Tween Scene chicks heart "Teaser" by T Mills

Much in the same way that shirtless tweens like to do Screamo covers of "The Biebz", I have recently discovered another trend amoung bored middle class white kids. As we all know from the seemingly endless stream of Mills related content recently, nothing soaks underage scene panties like that dude, and now we have another disturbing manifestation of this.

For some unfathamable reason, there is a whole host of videos of girls who have filmed themselfs awkwardly singing along to the song "Teaser". When I first discoved two girls torturing a cat via this method in a Hyperviolence post I thought it was just a one off, but as you can see, the problem has spread much, much further afoot.

The "Patient Zero", of awkward T Mills covers. Note how the cat really wishes he wasn't there.


heart the annoying chick in the Whitechapel tee

"At the ennnnnd, I say he gives my vagina an erection and
if I had a penis, he'd give it one to :)" - Wut?!?!?

Obviously a big thing with the OTWs

The last one is the most worrying to me, as they appear to be in some kind of shop/gallery/public space. Who knows quite what overtook them here, that they absolutely had to whip out their Macbook and do it right there, instead of in the safety of their own homes, free from the confused creepy azn guy behind them. Love how whenever the lyrics get particularly raunchy they hastily glance over their shoulder, presumably in case their parents (who probably own said macbook) hear them, although they definately dont seem to give a shit about azn dude.

Creepy/Dissapointed/Shocked/Disgusted/Confused/Aroused/Spectral/Azn bro?

One last thing, before I go, In addition to Monday's post, I would also like to add that animal cruelty is neither cool nor scene, and that you take a moment to remember John.......

New Jamz: Hurry! Lets Go and Scene Valentines/Romance

I am pleased to introduce the newest contributor to SYWH, Eyelicker-- you may know him from his other blog, Hyperviolence and comments on this site. Like YeahYouKnowIt, he's about 10 years younger than me and ShawnYouWillHate, but I'd like to think that we share a common post-ironic appreciation of contemporary youth culture. Bro, you're one of my top internet bros, bro! Welcome aboard and we hope to see many more posts from you! - Sgt D

It's no secret to the world that scene/crunk/anyone who has ever used autotune bros are fuckin' pro with the girlies. In fact, while the majority of us scene kids would have you believe that we're ghetto as fuq playas till death, and are the kind of bad news that most chicks lap up, we're also totally down for some legit romance every once in a while, when not smashing up the town in our sweet osiris high tops (not actually mine, cos mine're some limited edition shit that'r too cool for the internet) and dot dot curve :) t's.

Enter Hurry! Let's Go, crunkcore romantics (in the old world sense of the word) and regular contributers to my "xgenuinexscenexfeelingsx" playlists, whenever I wax sentimental with a chick. In the world of internet crunkcore acts, they are like the Michael Cera, to DDC's parallel of Larry Clark's 1995 film "Kids". Seriously, these kids are so clean cut and sincere I almost feel like they're gonna get bullied when I playlist them with BC13 and Hollywood Undead. Fuck, even Breathe Carolina look like scummy creepverts next to these!

Yes Stacy! I would love to meet your parents!

Their jamz are pretty much universally about love (unrequited or ace), to a sometimes pretty sickening degree. They tread very close to the line of "this is so fucking soppy I can't even listen to it ironically", with about half of their stuff going over it and being rendered unlistenable. That in mind, the other half is actually pretty decent, especially for putting on in the background when you're tryna convince a chick what a genuine legit guy you are. Just time it right so you don't look like a massive sap.

