While it is arguable that "scene" is on its way out, many people still make the n00b mistake of confusing scene with emo. As anyone who is scene will tell you, they couldn't be more different! To me, the main point of difference is in the fundamental motivations of each segment. Emo kids want sympathy [via expressing as often as possible that 'life suxxx'], while scene kids want to have fun/get attention/be famous within their micro-community of friends [oftentimes via online pseudo-friends].
hmm, I've actually wondered that myself because many kids I've met who have been one were also the other. I would say though, an emo kid is more specific and just is one who listens to emo and is more depressive. And I'd say an emo kid is usually a scene kid, but not all scene kids are emo kids because to me scene is more just the style. I've known many indie kids who I'd consider scene, but they're definitely not emo at all.
Personally I found this answer unsatisfying, because if anything it further muddies the waters, but Yahoo Answers considers it a "resolved question."
Scene involves extensive peacocking, while emo is more about being fat and miserable
If u are still confused [via being old], Urban Dictionary sums it up nicely:
Many people confuse scene kids and emos b/c they wear similiar clothing and sometimes have similiar styles. Both wear small band tee's they buy at their concerts even though they like different music. Some scence guys wear girl pants as well as some emos making them even more easily confused.
Scence kids and emo kids are very different mainly in the type of music they like and their outlook on life in general. Scence kids are fun and usually are at local concerts/parties. Emo kids are sad and usually stay at home and write poetry and check their myspaces.
Scene kid: "i cant wait to go to my concert and mosh"
Emo kid: "i cant wait to go to my concert and sob at this life's black abyss that is my heart"
Scene kid: "ok...bye"
What do u think is better, emo or scene?? Which are u? Would u be pissed if someone 'called u emo'??? Will Gerard Way ever reclaim his position as emo/goth hearthrob?
I am a huge fan of CHAINREACTIONCORE, comprised of the many Orange County moshcore bands who played at the legendary OC venue Chain Reaction in the 90s and 00s. At the center of that scene is Javier Van Huss-- if Keith Barney is the John Lennon of CHAINREACTIONCORE, Jav is the Paul McCartney, having done time in just about every bands including 18 Visions, Bleeding Through, Throwdown, the Mistake, and Enewetak. He also runs the excellent hardcore-war-stories blog Some Dudes Tell Stories, which is an amazing trip down memory lane for those of us who came up in the 90s West Coast hardcore scene.
The "classic 18V lineup," featuring Brandon who left for Bleeding Through, Ken on drums and Jav on bass. And of course Jame Shart on vocals!
Aside from being a blogger and the definitive CHAINREACTIONCORE bassist, he is also a hair stylist. It would not be an exaggeration to say that 18 Visions during the Jav years laid the foundation for what we know as "scene" today, so all you kids should probably listen to the dude who arguably invented this shit! I am thrilled to present the first of what I hope will be many posts from Jav-- thanks bro, you are really touching some lives here!! The kids need you!
- Sgt D
Hi. I'm Jav, and I hate Scene Hair.
Not for the reason you might think (because it looks fucking ridiculous), but because YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. How can I make this judgment, you may ask? Well, when you have been doing hair for over ten years, and you have taught in some of the most prestigious beauty schools in the country, and learned from the best hairstylists in the world, then YOU can be the judge too!
I did my first Scene haircut while I was still in beauty school, in 1999, on a young Jame Shart.
No matter where I go it seems, 10 years later I'm still known as "that guy who used to play in 18 Visions (when it was good)". And yes, we DID have a hand in helping the young "scene" look. I did my first Scene haircut while i was still in beauty school, in 1999, on a young James Hart. He wanted this Scene haircut similar to the girls in South County at the time, a haircut we called either DUCK BUTT or THE SHOTGUN BLAST: Short and spiky in the back, long and bob-like in the front, possibly with bangs.
This look is still cultivated today, mainly by 15-18 year old boys who's waist size is about as big as my 7 year old daughter. Some people call these jerks fgtz, but I would rather look at Johnny Scene than some hipster riding a fixed gear with a Padawan tail and ironic moustache. Now, THOSE guys are FGTZ!!!
