Owl City is a gay

Via Yahoo Answers:

There you have it, that pretty much summons it up indeed.

Owl City screamo covers = the universe imploding in on itself??

The phenomenon of top 40 screamo covers is old news (I participated in Decibel's "Screamo Covers Tournament" over a year ago), but I am not quite sure what to make of the zillions of Owl City screamo covers. Are they ironic? Are any screamo covers even ironic anymore?? Isn't that kind of like Lady Gaga covering Kelly Clarkson, or Earth Crisis covering Strife?

Notorious German shit merchants Bionic Ghost Kids manage to do the best version I could find (but to be fair, I only put about 3 minutes of work into my search)

This 14 year old girl's version is somehow less effeminate than the original

The guitars sound like they were recorded with a Radio Shack microphone inside a cardboard box half full of oily rags-- I thought all the kids these days came out of the womb with expert knowledge of how to run pirated versions of ProTools on their Macbook Pros? And the drums, jesus christ... sounds like someone dumping a bunch of tennis balls on that same cardboard box- and I'm honestly not exaggerating with that description.

An Open Ended Sky have a horrible name, but their cover sucks a little less than the others

What do you think? Is it cheating to do screamo covers of emo songs?? Should bands start doing screamo covers of themselves???

THE MOST EMBARRASSING VIDEO EVER MADE

Holy fuck.... you need to watch this whole video, there is way too much going on for me to even describe it. Highlights include telling haters to "put a glock in their mouth and make a brain slushie," mentioning "all the shit going on at Sitcky Drama," and that she is "getting coon tails and snakies" soon. But there is so much more... this is the absolute epitome of the SYWH tag "photo documentation of dumb things you did in high school."

On that note, I am so glad the Internet didn't exist when I was a loudmouthed, arrogant teenager, because I definitely might have made a video this stupid.

Some teenagers do a god awful ADTR cover

Wow, they totally nailed it!

I especially love the wigger on the keyboard who dosn't actually play it ever, but provides the odd growl vocal, much in the style of Emmure on coke. Also, the guy who fucks up the intro by starting the gang chant too early when the singer's still introducing the song. The horribly out of tune guitars were a nice touch too.

Reminds me of my old gig days back when I was 14, playing awful, awful covers to mildly appriciative friends in pubs, organised by waaaayyy too enthusiastic "promotors", also roughly 14-16. Actually, looking back, they were some of the best years of my life.

I guess if I was born a few years later I would have probably been in that video. Glad how the teenagers of today are preparing for trancecore pre-emptively by including a synth player, even if they haven't figured out how to use him yet. If these guys are still around next year they'll probably resemble Fail Emotions.

My first ever gig, I seriously dread to hear what it must have sounded like

I'm guessing many of the readers of SYWH, being old hardcore dudes, also can relate to this, having likely played similarly shittastic first gigs too (back in the day). What were yours like? I almost puked before mine, ala Eminem in 8 Mile. Anyway, it was terrible, we opened with a cover of "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath, and for weeks I had to put up with all my friends lying about how good it was.

Justin Bieber DIY screamo covers [via shirtless tweens]

If you are over 20 and don't have kids, you probably have never heard of tween pop sensation Justin Bieber. As Elise at Reign In Blonde will tell you, he's making millions of panties moist as I type this and is basically famous as fuck. There's nothing tweens like more than non-threatening boys with guitars, and there's nothing the internets like more than semi-ironic screamo covers of pop songs. Here are a few of my favorite covers of the Biebz:

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The original (for oldz who don't know Biebz)

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Shirtless tween chills in his room; records cover video (f/t tween nip)

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These tweens put a non-threatening crunkcore spin on Beeb

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Even modest-looking/homely "funny girls" can use their MacBooks to record JB covers (instead of using them for homework like they promised their parents)

Stay tuned for a full-length Justin Bieber post coming soon!

WIGGED & CONFUSED: TKO, suburban Toronto chapter

There are few things funnier than wiggers: Kid Rock, Fred Durst, Eminem and Waking the Cadaver, to name just a few. We are proud to present the first installment of a new feature on SYWH: WIGGED & CONFUSED (credit to ShawnYouWillHate for the name). In this feature we will share our favorite wiggers on the internets-- and the first one is a doozy!

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Los Angeles TV news segment on TKO, featuring Toomer and some pretty tight Colt45 footage

In case you are not familiar with them, the TKO is a graffiti crew from Los Angeles (although they are now national/international). They have put down a lot more people in the past few years, but I am pretty sure they are still not letting 14 year-old wiggers from the outskirts of Toronto rep True Kings Only. But maybe I am wrong, because this little Canadian has a Youtube video in which he and a cop go door-to-door looking for a legal wall where he can do his "TORONTO TKO" piece (via 12 oz Prophet).