This one is a pretty cool collab with the equally unthreatening and German XOXO

I kind of feel like Hurry! Let's Go are probably the logical conclusion of the "non theatening dudes singing about feelin's" aesthetic. This is probably more of a detriment to their success than anything, as it just makes them come across as really fuckin' dull people, instead of at least pretending that they're off the wall crazy people like every other band does. Not that anyone actually believes that DDC, BC13, HU, BOTDF, T Mills and anyone else are actually one iota "srs buisness", but singing like they are is enough to make them pretty much like crack for most chicks. Dudes who are essentially harmless with enough of a veneer of badassery to indulge most girl's natural affliction of the wild without being any kind real risk (hence how most chicks are completely fucking clueless about rap music (Kanye west dosn't count)). Still I guess Hurry! Let's Go are prolly at least filling a gap in the market, and are sometimes pretty perfect to hit that spot. Props! Also, it's probably worth a mension that they are proud owners of the accolade of being the only band who I have actually bought an mp3 album of online (but this was only because I couldn't find a working rapidshare, and it was the beginning of the term so I was yet to squander all my cash).

You arn't fooling anyone, especially with that Akercrombie shirt, the "scarlet letter" of the middle classes.

Anyways, further on the topic of genuine scene love, this Valentines day (sunday b4 yesturday) taught me that scene love is the fuckin' shit! After the past few years with boring middle class mainstream no fun club chicks who just don't get it and equate having fun, piercings, tats, and wearing sick ass scene threads with being immature/stupid/a looser (not that I'm not immature, but you're doing a course in TV production honey, while I'm waxing scientific at one of the best Universitys in England), having now recently found a down-ass scene chick to allign personal brands/band merch/crunkcore playlists with is gonna be fucking sweet.
Anyways, hope you had a pro V-tines day too, and didn't let the no fun club's cynicism ruin it for you. I made a playlist with some help from my scenie that I was gonna post to my other blog, Hyperviolence, but ended up pulling a cba (via having just returned from Germany), anyway, here it is, as my introductory gift to the SYWH readership; Eyelicker's officially scene girl approved playlist for those intimate moments with that special scene chick in your life. You may hate this shit, in fact you probably do, but I would advise having it handy. Much like a fire extinguisher, you may never need it, but if the unthinkable happens and you do get Becky Brutality or whoever back to your crib, you don't wana be caught without some legit crunkcore romance jamz. You'll get extra bonus points too if she had you down as some square who only like "srs music" from the surprise factor!

2. Seventeen Forever - HORSE the band (I mean Metro Station)

3. Dressed Up To Undress - Breathe Carolina

4. Shades of Grey - Setting for Disaster

5. I wanna love you - The Maine

6. Bamboozle - T. Mills

7. Kandyland - BrokeNCYDE

8. Pimpin' - Hollywood Undead

9. The Killer Anna - The Medic Droid

10. Scream For My Icecream - Blood On The Dance Floor

11. I cant do it alone - 3OH!3

12. All I ever wanted - N!tro

14. Another Song For the Weekend - ADTR

15 Crunkizzle Romance - Dot Dot Curve :)

http://www.mediafire.com/?0jniznnjzin

(if you work for a label, let me know and I'll take down anything you own, but you should think of this as promotion not piracy-- don't rain on the parade!)

Update - Hurry! Lets Go have requested I take down their jamz, so the download now omits their tracks. Fair play to them, go buy the download EP like I did!

NEW JAMZ: Young Philly "My Hollister Hoodie"

Hollister is for ppl who are already cool, American Eagle is for ppl who want to be cool but can't afford it, and Aeropostale is for poor ppl/immigrants. If you are a regular SYWH reader, you already know this, but for those of you who are not, peep the hot new video from YOUNG PHILLY, "My Hollister Hoodie."

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Your girl thinks it's tight boy

Hollister = Facebook/Starbucks, Aeropostale = MySpace/McDonalds
This dude knows what's up! Sure, the video is a little low-rent (obv made it on his MacBook with Photobooth), but I can't think of anything cooler than a DIY rap video about how awesome Hollister is. It's also pretty rad that he throws in a couple digs at Aeropostale-- I can begrudingly accept the existence of Eagle (band nerds have to shop somewhere), but I draw the fucking line at Aero. It's like the apparel version of MySpace: outdated, gross, and full of ugly, poor people.

