JT Lloyd (with 2 L's).........fucking LOL!

I can remember very well and with great clarity the first moment that I discovered T Mills. First I hated him and thought he was a dick. Now I think his music is dope and he is merely a bit vapid. Now with that thought, imagine my horror when I saw this.......



Yup, seems like everyone's tryna become an autotune scene bro now, presumably for the underage OTW poon it will surely bring. We had Mills, Jakewolf, J Bigga, and now the most entry level of them all (which is fucking saying something), at least if myspace layouts are anything to go by, JT Lloyd!

There are many things wrong with this image. Firstly, he has the same inbred mouth agape expression that I last saw on Spanky of DDC, which, when combined with the frankly disturbing shirtlift + loltattoo reveal, makes me feel like a chick who's just realised shes about to get raped. Seriously, look at that fucking face, it justs screams out "squeal piggy squeal", with inbred yank sensibilities.

Secondly, he isn't signed and is purely "DIY", yet is having a sale (wat?!?), offering a Victory Records esque bundel, and selling signed autographed topless posters of himself. Dude, you're a fucking 19 year old generi-scene bro. Slow down!

Weird chest is weird, he's obviously worked on his abs, but then combined with the rest of his body having the proportions of a 12 year old everything just looks wrong. Hit the bench press sometime bro! I guess it's better than J Bigga revealing his malnourished 30 yr old chest at every opportunity.

As is customary for autotune scene bros, he has a host of videos on his youtube channel of him doing....well, fuck all actually. Him and some of his dumb friends try and act like LOLCRAZYRANDOMFUNGUIZE in their parent's houses, but most of the time the films are just the camera hovering unnearvingly close to his face, as his mouth hangs open, he chews gum, and talks in some kind of American drawl about something. Not quite tour footage.

In this one him and some kid talk about going to church (crunk4christ?!?), hitting on a 13 year old girl, and being inbred.

As you would expect, he has an overwhelming amount of positive feedback in the form of otw slightly scene chicks who still use myspace (who seem to be the autotune scene bros target demograph), and an absolute ton of myspace pages of various "street teams".

Even my beloved Germany D:

His pictures are unsurprisingly stacked with a shit ton of pictures of himself, in various stages of his patented shirt lift, against a background of gay colours.

There was also an album devoted to his keut scene gf, who we see here also doing the token lift, and proving why they are perfect for each other. Now creepy scene bros like me can mock you AND eyefuck your chick!

JT's first show was a great success...

N.B: In researching this post I had to endure more pictures of him than I can recall, seeing as he puts his face on fucking every page about 50 times. I am now going to curl up in the foetal position and recite quotes from Deliverance.

Senor Bivins screams deathcore songs in his bedroom, ladies sweat him for it

Today a YouTube bro showed me that I am doing something very wrong with my life. I'm man enough to admit it: I should have dedicated myself to deathcore*. Popular deathcore bands like Suicide Silence and Bring Me the Horizon seem to be drowning in hotties, but that doesn't really surprise me- being in a band has always been the #1 way of getting the ladies to check for you.

I would fight a horde of stangry Suicide Silence fans to the death for a chance to play video games with this adorable cutie

Deathcore seems to have special powers over chicks, though: This bro named Kevin Bivins isn't even in a band, he just does deathcore vocal covers on YouTube. Yet thanks to the magic of deathcore, seems to have quite a few (retardedly hot) girls on his jock. Let me be perfectly clear: I'm not hating, the furthest thing from it- I'm high-fiving this bro. I'm pissed I didn't think of it first, but the last thing I will ever do is hate on someone who beat me to the punch-- jealousy is entry-level!

*if you aren't familiar with deathcore, this post I did on Metal Inquisition will bring you up to speed


The strength of Senor Bivins' personal brands really comes across in this video where he tries out for Demolisher (one of my favorite new bands, seriously- do not miss them, brutal as fuck)

He has lots of other videos where he covers popular deathcore bands like Whitechapel, Carnifex and Blood Runs Black, but other than a couple of guest appearances here and there, as far as I can tell he's not in a band. This isn't my favorite vocal style, but he does it very well, and has a strong personal brand that makes the alpha scenebro that he is. Apparently his personal brand and the magic powers of deathcore earn him an amount of fans large enough that it is difficult to handle. In his words (emphasis mine):

Bivins.
Manufactured in 1987.
Deathcore is what I live and shall die for.

I've got mad covers and requests to do X__X .. gotta give the fans what they want !

I always try to respond to messages and comments, I know the feeling of trying to talk to popular people and they just blow you off it's annoying as fuck isn't it lol

For those of you who do send me messages and comments and I don't get a chance to reply just know I read it and I smiled ^__^... I love all of you

Support me and I shall support you as well in whatever it is you may do, hell I'd even fly out to one of your soccer games or something if I could ^__^ that's just the kinda guy I am

I don't think Im better than anyone, everyone has the potential to be something great... Im just doing my best with my vokillz and guitar uhhh skills ? I don't have much but Im trying ^__^

FML. Metal Inquisition gets pretty solid traffic (about 2-3,000 visits a day as of now) but the most I've gotten out of that are a couple free Hollywood Undead shirts and lots of spam about the latest releases from some European metal label I've never heard of and don't want to. We certainly don't have hoards of "fans" who overwhelm us with so much positive feedback that some of it slips through the cracks. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with NEGATIVE feedback, though, which isn't all that fun.

I would be happy to make a few videos of myself screaming the words to ABACABB songs or whatever if it would get this honey to cling to me

Bivins and his crew are repping both Hollister and Abercrombie; their personal brands are aligned as fuck

I know what you are thinking: "What did you expect, you tard? You write about 90s death metal and how the singer for Waking The Cadaver sells Amway. That might as well be VaginaRepellent.biz. If you want chicks, be in a band." It's true, I fucked up. If I had it all to do over again I would be a deathcore vocalist, but what's done is done. It's too late for me, but at least I can congratulate Senor Bivins for figuring this shit out- especially the part where you don't even need to go through all the hassle of being in an actual band!

--

Bro. It's not worth getting this aggro over people "calling you scene." Chillax, it's going to be ok.

Try to be a hella mass chill bro
The only suggestion I have for Senor Bivins would be to maybe turn it down just a notch. I get it: the interweb is all having about strong, unsolicited opinions on shit nobody else cares about (this blog is one example). But sometimes he comes on a bit strong, and that can be a little offputting. I was once 21, so I know that it seems like an assault of the highest order on your very way of life when someone "calls you scene," but when you are older it will seem much less important than your leaky water heater, your wife's incessant nagging/pouting about absolutely everything, or just having a few minutes to take a fucking nap on Saturday. When you scream "faggot" at them in a YouTube video, it just makes you seem super butthurt, and that's kind of entry-level, you know? Hit up our boy Big Chocolate. He is the original and best YouTube deathcore vocalist, but still keeps it hella mass chill.

Aside from the regrettable homophobic language, Senor Bivins seems like a decent bro. I support his personal brand and I suggest that you do the same. I am hoping that I will get some good karma for this and be reincarnated as the mirror in a Forever 21 dressing room (seems like the next best thing after being a YouTube deathcore vocalist).

PS Please add Stuff You Will Hate on MySpace, especially if you are a cute girl



Digital touchpoints for Bivins' personal brand:
YouTube
MySpace (music)
MySpace (personal)