I've been trying to trace the roots and history of Scene hair, but i can only tell you what inspired US in the beginning: ORGY. The techno-goth-rocker-industrial-glam playboys who scored a minor hit with their cover of New Order's "Blue Monday". Every day on our way to beauty school, James and I would pass by the Virgin Megastore in Costa Mesa, and see these GIANT posters of the members of Orgy. These jerks had pointy hair and lipgloss and eyeliner and we were transitioning from wearing JNCOs with basketball jerseys to having to wear all black for school.
As a snobby hairstylist, I hate scene hair because it does look fucking stupid 95% of the time, but I also hate it because it's DIY.
Keep in mind, flat irons weren't really around yet (only the awesome black and gold Hot Tools ones), so we had to make our hair straight by using half a can of Murray's a week. We started playing around with coloring our hair because it was easily accessible to us at school. Soon, we were spray painting everything gold and licking everything in sight. And trust me, people fucking hated us. I still read about how we RUINED the scene.
After a couple of years, bands like From Autumn To Ashes started picking up on the "fashioncore" thing, and it spread from there to bands like From First To Last, and then out of control. Soon, teens from Los Angeles to Leeds were running to MAC and HOT TOPIC to out-Scene one another. With the advent of the internet, high speed connections, and YouTube, it soon became easy to take matters into your own hands when it came to your hair. You no longer had to try and find someone to try and do your hair, you could go to a website and buy color, extensions, or find how-to's. You could just click on YouTube and see some 15 year old asshole cutting her own hair with a fucking BIC RAZOR.
This video makes me sick to my stomach. Watching this idiot butcher her own hair make the anger sharks swim. Sure, we've all had hair emergencies, and had to take matters into our own hands, or experimented with hair color, but this is just insane. I used to show videos like this in my classroom, to demonstrate what NOT to do, and after a few minutes the air was like with *gasps* and general comments like OMG! WTF?, and plenty of LOLZ.
I really do respect your right to be Scene, I am just telling you right now that I can do it better than you.
As a snobby hairstylist, I hate scene hair because it does look fucking stupid 95% of the time, but I also hate it because it's DIY. Yes, the "punk" aesthetic has crept it's way into Scene somehow. So, what's wrong with a little DIY? Well, IT FUCKING TAKES FOOD OUT OF MY CHILD'S MOUTH, YOU FUCKING TWAT. Yes, I make money off of doing hair, and when you butcher your shit in the mirror at home, it takes business away from me. Plus, I CAN DO IT BETTER THAN YOU. And if you watch most of the videos on YouTube about doing your own hair, it's little girls who most assuredly still live at home and don't pay for SHIT, so I'm sure can afford to pay at least a little to make sure you don't look like a fucking neon raccoon.
Now, I wouldn't trust just ANYONE to do Scene hair, because to tell you the truth most people that do hair SUCK at it anyway. I would suggest giving your stylist a mini-interview. Start with some basic questions:
If your hairstylist either has no idea what you are talking about or tells you get the fuck out of their chair, it's time to look for a new stylist.
Now, I realize that Scene is all about individuality and expressing your inner creativity, but I cannot tell you how many times I have thought about approaching someone who looks Scene and telling them "ZOMG UR Doing it wrong, let me fix it". So why don't I? Well believe it or not, I really don't want to offend these people (at least to their face). I really do respect your right to be Scene, I am just telling you right now that I (or hopefully another hairstylist) can do it better than you.
What if BrokeNCYDE looked more like Final Fantasy characters and sounded more like Aqua? Then they would be Blood On The Dancefloor, perhaps the most extreme (and awesome) version of scene that I have encountered so far.
I'd... hit it?!
And let me clear one thing up: Yes, of course I think this band is hilarious (and I am 100% sure they know exactly what they're doing and would laugh right along with me), but I also non-ironically like them and almost everything else I write about on here. This is about stuff YOU will hate, but that I LOVE. Anyway...
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BOTDF is really just the scene version of "artists" like N Dubz and Blackout Crew
One thing I really appreciate about BOTDF is how they combine gay and creepy, sort of like how I like to go to mainstream gay clubs because lots of hot alt girls go there and let down their guard. Like swift gazelles who momentarily relax to take a cool drink of water from an oasis only to be devoured by a waiting lion, I pounce as soon as they get too comfortable. I think the boys in BOTDF would approve, so I feel like we have some common ground.
