four Year Strong’s Instagram videos of them playing some surprisingly EZ sounding material from their upcoming album, which could potentially be a return to form after the Dad Rock abomination they released a few years back. But what about all those forgotten Old School Easycore bands that broke up before they got a chance to go tr00 and rename their band “We Were Neon” or something like that?

I seriously don’t know how these guys didn’t get at least kind of big. A lot of Easycore bands were formed back then because it wasn’t as hard to play as Deathcore, while neglecting the key fact that songwriting ability is crucial. These dudes definitely had the songwriting ability on top of great musicianship and recordings that don’t sound like they were recorded live off the floor in a basement with a dollar store mic. Somebody was courteous enough to upload their entire discography on Youtube  (somebody = probably a member of the band) so go check that out if you want to hear some hidden EZcore gems.

Talk Is Cheap took a more Neon approach to the EZcore sound, kind of like if All Time Low got heavy. I love the autotuned falsetto singing and the backup gang vocals. This is seriously one of the catchiest songs ever!

Here is a little bit of a history lesson. Although Easycore historians have been debating endlessly on what the first Easycore song was (it’s either Goonies Never Say Die by Set Your Goals or At least I’m Known For Something by New Found Glory), Bangarang was definitely one of the first Easycore bands and the first to make a song that starts AND ends with a breakdown. Seriously, who else was doing that in 2005? So advanced. This demo admittedly is not a good representation of them as a band. Check out anything from their split with The Wonder Years or their full length album if you want to hear their best stuff. One of the guitarists (Taylor Madison) now sings and plays guitar in the popular Soft Grunge band Daylight. Apparently Nik from Man Overboard was in this band for a brief period of time too.

Kid Liberty might be a bit too successful to be included in this post but they were on some seriously next level shit for their time. Most Easycore bands back then didn’t take it to the level of heaviness that Kid Liberty did. The part with the glitchy vocals and the Chango Studios-esque sound effects during the breakdown are totally Proto-#EZcrab.

Pilot Around The Stars admittedly did not do much to stick out amongst the hundreds of other Easycore bands and even their bio was something super generic like “We’re a just a bunch of hardcore dudes who wanted to try something a little bit more upbeat, but you’ll probably hear the hardcore influences in our songs, lolz!” They do yell “OH SHIT” before a breakdown though, which is pretty bad ass imo.

In what appears to be the nerdiest music video of all time, this band has recorded themselves playing some sort of old school RPG. This song is about staying home and playing video games instead of going and hanging out at shows. You know you’re beta when you’re too nerdy to hang out with Pop Punk kids! Regardless, these guys played some of the best First Wave Easycore ever and they went completely unnoticed. Go check out their Grape EP, MMORPgirl is such a jam.

On the complete opposite end of the lyrical spectrum, The Fight Night had the most alpha lyrics of any Easycore band ever. Literally all of their songs are about drinking, fighting and fucking bar sluts. They even made a concept album of doing all of said things, with each song depicting a different time/event of the night.

Now we’re delving into extremely obscure territory. I’m not sure if the members themselves even remember this band. Taking your name from a kids movie seems to be trendy in Pop Punk but it’s cool to see that these guys didn’t go the obvious route by using a Goonies reference (so played out) and instead naming themselves after The Land Before Time, which was one of my favorite movies as a child (I’ve never even seen The Goonies srs).

I don’t remember much about Trophy Boys except that they had a very limited discography and they were really fucking good. I also think they ironically had a girl in their lineup if I’m not mistaken? Listening to this makes me mad that they only have three songs. That breakdown near the end is so sick.

Ready Set Low didn’t disappear per-say; they changed their name to Decade and became one of the more popular British Pop Punk bands. Their debut EP is Easycore gold though!

Have You Heard brought the posi-mosh in a major way (get it? cause their breakdowns are in major xD) and their super unique lyrics tackle themes like staying true to your friends and never giving up. I love the part near the end after it gets all slow and they’re like “shit, we haven’t put a breakdown in this song yet, let’s add one, last minute!”

Timeless (with an explanation point) is super old school. I think their songs date all the way back to 2008, so, rly rly old. The lyrics about walking away from a fight are super beta and match the music perfectly! Could you picture a Pop Punk kid fighting someone? LOL. How would they even attack? By stage-diving onto the person?

easycore1

 Who are your favorite Old School Easycore bands? Do you anticipate the Second Coming of EZ? Is it better to have loved and moshed than to have never moshed at all?