LOL @ Aero blantantly taking the Hollister surfboard, turning it the other way, and hoping nobody notices! Epic plagiarism fail-- no wonder these shirts are BOGO while Hollister gets top dollar for their tees.

Hit up Young Philly on MySpace, Twitter and YouTube. Tell him SYWH sent you, and cop a Hollister hoodie for yourself!

Bands u may have slept on: DFL

Hardcore wasn't always for rich, popular Christian kids in skinny jeans and scene hair. Long ago, in a galaxy far away, it was a more extreme form of punk rock. This is old news to anybody around my age, but I don't think kids these days fully grasp it because it was literally ten years before the kids in Attack Attack! or whatever were even born. I didn't get into hardcore until 1989, when it had been in full swing for many years and Youth of Today brought in hordes of jock moshers, but even then it was a very different beast than today.

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IFC host Henry Rollins' first band, State of Alert (aka SOA)

A land before flat irons
At that time, hardcore certainly wasn't for anybody who was remotely cool, popular, good-looking or otherwise healthy and happy to be alive. People like Scott Vogel understand this, which is why I like it so much when he says "We are not a rock and roll band. We are not cool. We are fucked up kids just like all of you." Hardcore was for fucked up kids, and at least to me, it meant bands like SOA, Minor Threat, Black Flag, MDC, DRI, Poison Idea, and believe it or not, the Beastie Boys. Many people don't know that they weren't always a gay, uptight "rap" group for socially-conscious college students who go on to be shitbag yuppies that drive Volvos-- they were actually one of the first hardcore bands, way back in 1981 or so.

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The first blast beat??

Not only that, but their song "Riot Fight" is the first example of a blast beat that I am aware of, predating NYC Mayhem, Infest, Napalm Death and all that Earache stuff by several years. So all you thrash dorks who worship Nine Shocks Terror or whatever should probably be jocking the Beasties for pioneering this shit. I really wish the Beasties would have stayed a hardcore band, because they were really good at it, and it was way cooler than when they lost my respect by taking back all the ignorant, misogynist, and homophobic stuff they said on "License to Ill."

Later on, they did a few hardcore songs on "Ill Communication" the "Aglio e Olio" EP (featuring Suicidal Tendencies' Amery Smith on drums), but basically moved away from it after "Pollywog Stew." And it's a shame, because they were a really fucking good hxc/thrash band.


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The 1994 Beasties song "Heart Attack Man" wouldn't have been out of place on the Minor Threat 7" or Circle Jerks LP

DFL = What if the Beasties kept playing thrash?
Enter DFL, or Dead Fucking Last. Originally featuring Adam Yauch on bass, DFL is basically what it would sound like if the Beasties hadn't turned into boring, gay rap for oversexed, middle class college kids. They released a 7" called "My Crazy Life," a CDEP version of the 7" and I think two LPs, but I think the 7" is their best material.



It basically sounds like a band that would have played with JFA, MDC, Adolescents, or any of the other 80s hardcore bands I grew up on. Like those bands, they played raw, fast hardcore, but never lost their sense of humor- I still laugh at the intro to one of the songs where he introduces the band as "Crazy Monty, Crazy Adam, Crazy Tom, and Fucked Up Tony."

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Tour footage and "Pizzaman" (he delivers)

I feel like all the dorks who got into the whole "thrash" thing in the 90s totally overlooked this band because they were on Epitaph, despite that DFL did 80s hardcore better than any of the crappy bands putting out one generic, shitty 7" after the next. Now that kids are into the whole Municipal Waste thing, maybe they'll finally get their due?

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Not their best song, but pretty OK

Either way, don't sleep on DFL if you missed them in the 90s! This 7" fucking rips, and I'm pretty sure this is long, long out of print (it was on Grand Royal), so I'm including a download link: Cop the DFL 7" here