Bro, I think we could be bros, bro. You be the froo-froo one, I'll be the grimy one, we'll be an unstoppable force like AJ and Rick from Simon & Simon!
From his swishy tone to insane Final Fantasy/steampunk-meets-scene personal brand, you'd think that singer Dahvie Vanity is about as straight as a dog's hind leg, but if you pay attention to the lyrics you will quickly see that he's as creepy as it gets, even bordering on "Free candy in my van" territory.
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"The girlies suck my dick like an ice cream stick! An ice cream stick!? An ICE CREAM STICK!"
I also appreciate their upbeat, happy hardcore/donk take on scene; let's just call it DONKCORE. If you're not familiar with donk, you definitely need to check out Vice's definitive article on the subject. It seems like a bunch of dirty British kids doing the Hollywood Undead thing as far as I can tell.
You'll probably vomit with disgust, but that's because you hate fun unlike the kids in Blackout Crew and BOTDF who just want want to get the party started and don't give a fuck what you think because they're going to get high as fuck and bang the hottie of their choice tonight while you and I sitting in front of our computers.
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"Fuck the drama, save it for Obama"
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined someone combining two things I love as much as scene hair and donk, but BOTDF did it! I've always had a little thing for cybergoth too, so I'm totally into the googles and vinyl shit. Hopefully this shit will catch on and teenagers across the country will be bumping this shit in their parents' Saturns on the way to the mall to buy some more steampunk gear.
Image gallery
She looks pretty beat, but she has awesome hair so I totally would
Lipstick always makes me think of dog boners!
I'd start a riot all over her tits! Wait a minute... Look, I'm not gay, I fucked him!!
How could you hate a band that has the line "Stop, drop, mosh and roll"?!
I would replay 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and the LA riots over again 100 times than introduce another poser into this world. I know that sounds extreme, but if somebody doesn't keep an eye on things, next thing you know they let just ANYBODY into this place and nobody wants that to happen.
This video is kinda long, but has a lot of good info. Basically it comes down to this: Posers have a Sidekick, listen to metalcore, and have bad hair. Real scene/HXC kids have a Sidekick, listen to metalcore, and have AMAZING HAIR.
Intro to poser spotting: Hardcore posers When it comes to hardcore, it's pretty easy to spot a poser: they thrash to the mosh parts, and mosh to the thrash parts. This tweenbro has some good vids too for getting up to speed, like here where he makes two main points: You pose if you shop at Zumiez and Enter Shikari is a very talented hardcore band.
In the 2K9, Righteous Jams, Toxic Narcotic and Reach The Sky are more or less interchangeable with SSD, Siege, and Slapshot- just an FYI. As far as getting your head ripped off for "looking like a faggotty scene or poser" at Boston hardcore shows, I guess someone forgot to give Gibby from Panic the memo since he seemed to get along just fine there and he literally wrote the website on how to look like a faggoty scene kid (and banged a hot friend of mine years ago *high five* ).
If you are still confused, check out an informative video called "Today's Hardcore Scene" which will tell you everything you need to know about the hxc scene, especially classic bands like Bury Your Dead, Walls Of Jericho and Thick As Blood. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have been around back in the day and see one of those bands in their prime, like right after Walls of Jericho put out their 6th album.
Even a novice like me can see the obvious problems here... you never have a bright light source behind the subject!
Advanced poser spotting: Scene kids With years of experience under my belt, I can smell a hardcore poser a mile away. I'm still a relatively entry-level sceneologist, though, so it doesn't come quite as easily to me. I am a firm believer in ethnographic research, or observing subjects in their native environment, so consulted the internets, the native domain of scene kids. I found a vibrant community centered around poser spotting, which they call scene fails. It's complicated, but it seems like there are two basic rules: No fatties and no bad hair.