Posted in bands u may have slept on, easycore | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

The official #SLUDGEWAVE anthem

via SLUDGEWAVE 64

emogirl bvb liked this

Posted in new jamz | Tagged | 19 Comments

tr00 fails: BryanStars edition

bryanstarsladispute

No nature backdrop? Lol what kind of font are you using? Where’s the floral print? If you’re going to try to be tr00, at least put some effort in, Bryan. 0/10 wood not reblog.

mcdonalds

Even Ronald McDonald is better at being Tumblr than you… and he’s corporate! Go back to interviewing Scene bands, you fake wannabe.

ladispute1

Posted in fail, tumblr | Tagged , , , | 16 Comments

Fronz from ATTILA has a rap song; ‘tr00 scene kids’ are disappointed

fronz

As u may know, Chris Fronzak aka Fronz1lla sings for the popular party-metalcore band ATTILA, who are probably the only band I can think of that are more hated by ‘ppl who listen to REAL music’ than EMMURE. As the trend is these days among metalcore scene heartthrobs, Chris has started a ‘corny white guy trying 2 do trap music’ side project, and the first song is below:

I saw weed in the thumbnail and expected to hate it, but it’s not bad. I mean obviously it’s terrible but I don’t hate it! I was a big fan of the crunkcore ‘movement’ (all 8 bands in it) back in the myspace days and this kind of takes me back to the days of DAPL and DOT DOT CURVE– kinda feel like I should be listening to it in a pair of Osiris high-tops on my Zune!

failed scene kids

What’s interesting to me is that the reception seems to be almost 100% negative, such as “Victot Martnez” who indicates his disappointment above (side note: what is the .-. emoticon??). Like, what did people expect lol?? What did you THINK that the embarrassingly-extroverted singer of a scene band who probably didn’t even play on their album and thinks that smoking weed is edgy or interesting in 2014 was doing to do??

I’m just imagining this kid sitting in front of his Windows PC down there in Brazil or whatever, mashing the F5 key as he eagerly awaits the debut of Fronz’ new rap song– this would FINALLY be the moment that Fronz validated the lifestyle that nobody else in Victot’s village understood. Next time his uncle told him that long hair was for girls and that he should be careful wearing such tight jeans in public because someone might think he was a prostitute, he would simply press play on Fronz’ new joint and BOOM, instant rebuttal! But instead it’s just a half-assed song about smoking pot.

Fronz, u have failed the scene .-.

fronz cum

erm… ok? feeling uncomfortable rn :/

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 52 Comments

CHUNK NO CAPTAIN CHUNK X SMASHMOUTH

The tale of CHUNK is a somewhat sad one. They were definitely supposed to be The Next Big Thing, but seem to struggle with getting over the hump. By all accounts they are great guys who work hard, so what’s the deal? As much as I liked their last album, I think it is fair to say that the weak link with CNCC is their songwriting. It’s definitely solid, but it’s not GREAT, you know?

Try as they might, they can’t quite come up with something as good as HEY DUDES R U READY 2 :( You haven’t really heard anything about CHUNK is a while, but now everybody is all about this song (from “Punk Goes 90s”)… sorta like how MISS MAY I had to stop playing “Swing” because it got a bigger response than any of their originals lol.

Let this be a lesson, kids: at the end of the day, songwriting is king. That’s why these comps do so well. They remove the hardest part of the equation (songwriting) and let the bands focus on what they are good at: looking kyut and adding breakdowns.

Screen Shot 2014-04-01 at 10.14.17 AM

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 51 Comments

I got owned by a bunch of IMNs :((

So the other day, I was minding my own business on tumblr, creating original online content for my followers to identify with and reblog onto their own tumblr.com blogs. I know that sounds like a bunch of crazy buziness talk but just work with me hahaha. Our journey begins when I absentmindedly made THIS post: owned

A few notes I should make:

  • I have never seen PTV or OM&M live and only know a few of their songs
  • This post is obviously a joke, but it is more or less directly copied from some random tumblrgirl who expressed this exact opinion completely seriously
  • :) sweetie :) :)

It only got a hundred notes on tumblr, but the REAL fun started when some deathcore blog posted it on their page

btt

And suddenly, without warning, the IMNs/IHNs of the world swarmed around me like sharks, and collectively gave me a pwning on a level I have never experienced D: i cannot think of anything that would hurt my feelings and show me what a plebian dumbass i am than a bunch of keyboard warriors rattling off a list of REAL hardcore bands whose pits i would not survive. TRIGGER WARNING: EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING OWNAGE FOLLOWS

donkeyballs

OWNED!! 