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Note the bogus COLT45 tags on the wall they find lol

Clearly this confused little boy has a problem. Our suggestion? Give Snoop Dogg's wigger removal service a call:

RIP Doggy Fizzle Televizzle

More at LOLWigger.com
SYWH interviews with SEEDER of BTM/3A and EZEC of DMS

A couple fat scene fails lip synching to 3OH!3

Via Strike Gently comes this disturbing montage of some fatties singing 3OH!3 songs in their bedrooms:

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In the words of SOD, kill yourself now.

THIS SCENEBRO WEARS GIRL PANTIES!!!!

This bro posted the above pic of himself in a thread entitled "Kids who used to be scene and blatantly took a 180." Courtesy of Bridge 9:

Hahaha, I'm surprised anybody remembers this, makes me feel important...or makes you guys look like pathetic losers, either way I enjoy it. That was my first encounter with the b9 when the thread was sent to me and I'm pretty sure I tried to defend myself...oh how naive to the b9's ways I was. I also had a hate thread on a purevolume board and pretty sure NWhardcore the same week. Oh well, got me lots of scene pussy and it brings the lolz.

I'm sure he did/does get "lots of scene pussy," and there is def something to be said for that. But I am going to say that posting pics of yourself on the internets wearing girl undies is 1000000000000000000x more embarrassing than whatever bro-props you might get from banging from some random scene mattress. And as a B9 poster asked, WHO IS TAKING THIS PICTURE????

He should wear some of these shorts in his next set of mirror shots

Cheers to my bros from NWHardcore and B9 for providing a venue in which this bro can shame himself, you guys are legit!!

High school newspaper calls FTSK's EP "forever the sickest album"

As I have mentioned before, Forever The Sickest Kids are my favorite band, and I love their new EP "Friday." But since I am old and out of touch, I thought maybe I was the only one. Therefore, I was very happy to see the following high school newspaper review validate not only my musical opinions, but my existence as a human being.

ShawnYouWillHate thinks that "She Likes," FTSK's first single off the EP, sounds like Third Eye Blind. I agree, and I love this song.

Via Absolute Punk poster Kid B (bold parts made me lol the hardest):

Forever The Sickest Kids release forever the sickest album

Taking aspects from various genres, “The Weekend,” the sophomore album from Forever the Sickest Kids (FTSK) is leaving listeners speechless with ground breaking innovation and superb production and lyricism.

FTSK’s first record, “Underdog Alma Mater” set high standards, reaching number 45 on the Billboard Top 200. To avoid dropping tracks and to shorten the wait for new music, FTSK released a three-part album.

Veteran Matt Squire produced the album. Other than the over-produced “Hawkbot,” the production on this album is top-notch with clean vocals, perfect equalization and unique sounding instrumental tones.

This is no surprise, taking a glance at Squire’s resume he has also worked with prominent artists including All Time Low, 3OH!3, Boys Like Girls, A Rocket To The Moon and Saosin.

Most of the tracks on the album follow similar themes of coping with their rise to fame and partying, while the others embody different relationship situations including common problems and disasters that are relatable to listeners.
The album is versatile, encompassing many genres including pop/punk, progressive rock, alternative and power pop.

The first single from the album, “She Likes (Bittersweet Love),” sounds similar to music from their previous album, while still featuring original aspects. With acoustic guitar backing, drum fills and vocals from all three of the band’s singers, “She Likes” proves to surpass standard punk/pop expectations of fans. The song also features catchy riffs and driving keys that are not common in modern music.

The only downside to the album is the song “Hawkbot,” which features hip-hop artist Chaey Hawk. The band’s futile attempt at writing a rap falls way short of expectations set by previous hip-hop inspired release “Jumping Out The Window.”

This song is also overly produced with too many effects including voice changes with autotune, electronic drumbeats and over-the-top techno reaching the point that it feels unnatural.

With the exception of “Hawkbot,” FTSK’s new album lives up to their previous release. The album is building greater anticipation for the next two parts of this release.

My favorite parts is the phrase "writing a rap" lol.

Full AP thread here

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Bonus content: Acoustic version of "She Likes," sponsored by Taco Bell. Make a run for the border!

Scene: You're Doing It Wrong! Emo/scene fails and posers

I would replay 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and the LA riots over again 100 times than introduce another poser into this world. I know that sounds extreme, but if somebody doesn't keep an eye on things, next thing you know they let just ANYBODY into this place and nobody wants that to happen.

This video is kinda long, but has a lot of good info. Basically it comes down to this: Posers have a Sidekick, listen to metalcore, and have bad hair. Real scene/HXC kids have a Sidekick, listen to metalcore, and have AMAZING HAIR.

Intro to poser spotting: Hardcore posers
When it comes to hardcore, it's pretty easy to spot a poser: they thrash to the mosh parts, and mosh to the thrash parts. This tweenbro has some good vids too for getting up to speed, like here where he makes two main points: You pose if you shop at Zumiez and Enter Shikari is a very talented hardcore band.