Rule 1: You can't be fat No, seriously. I'm not trying to say that scene kids have a set of shared assumptions that add up to warped beauty standard or make some other high-minded point, you literally can't be fat and scene as you will be below. I thought Millionaires established this a long time ago in "Ho Down" but as you can see it is still debated hotly by YouTube commenters/Mensa:
"I'm not big myself, but I feel for them." How do I nominate someone for sainthood? Also, "crissangelfreako."
Apparently fattys cannot be sluts either. Who knew?? I can't keep up with all these new developments in youth culture!!
Looks like WeabooWho is not only unhappy about her race, but her body as well. Let's all thank her parents for their incredible work.
I really like using YouTube comments as a research tool because you find some of the most jaw-droppingly stupid ideas expressed with stunningly poor grammar and spelling. In other words, solid gold.
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Rule 2: You must have good hair This one is pretty understandable, because if you're a scene kid with bad hair, then you're not really scene, you're just a weird looking kid with inappropriately high self-esteem and the world does not need any more of THOSE. This is a topic I know a thing or two about (my ex was a hair stylist for several years) so I can definitely see where the haters are coming from here.
It's so hard to pick just one, but this might be my favorite of Brookelle Bone's looks. What's up baby, your hair is piecey as fuck!
With so many resources available for kids these days, there is absolutely no reason why can't have good hair if you are willing to put in the time. For fuck's sake, there is a Flickr thread entitled "Cheetah print or racoon stripes? Which should I get?", I don't know how much fucking easier we can make it for kids than that!! What ever happened to commitment, damn it?! My grandpa didn't drop bombs on the Germans in WWII so your lazy ass could sit around the house with your hair in a goddamn ponytail!
What's that, baby? Yes, of course I'll keep it a secret- We're friends, and friends never snitch! Now what was it you wanted to show me??
Rogue's gallery There is a nearly endless supply of scene fail images, so look for yourself, but here are a few of the highlights- mostly stolen from the resources below, but some from various Myspaces I pulled myself. Before the misery begins, spend a minute or two looking at the lovely lady above- I posted her for a "spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" kind of thing- then brace yourself!
Her face looks like a cheaply made mask that doesn't move enough to look like real human skin
I think that's a fake belly that she is wearing for a health class or something. Please God, let it be fake. Don't let it breed.
Bro... have you considered a less embarrassing phase to spend your teenage years on? Like maybe being a Juggalo or furry?
This would make an amazing image for "after" in an anti-scene PSA like those terrifying meth ones
I think she is trying to look charmingly awkward so you'll say "Aw I just wanna pick you up and squeeze you like a puppy." Instead, she looks like she is thinking, "Fuck... I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
Taking slutty pictures in the mirror is the best thing ever when it is a girl doing it. When it's a dude whose face looks like one of his parents was a Persian cat, not so much. And to make matters worse, what the fuck is he wearing?? Those jeans and t-shirt are complete bullshit, was that the Wal-Mart "scene kid" kit he bought on the way to the Hanson/Hellogoodbye show last week?
Phew, that's enough for now! Stay tuned and I will share more scene fails as I collect them.
As an example, please see the above photo of the band More Like The Movies. Sorry bros, there's just no nice way to say it. Your hair is the least of your worries: you have the arms of 28 year old indie girls who do rollerderby.
What's a water balloon? You've heard of the "Freshman 15," right? It happens to lots of girls when they start college: a year of too many Keystone Lights and nursing hangovers with pizza, and before they know it, they've put they've put on a few pounds and go from Shanae Grimes to Lindsay Lohan. They're not fat by any means, they just have a little bit more meat on their bones than they probably meant to. Luckily, because they're so young, the pounds go in all the right places, everything stays in place. That's a water balloon: a 19-22 year old girl with a tiny little muffintop or belly who still has a super tight body that jiggles like a water balloon.
Melissa Millionaire is a cute little scene queen who also happens to be a WB... the world's first scene balloon! Most scene girls are skinny bitches, so Melissa has a special place in my heart. I know it's a long shot, but I'm hoping that some day we end up crossing paths and have a magical connection. Maybe we can go to the mall, check out Forever 21, and hit up Sbarro. And we would hold hands the whole time, of course.