carnifex

fuck… like i can’t prove i HAVENT had gay sex in a OM&M pit..  it’s called burden of proof look it up >.<

austins dick

wait wait why would girls want to lick austin’s dick?? umm that’s a weird thing to say…. lol ur grose

ptv

can u imagine some kind of bizarro world where your first reaction when a qt sceen CHEERLEADER walks into taco bell  is “lmao what a dumbass how can i make fun of you today?” and not “fuck guys what pickup line on the hot sauce packets should I use on her??”

corruptedcross

yuro detected… I feel like it’s been a while since we created a SYWH-niche meme, and I vote “most brutal moshe pit” to be the next

girls

wow u assume that i’m a girl becuz i listen to music made for teen girls?? lmao not very progressive of u, maybe you shoud log back into ur tumblr accoutn u havent used since 2011.. things have changed

hardrawk

oh so ur into that #hardrawk stuff they play on SiriusXM 41 Faction… like the theme song of Blue Mountain State?

in dying arms

ummm how about pls no >.< i’m not into that brutal growling death rock shit…

paint store

this guy gets it

slam

fukkkk i just got owned by Tyler Bussel, Professor of Slamology PhD, Attorney at Intracranial Putridectomy, Engineer of Vomitous Parasitic Necropsification…i think i’m a brutal guy but i draw the line at too much distortion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well the results are in, I have been OWNED on a scale never before witnessed on the internet… I’m gonna have to change my tumblr url immediately becuz the demcats brand has been forever tarnished. I plan on reinventing myself as a Nu-Emo/soft grunge blogger until the controversy dies down… reblog if u agree

Posted in austin carlile, lulzy pictures, nerds | Tagged , , | 81 Comments

This Nu-Americanpiecore band has found a Y2K time warp

timetravel

For a lot of us, the glory days of Mallpunk are nothing but a distant memory. Some of us may even be too young to remember it at all. But not for The SpacePimps (I will forgive them for having the worst name ever). For them, Blink 182 never broke up, reformed and released a crappy record. The singer of Sum 41 never started looking like a troll doll. The New Found Glory guitarist was still having legal sex due to the close-in-age exemption. People never had to sift through hundreds of Soft Grunge bands who tag themselves as “Pop Punk” on bandcamp because the only “bandcamp” anyone was familiar with involved a girl named Michelle telling a story about sticking a flute up her pussy.

  • I love the opening riff. I know this might sound weird to some of you younger kids, but back in the day, Pop Punk used be played in major keys. Crazy, huh?!
  • the Hurley clearance sale gear
  • the bassist rocks green hair better than the Joker. “Hey new Pop Punk bands – why so serious?”
  • the vintage Britney Spears and Blink 182 posters reminding them of the golden age
  • I get mild EZ vibes from the part at 1:45… Post-Proto-Easycore?
  • the singer’s wearing a fitted hat… so advanced o_O
  • people appear to be partying and having fun… in a Pop Punk music video? This is next level right here

Unfortunately, since the SpacePimps are playing such an obscure type of throwback music, they’re pretty much only limited to touring in shitty countries like China who have censored the entire internet, leaving everyone unaware that the new wave of Tr00 Pop Punk ever even happened.

It’s funny how that entire crowd of people think that this is how our Pop Punk music sounds… that it’s actually upbeat and happy! LOL. The SpacePimps just trolled so many chinamen!

Go give them a like on Facebook and tell them Stuff You Will Hate sent you!

ampie

Posted in bands 2 watch for, new jamz, pop-punk | Tagged , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

New Song to Pretend You Don’t Like That Much: Matti Baybee – “Mula”

matti baybee
This is Matti Baybee, most known for being Chief Keef’s sixteen-year-old cousin.  His new song “Mula” has a sick beat and something that is kind of like vocals.  It’s the perfect song to put on in your Acura while you are taking some cute girls with shirts that don’t cover their bellies to the club where they think you will give them some blow.  It’s just ridiculous enough that it’s okay to like.  It has few enough words that it doesn’t need to be familiar for someone to be able to sing along with it.  Best of all, it’s one of those songs where you can be like “Lol, it’s just some song to get the party going!” even though you totally love it and listen to it over and over and over because it gets you mad droopy.