In the 2K9, Righteous Jams, Toxic Narcotic and Reach The Sky are more or less interchangeable with SSD, Siege, and Slapshot- just an FYI. As far as getting your head ripped off for "looking like a faggotty scene or poser" at Boston hardcore shows, I guess someone forgot to give Gibby from Panic the memo since he seemed to get along just fine there and he literally wrote the website on how to look like a faggoty scene kid (and banged a hot friend of mine years ago *high five* ).

If you are still confused, check out an informative video called "Today's Hardcore Scene" which will tell you everything you need to know about the hxc scene, especially classic bands like Bury Your Dead, Walls Of Jericho and Thick As Blood. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have been around back in the day and see one of those bands in their prime, like right after Walls of Jericho put out their 6th album.

Even a novice like me can see the obvious problems here... you never have a bright light source behind the subject!

Advanced poser spotting: Scene kids
With years of experience under my belt, I can smell a hardcore poser a mile away. I'm still a relatively entry-level sceneologist, though, so it doesn't come quite as easily to me. I am a firm believer in ethnographic research, or observing subjects in their native environment, so consulted the internets, the native domain of scene kids. I found a vibrant community centered around poser spotting, which they call scene fails. It's complicated, but it seems like there are two basic rules: No fatties and no bad hair.



Rule 1: You can't be fat
No, seriously. I'm not trying to say that scene kids have a set of shared assumptions that add up to warped beauty standard or make some other high-minded point, you literally can't be fat and scene as you will be below. I thought Millionaires established this a long time ago in "Ho Down" but as you can see it is still debated hotly by YouTube commenters/Mensa:

"I'm not big myself, but I feel for them." How do I nominate someone for sainthood? Also, "crissangelfreako."

Apparently fattys cannot be sluts either. Who knew?? I can't keep up with all these new developments in youth culture!!

Looks like WeabooWho is not only unhappy about her race, but her body as well. Let's all thank her parents for their incredible work.

I really like using YouTube comments as a research tool because you find some of the most jaw-droppingly stupid ideas expressed with stunningly poor grammar and spelling. In other words, solid gold.

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Rule 2: You must have good hair
This one is pretty understandable, because if you're a scene kid with bad hair, then you're not really scene, you're just a weird looking kid with inappropriately high self-esteem and the world does not need any more of THOSE. This is a topic I know a thing or two about (my ex was a hair stylist for several years) so I can definitely see where the haters are coming from here.

It's so hard to pick just one, but this might be my favorite of Brookelle Bone's looks. What's up baby, your hair is piecey as fuck!

With so many resources available for kids these days, there is absolutely no reason why can't have good hair if you are willing to put in the time. For fuck's sake, there is a Flickr thread entitled "Cheetah print or racoon stripes? Which should I get?", I don't know how much fucking easier we can make it for kids than that!! What ever happened to commitment, damn it?! My grandpa didn't drop bombs on the Germans in WWII so your lazy ass could sit around the house with your hair in a goddamn ponytail!

What's that, baby? Yes, of course I'll keep it a secret- We're friends, and friends never snitch! Now what was it you wanted to show me??

Rogue's gallery
There is a nearly endless supply of scene fail images, so look for yourself, but here are a few of the highlights- mostly stolen from the resources below, but some from various Myspaces I pulled myself. Before the misery begins, spend a minute or two looking at the lovely lady above- I posted her for a "spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" kind of thing- then brace yourself!

Her face looks like a cheaply made mask that doesn't move enough to look like real human skin

I think that's a fake belly that she is wearing for a health class or something. Please God, let it be fake. Don't let it breed.

Bro... have you considered a less embarrassing phase to spend your teenage years on? Like maybe being a Juggalo or furry?


Joey Belladonna's message to Chief Buzznet: "Cry for the indians!"

This would make an amazing image for "after" in an anti-scene PSA like those terrifying meth ones

I think she is trying to look charmingly awkward so you'll say "Aw I just wanna pick you up and squeeze you like a puppy." Instead, she looks like she is thinking, "Fuck... I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

Taking slutty pictures in the mirror is the best thing ever when it is a girl doing it. When it's a dude whose face looks like one of his parents was a Persian cat, not so much. And to make matters worse, what the fuck is he wearing?? Those jeans and t-shirt are complete bullshit, was that the Wal-Mart "scene kid" kit he bought on the way to the Hanson/Hellogoodbye show last week?

Phew, that's enough for now! Stay tuned and I will share more scene fails as I collect them.

Further resources
I took images from Photobucket, Scene Fail on Tumblr, and uh... Glow In The Dark Vagina. Please thank them for their excellent work and send in any of your own scene fail images!