If you have questions about awesome hair, neon merch, Hollister, or when the new Blessthefallrecord is going to drop (October 6, in case you were wondering), you should ask an expert: a scene kid. On the other hand, if you are looking for tips on how to fight, maybe it's better for you tocheck out a Bulldoze show. Don't believe me? Here's some evidence:
These scene teens get together in their backyard to duke it out, Fight Club style. This video captures the highlights of their extremely sloppy "fights," accompanied by a soundtrack featuring Brokencyde, Escape the Fate, Millionaires and, uh, Disturbed? And Korn. Scene mix tape: you're doing it wrong!
In this video, some scene douche in what looks to be Hollywood gets in a fight, shouts some nonsense like "THIS IS WHAT AMERICA'S SOCIETY TEACHES YOU TO LEARN!" over and over, and then his pants fall down. This prompts an observer to say, "His butthole comin' out too far!"
So there you have it. Have a good weekend, and before you try this at home, at least watch some instructionals to avoid embarrassing yourself!
Blessed By A Broken Heart is my favorite post-ironic Christian hair-metal crunkcore scene band from Canada. I know what you are thinking: Wat. I'll admit that this band was enough to make even my head spin with post-modern amazement at first, but bear with me. It turns out they are just the scene version of Kirk Cameron, shilling for Jesus with a flatiron instead of an NIV Bible. I will deconstruct them for you and explain why I think they could end up being hated even more than Brokencyde.
So. Much. Irony. Urge to kill rising...
With that out of the way, I introduce you to Blessed By A Broken Heart and list the reasons why you will hate them. A great place to start is their song "Mic Skillz II" in which they combine trance, hair metal and rap while lyrically referencing TMNT, Snoop Dogg, Technotronic, and steal a video clip from Final Fantasy VII.
"It ain't nothin' but a scene thing baby." Mind=blown
1. Excessive wackiness, zaniness and cleverness Nobody likes a tryhard, and BBABH definitely try way too hard to impress you with what I'm sure they think are their hilarious antics. Look, I get it: they're "in on the joke." The fact that their entire image is a big ironic joke is fine, the problem is that it's not funny, it's just a tiresome, transparent cry for attention from a bunch of churchy dorks who are so painfully square that they feel guilty for drinking a Diet Pepsi.
You can practically taste their burning desire for peer approval. Like the lab rats who furiously pound the lever that delivers cocaine into their veins, BBABH thirst for your attention as though they had been stranded in the desert for a month and your validation of their ham-fisted persona is a pitcher of ice water. They wait eagerly for you to catch one of the references in their song and tell them how clever their lyrics are, how "random" the song is, and tell them they're "so crazy." They want it so badly that they go so far as to lyrically roadmap their references in "Mic Skillz II":
Check check, what Now you now your letters Learn your numbers Right after this Beverly Hills Cop part
Groan.
Protip: if you have to explain the joke to me, it's not funny anymore (if it ever was in the first place). It just makes you a desperate tryhard. It's not unlike the "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" trope in which a white TV/movie character uses a piece of "urban" slang then looks expectantly at the camera, waiting for laffs. For example, maybe there is a grandmother telling you how great Tropicana orange juice is, and she concludes her pitch by mugging for the camera and saying "Word to your mother!" Only in this case, BBABH turns toward the camera with a smug grin on their face and says, "Pump up the jam!" Either way, it's enough to make you wish for a cyanide capsule to chomp on as an IRL rage quit.
I can haz attention?
There is a time and a place for zaniness and wacky jokes, but moderation is the key. I don't think anybody gave BBABH the rulebook, though, because their zaniness knows no bounds. They never, ever hesitate to pat themselves on the back for making a forced, hackneyed joke that's about as subtle, sophisticated and funny as Hee-Haw. Like in "Mic Skillz II" where they simply growl (in pseudo-death metal vocals) "Cookie Monster!" Yes, we get it: death metal vocals sound like Cookie Monster, I thought that joke was funny too... in 1990.
The only thing in this photo that's funny is the singer's Jesus tattoo.
Unless their shtick is to be deliberately unfunny they have failed miserably at doing anything other than disappointing me. If they are being deliberately unfunny then they are fucking brilliant, achieving levels of genius that only Hipster Runoff can approach, with its layers upon layers of irony. But I am going to go out on a limb and say that these churchy simpletons aren't masters of postmodern humor, but simply much less funny than they think they are.