The most important thing about the video is how strangely non-sexual the whole thing is.  I chalk this up to two things: as mentioned earlier, Matti Baybee is sixteen.  That means if these young ladies are eighteen or older, it would be crazy levels of pedophilia in this bitch.  This is where it gets tricky, though:  they might also be sixteen!  This would make it legal to twerk on him, but only QUESTIONABLY legal to film it and put it online due to this thing people get mad about called child pornography.  Strange world we live in, right?

brb gonna go buy some leggings to wear under my basketball shorts.

 

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS are breaking up *crying emoji*

ftsk

“lol rmbr when we thought we were gonna be the next all time low”

Our friends at Property Of Zack broke the news last week that FTSK are “going on indefinite hiatus” aka breaking up. While in all honesty this is probably long overdue (source: Jonathan resorting to selling fake Rolexes on eBay to pay the bills and nobody caring at all about their last album), I am still a little bit sad to see them go. Yeah, maybe they have been phoning it in for a couple years, but they were hands down my favorite band of The Neon Years™ and I’ll always remember them how they were in their glory years– like how sometimes u will think about an old gf when u fap, and even if she is fat now u will remember how good her boobies felt when she was still hot.

With that said, I want to send FTSK off into the sunset by going thru a few of the highlights of their (surprisingly extensive) discography.

First things first: “Underdog Alma Mater” is an absolute pop masterpiece. Listen to this song on headphones or a nice system and pay close attention– the arrangement is fucking unbelievably good (courtesy of producers Matt Squire, Matt Mahaffey and Geoff Rockwell, who are A+++++ level pop guys). For example, the seamless blend of electronic and acoustic percussion, synths, vocal harmonies and guitar leads in the first 1:30 or so. Even the bassline is advanced (check the slick vocal/bass interplay at 2:25, followed by a glockenspiel that echoes the vocal melody). Literally every single little detail in the arrangements on this album is polished to absolute perfection.

THIS. IS. NEON POP. That piano/synth intro is untouchable. I would die a happy man if I ever came up with something even 1/10th as slick as this song. I remember seeing them in 2009 with some random hipster girl I was dating at the time, drunk & high as fuck on coke and when they started playing this song I felt like I was seeing god with my own eyes.

Now let’s get into some deep cuts! “IDKAYBICTD” aka “I Don’t Know About You But I Came To Dance” is my single favorite FTSK song, and that is saying a lot considering how much I fucking love this band. That intro riff = *heart eyes emoji*

Another deep cut is “Becky Starz,” which was an iTunes-only bonus track from “Underdog.” For some reason this song makes me really nostalgic for that time in my life, even though it was kind of shitty. You can see how long ago this was uploaded because it’s in 4:3– sometimes I wonder what the people who uploaded this stuff like 5 years ago are up to now. What is RockQueen54 doing in 2014?? Almost done with college, deep in her nu-goth/pastel grunge phase? Wonder how she would react if you were like “Hey are your RockQueen54? How come your one and only Youtube upload is a rip of Becky Starz?”

IMO the “Friday” EP was what kinda killed FTSK. Idk what they were thinking with shit like this– it sounds like the theme song from some Nick Jr movie about a dance contest that would star Dylan or Cole Sprouse and only air once then be quickly forgotten. It took forever for this EP to come out, and it kinda killed whatever momentum they had from “Underdog.”

Although it doesn’t have the super-slick neon pop appeal of “Underdog,” I actually love the self-titled album almost as much. This is a good song 2 play when ur like riding the bus on a rainy day thinkin about that kyut girl who works at the deli counter at Whole Foods and how u rly wanna hold hands with her.

Let’s close this bittersweet post with FTSK’s debut video, a snapshot of a simpler time– a carefree era where your biggest worry was who to put in your top 8, who was hitting up your Sidekick, and whether you should identify as emo or scene. We’ve all grown older and our lives have changed, but we’ll always have those cherished memories in our hearts and Photobuckets!! (if u can still remember ur password xD )

Forever-the-Sickest-Kids

RIP FTSK *single tear*

Posted in announcements, what we think about stuff | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments

LIE OR LIAR “blend metalcore with psychotic rapping”

Guys, this is what happens when you don’t heed my warnings. Get used to this sound because it’s going to be the default for crappy scene bands over the next 2-3 years. Nobody listened to me and now it’s real!!! FUCK ALL OF YOU, YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!

Screen Shot 2014-03-27 at 10.42.03 AM

via MetalSucks

Posted in new jamz, what u do after school when u live in the suburbs | Tagged , | 67 Comments