Ha ha ha!! I get it: You bought some "hilarious" early 90s clothes at a thrift store, then LOLed with your friends as you worked yourselves into a frenzy of anticipation about all the congratulatory comments you would get when you put the pictures up on MySpace. LOL!!! You're so funny and CRAZY!! Look out Andy Samberg, here comes the zany bro in the wacky clothes!!
2. Amateurish marketing I'm willing to bet that these fuckholes sat down with one of their lawyer dads in his home office and put together a business plan before they ever played a single note of music. He even gave them a loan to cover the marketing budget (he's kind of kicking himself for giving it to them at 4.5% APR, though, because now that credit markets are so much tighter he could have gotten a much better rate).
This song is actually a pretty great moshglam tune and has some really subtle, funny touches like the hilarious tom sound.
Much like their bad jokes, the problem isn't that they are relentless self-promoters, but that they are terrible at it. It is painful to see these tards fumble one play after the next just like how when you're watching a Little League game you want to slap one of the kids and yell, "How the fuck did you miss that pitch you worthless piece of shit!? It was right over the goddamn plate, he might has well have handed it to you on a silver fucking platter!!"
Dudes, look at him doing situps on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame! Man, these guys must be sooooo much fun to be around, they probably so crazy stuff like that all the time!
In the video above the band clumsily tries to make you think they are a bunch of stupid rockers. For example, one of the guys talks about how much he loves their makeup artist. I guess that's supposed to be funny because it shows that he is a shallow buffoon who is way too into his image? I'm not sure if these guys have ever heard of a movie called "Spinal Tap" but they kind of did the whole "hilariously self-absorbed and clueless heavy metal band" thing a long time ago. It's about as subtle and original as how 99% of the jokes in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" are based around the premise of "gay people exist."
BBABH is essentially the IRL version of South Park's Faith +1
3. Christian or Canadian? Both, actually. While it certainly explains a lot, it shouldn't come a surprise that BBABH are Canadian. But did I mention they are Christian? There's nothing wrong with that, the problem is that their parents (who have been happily married for 35 years) obviously didn't criticize them enough so they think everything they do is fucking gold. I love my parents; do you know why? Not because they were great fucking role models, that's for sure, but because they would never let me get away with subpar creative work. If I drew an apple for my mom at age 6, she would crumple it up and tell me the midtones were muddy. Here is how the conversation would go if I played "Mic Skillz II" for my dad (who saw The Accused with me in 1990 so he is down as fuck):
Me: So that's the new song I wrote for my band, what do you think? Dad: I think you should start over.
Holy fucking fuck, I want to stab this fucking shitbag in the face with AIDS
These nerds probably met because they all went to the "edgy" maltstream church who used a grungy typewriter font for their logo and had some cryptic name that would occasionally trick stupid kids into thinking it was a club, like "The Pad" or "Crown of Thorns." One day they got crazy and stayed up until 11 PM, all hopped up on Red Vines and ginger ale and decided that the best way they could share Christ's love with the world was through a band that combined everything annoying about drama club and with the most boring parts of church. One of them got so excited that he said the f-word by accident, but he called his mom to apologize so it turned out OK.
The cockface from BBABH and the doughy singer for A Day To Remember compare their matching MXPX tattoos (seriously, I am not making that up, look closely). In nature that is a symbol which means "This infant should be eaten by its mother for the sake of its species."
4. They are saving themselves for marriage I kind of feel bad for the half-dozen desperate girls who probably wait outside their tour bus every night hoping to give a blowjob to one of the guys in the band, because they're going to go home as lonely and sexually frustrated as they were when they arrived, thanks to BBABH's love for Christ. I bet these Boy Scouts trick girls into coming on the bus in hopes of getting laid, only instead of trying to get in their pants like the creepverts in every other band on the planet, BBABH probably give the girls a couple of Chick tracts, a glass of ice water, and send them on their way after scolding them for showing their ankles in public.
When you get this in your inbox, you are like "God I love being in a band"...
but then you get 100 of these and you think, "maybe they're still hiring for that assistant manager job at Claire's."
BBABH seems to attract more than their fair share of tryhard male groupies, which makes perfect sense given that the band themselves crave attention as though they were trapped on the floor of the ocean and peer approval was the oxygen to fill their burning lungs. I can't imagine what possessed this cockmaster to send them that picture. "Hmm," he thought, "I bet the dudes in BBABH would love to check their email and be greeted by a picture of my shirtless teen body with the name of their band written on it. Now, I better hurry up and use the flatiron before my mom needs to get ready for work because she hates sharing it with me."
This BBABH photo is just a few years old. You can see how far their shtick has come since then, when they were wearing flared jeans that they bought at Limited Too with gift certificates from their aunt.
This one time at band camp... Let's be clear: I love bands with a shtick. Gwar, Rice, Shat, and Steel Panther are all brilliant. Obviously BBABH are smart enough to realize that by crafting such over-the-top personas, they'll attract attention, both positive and negative- and no press is bad press, right? I'm totally on board with that, which is half of why I love Brokencyde. Anybody who gets their panties in a bind over that is the butt of the joke and playing right into BBABH's hands. The problem is that their Ned Flanders-meets-Monty Python jokes aren't fucking funny. Go back to the drawing board, Bible-thumpers.
You are probably already familiar with Millionaires, but most likely only their most popular song, "Alcohol." It's a great song, but with lines like "Girls talk shit we don't care, we'll take off our underwear" and a chorus that goes "Gimme my alcohol, let's get fucked up!" it might give you the wrong idea about these three lovely ladies. You might think they're just the girl version of Brokencyde, that they just wanna get fucked up and bang strangers. But you'd be wrong, they're so much more than just that!
"Martinis & Mixed Feelings" shows off the softer of Millionaires, and the fact that their producer knows how to use autotune very aggressively (which is fine with me; as far as I'm concerned autotune makes any kind of music better). I like to listen to it when I'm swooning over Taylor Swift, imagining what our wedding would look like and writing my first name with "Swift" at the end... just to see what it would look like, you know?? Maybe this song would be playing during the scene where Taylor and I meet in the movie of my life... our eyes lock onto each other from across the dancefloor; even with a few drinks in me I can tell that Tay and I are meant for each other...
Well anyway, I think this is the best Millionaires song, I hope you hate it.
Thanks to commenter Rygar for this gem, I hadn't seen it before- or should I say SCENE it?! Ba-dum *crash*
This kid knows what's up: Oftentimes the things that your peers will ridicule you for the most are the same things that attractive girls will be the most interested in. This is not always the case, but if you find your friends hating on something you are wearing, before abandoning it, you should ask yourself what kind of feedback you've gotten from hot girls about it. For example, many of my (old, male) friends make fun of my watch.
And maybe they are right, maybe it does look gay. But I also know that many attractive ladies with good style have used it as an excuse to talk to me and hold my hand while they look at it, so I'm laughing all the way to the bank.
If I made a video about it, it would go, "And look at my new scene watch. It's fuckin' pink as fuck. Yeah, it's totally gay, because bitches love that shit. And it matches my new Nikes, they're scene as fuck too."
Fuck the haters, dawg! If the ladies are feeling your scene hair, keep working it! I mean personally I place Norma Jean shirts somewhere near truck balls and Big Johnson gear as far as indicators of subhuman stupidity, but who cares what I think? U go, girl. And for all you butthurt pussies who want to strangle this kid, remember...
I am old and I grew up listening to hardcore and metal. Here is what my friends at Something Awful said about this blog. I like it:
The meaning of "Stuff You Will Hate" changes depending on the installment, and often during the course of a single column. It can mean "stuff I love, but that you, the reader, will dislike." Sometimes it means "stuff you will hate, and I hate it as well." And sometimes, it means "stuff you like, and I might actually like it, too, but I'm going to pretend to hate it in a way that will infuriate you because it will be written as a parody of a typical idiot hating something great, and you'll quote the fake blurb to your friends and say 'what an ignorant dick' when in reality it's intentional and now we're laughing at you, you gullible fuck."
